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BRISBANE — The signs for England are not looking good ahead of this week’s second Ashes Test at the Gabba.
After losing the first Test in Perth in two days, this is a venue where they have won just once in 47 years – and that was back in 1986.
It’s also known as “The Gabbatoir” for a reason, namely because it is Australia’s most feral ground, packed full to the rafters with Queenslanders who set the gold-standard in Pom-baiting – witness the jokers who smuggled in a pig in a pram daubed with Stuart Broad’s name during the 2013-14 Ashes.
That hog, who ended up being adopted by Peter Siddle, was apprehended before it could be released onto the field, unlike in 1983, when a pig daubed with the names of Ian Botham and Eddie Hemmings got onto the Gabba outfield during an ODI. That was tranquilised by vets, put in a cool box with ice and had an apple stuck in its mouth.
Defeat has not dampened England’s spirits in Australia (Photo: PA)The heat and humidity of Brisbane is another challenge for visiting teams, while Australia are masters of the pink-ball format, winning 13 of the 14 Tests they have played under lights.
So I guess we might as well write this one off, right? Wrong. Do not lose hope, there’s always reasons for optimism, however bleak the outlook. Here are a few to get you in the mood for the Ashes again…
Losing the first Test might not be as bad as you think
The last time England won an away Ashes series from 1-0 down was 1954-55 – when the team still travelled to Australia by boat. Yet as much as we hear the first Test is always crucial, maybe we’ve got it wrong?
BBC Test Match Special statistician Andy Zaltzman came up with a cracker this week: in the 20 Ashes series played Down Under since the Second World War, 17 of the second Tests have had a positive result. Of those, the team that’s won has gone on to win the series 16 times.
So, if England can be victorious here – and it’s a big if – history suggests the urn is coming home!
Australia lost their last pink-ball game at the Gabba
For all that their record is great in day-night Tests – and they bowled out the West Indies for 27 to win their last one in Kingston in July – Australia did lose their previous pink-ball game in Brisbane.
That was also against the Windies, but this time Shamar Joseph’s second-innings haul of seven for 68 inspired his team to a memorable victory, coincidentally on the same day England beat India at Hyderabad in January of last year.
Australia have also only won two of their past five Tests at the Gabba.
England won their last day-night Test
Joe Root insisted on Sunday that the Ashes definitely doesn’t need day-night cricket. England have hosted only one pink-ball match, against the Windies in 2017, and barely anyone else bothers with the format.
Yet, despite losing all three Ashes pink-ball Tests, the Bazballers did win their last day-night Test against New Zealand at Mount Maunganui in February 2023.
Usman Khawaja might play
Usman Khawaja never looked comfortable during the Perth Test match (Photo: AFP)Australia are known for their conservative selection policy so expect Khawaja, the opener who put his back out playing golf before the Perth Test, to get another run out here rather than the hosts opening with Travis Head, who took down England’s bowlers on the last day of that series opener while Khawaja, 38, was laid up.
McCullum’s England have never lost a series from 1-0 down
Okay, they were both at home, against South Africa and Australia, and they drew that one in the 2024 Ashes when they actually went 2-0 down. But it’s still something to draw on.
A history of utterly ludicrous wins with Stokes in charge
The heist of Hyderabad last year, the ludicrous run chases of 378 and 371 against India, at Edgbaston in 2022 and Headingley last summer respectively, beating Pakistan after scoring 823 for seven in Multan last year: these are just some of the remarkable things this team have done in recent years.
Why not another when they’ve been totally written off?
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