Below Deck Mediterranean‘s Cathy Skinner is breaking her silence about her stepfather’s death by suicide, which wasn’t originally mentioned on the hit Bravo series.
“Personally, for myself, I said to myself, ‘I am not going to deal with this until the show comes out because I’m going to relive it.’ Whether that’s the right thing to do or wrong thing to do, I don’t know,” Cathy exclusively told Us Weekly while offering more insight on her personal loss. “I was able to compartmentalize, still grieve and have my moments. But now is the time for healing.”
Cathy found out about her stepfather’s death from her mother, who called to inform her of the news while the season 10 cameras were rolling. i It took some time before Cathy was able to reunite with her family after choosing to remain on board.
“Especially my mom and I, we are both quite explosive people. Not spending loads of time together straight away was better for us. We could both just calm down our emotions and then speak about it instead of it being so raw,” she noted. “But a suicide — they call us suicide survivors. We’re the ones that are literally surviving it. The pain doesn’t stop. The pain passes on.”
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Cathy recalled confronting difficult questions immediately after the tragedy, adding, “Especially with no notes and so much confusion surrounding it. We can both take from it that if this helps one person I’m happy. Whether that’s someone that’s dealt with suicide or that’s healing from losing someone and just sees me keep going with life or that someone that’s dealing with bad mental health themselves and realizes their emotions are temporary. A bad week isn’t a bad month. A bad month is not a bad year and a bad year is still not a bad life.”
Viewers saw Cathy dealing with the fallout of her stepfather’s death in a December episode of the hit show. Details about her loved one’s cause of death weren’t made known on screen, which surprised Cathy.
Fred Jagueneau/Bravo“I thought it was going to be a lot more explained. It was probably my main reason [for] sharing my vulnerability was if I could help one person. I’m a little bit disappointed that it felt like it was [hidden] away. Like maybe I’m ashamed of it,” she admitted to Us. “I would have loved for them to talk about it more — especially because other deaths on the show [have mentioned] the cause. It looks like it’s a bit hidden.”
Cathy clarified that she was grateful for the support she did receive behind the scenes.
“I was so supported by the production and the camera crew and everyone. I cannot fault them. It’s a very delicate subject and I do truly believe that they were trying to be cautious of me and respect my family,” she continued. “Do I want to watch the next four episodes with me just crying about death? No, I don’t. It was a tough call. But I do wish it would have been at least said.”
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She added: “If I can use my platform now in speaking to people on social media to know that I’m not ashamed about it. Let’s talk about it.”
Cathy called the loss “absolutely unimaginable” for her.
“I was so blindsided. Not only that but a couple of months before, I had dealt with one of my best friends passing away whilst I was on charter. The grief and PTSD was just all setting in. The fact that it was a suicide hits so much [more]. I’ve never dealt with something like that before,” she told Us. “But the reason I stayed — and the way I stayed — is because my mom was just so incredibly strong. Obviously the conversation was a lot longer than what you see. … I wanted to remain strong. I take my moments but I am enjoying what I’m loving doing. I was having the absolute time of my life. I was probably the happiest I’ve been in so so long. To go through something like that when you are in what you think is in your prime happiness, it is tough. But I was definitely in the right place and I have no regrets.”
She concluded: “This new year I’m going to heal and go to therapy and talk to people about it. I really need to learn how to be alone instead of just being really busy. So it’s tough. It’s still going to be tough. You can’t grieve, in one year, a person’s life.”
Below Deck Med airs on Bravo Mondays at 8 p.m. ET. New episodes stream the next day on Peacock.
If you or someone you know is in emotional distress or considering suicide, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
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