Later on, at the local swing park, the pattern repeated itself: toddlers climbing eight-foot apparatus, crying, laughing, falling, getting up again, while parents stood at a quiet distance, chatting away quite happily. They got involved sometimes, of course, but nobody hovered. Nobody helicoptered. Nobody barked orders or chased their children around with snacks or tissues.
Danish children are given a lot of freedom from the get-go. And, as with any child anywhere, you give them a bit of responsibility and they rise to the occasion.
This attitude runs deep. It’s not a conscious thing: it’s just how the world works in Denmark. Kids cycle to kindergarten and roam forest schools with minimal adult intrusion. I’d see them at it while my daughter and I were out walking the dog, half feral yet gleefully independent, confident, strong, happy.
Let children figure things out. Let them feel capable, let them fail, and let them get up again. It works.
There was a collective confidence in letting kids be kids. And it rubbed off. Danish children are more secure in themselves, more grounded. No one seemed in a rush to make them achieve. They were simply allowed to grow.
You’re offered generous, flexible parental leave. This includes paternity cover. There is little poverty, meaning little child poverty. They have a national curriculum for early years that prioritises emotional development and social learning over phonics and measurable milestones.
Danish working culture supports all of this. People work fewer hours and long commutes are rare, especially in Copenhagen. Picking up your child at 3pm isn’t seen as slacking off. It’s part of the national rhythm. Families are under less stress. We were all certainly more relaxed out there. And children grow up knowing that their wellbeing isn’t an afterthought.
We can’t all move to Copenhagen. But we can take a lesson or two from parents there. In fact, “be more Danish” has become a bit of a mantra in our family. We don’t copy everything, of course. UK life isn’t set up to allow for it. But we have made an effort to adopt the spirit of calm, trust, and patience that we saw around us out there. It’s left all of us less anxious and less depleted.
We’ve even bought a fire pit for our daughter to cook on.
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