No surprise. Intelligent, highly literate people – that’s you lot – care about grammatical standards.
Still, I didn’t expect such a lively reaction to yesterday’s column about the new greatest crime against the English language: the plague of “myself” and “yourself”, instead of “me” and “you”.
Grammar vigilantes are roaming the Letters inbox. Rumours reach us that apostrophe death squads are forming in the Chiltern Hills. Meanwhile, readers of The i Paper agree that new punishments are required for offenders.
“I approve of the reintroduction of village stocks in supermarket car parks,” writes Steve Rudd from Marlborough, “but fear that so many would be needed, there would be insufficient parking spaces left.”
Steve has tabled an amendment, adding “going forward” to the list of crimes.
Readers also demand stiff sentences for “gotten” (Bryan Bundey, Bramhope, Leeds), “me and my husband” (Adele Wilter, Gerrards Cross), “fewer”/“less” confusion (Cecelia John, who is a linguist and examiner), “would of” (Esther Harrington, Brighton), “reaching out” (John Harrison), and TV newsreaders saying “bin” instead of “been” (Wendy Doody, Hangersley, Hampshire).
One of my in-laws – who was beaten with a slipper known as “White Fang” while at Portsmouth Grammar – insists that all perpetrators be given “a good flogging”.
Lastly, Liz Berry hopes fellow readers might enjoy this example of the exceptional dogs permitted at a recent event: “Well-behaved dogs kept on a lead are welcome with responsible owners. As long as the dog is comfortable with crowds, noise and flashing lights, also pick up after themselves.”
@olyduff
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