Why spending time alone can sometimes be good for you ...Middle East

Humans are social creatures and we all need to have good connections with those we love and who matter to us. The quality of our relationships is one of the key elements of our well-being.

A lot of well-being advice will give you tips about how to establish, nurture and maintain good friendships and social connections – but what about the relationship with ourselves?

There are a few elements to this – firstly that we have a relationship with ourselves and recognise its importance, secondly, that we develop this into a healthy one and thirdly, that we regularly check in and look after it.

So, why do we need a relationship with ourselves and what does research tell us is helpful about developing one? We have better mental health, greater resilience when things get tough and better empathy skills. We can grow as a person, be more self-sufficient, develop healthier relationships with family or friends, and can even improve productivity. But, most important of all, is that we know who we truly are – what we want, what is important to us, what we value, how we tick and how we react or respond, and what our emotional and thinking patterns are.

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Like using a broken sat nav, we get lost in life when we don’t know ourselves inside out: we make poor decisions, we find it difficult to know who to be around, which step to take next and when we need to reset and start again. We need to get our internal navigational “software” back on track.

Once we realise this, what are the specific actions we can take to nurture a healthy relationship with ourselves? These all involve spending some time on yourself, with yourself and by yourself – you need to do things on your own sometimes to find out who you are.

Have you ever been to watch a film on your own? Or do you shy away from doing it because you are worried about what other people might think, or because you are not treating yourself to something lovely, or because you don’t quite know what you might like to see? It may sound like a small step to take, but going on your own to a venue like the cinema can really clarify a few things – you have to realise you want to treat yourself to a nice event and that you deserve it, you have to make the time yourself, you have to work out which film you would enjoy and you have to go against a lot of societal pressures to only do these things with someone else.

Have a day out or travel

Taking a solo trip, even if it is not very far away, can teach you so much about yourself. You realise that you can create happy times and memories, you get to experience new things and see how you manage and adapt if events do not go to plan. You can also allow yourself to meet new people. Even if it is not far away or finances are tight, why not try to design an inexpensive day out for yourself, and see how it makes you feel?

There is a lot of pressure from society to think that eating out at a restaurant is only for two or more people. Many of us avoid eating out by ourselves for fear of looking lonely or like we do not have friends. But this is all just nonsense. It is a great thing to eat out on your own and once you have done it once, you will wonder why on earth you didn’t before. Spending time with yourself does not mean you have to feel lonely, and you can test just what good company you can be.

Spend a day at home

Life is full of potential distractions that sometimes take us away from ourselves and spending time alone. Try spending a whole day at home and be with yourself, your thoughts and your feelings. When you invite a friend to your house, you would plan a lovely time with some activities or food – why don’t you do that for yourself? See how you feel at the end of it and how well you have taken care of yourself. Have you made yourself laugh, allowed yourself to rest or taken time to reflect on how you feel? Practice makes perfect.

Start an activity or hobby

Knowing ourselves means knowing what we enjoy, fulfilling our passions and finding joy. One thing we can do to understand ourselves is to start an activity or hobby that represents who we truly are. That might be something completely new to us or re-engaging with something we used to do as children. Hobbies can help us see ourselves and lead to more creative ideas about how to nurture that relationship with ourselves.

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