What do you think of when you hear the term “old souls”? Odds are, you think of buttoned-up, overly mature children or younger people who dress like they’re from a previous decade. And that would make sense, since old souls are typically associated with being wise beyond their years, or having taste in music and movies that reflects previous generations. However, the label can actually refer to so much more than that.
That’s not all; people who identify as old souls tend to have a slew of wonderful characteristics and habits that make them who they are. But what does having an old soul even mean?
To learn more, we spoke with two psychologists: Dr. Cathryn Goldman, PsyD—a licensed clinical psychologist and an adjunct clinical supervisor at Yeshiva University—and Dr. Carol M. Panetta, PsyD, a psychologist and the President of the Boston Graduate School of Psychoanalysis.
According to Dr. Goldman and Dr. Panetta, there are eight habits that are pretty common among old souls. Curious to learn more? Keep reading for their insights—and make sure to let us know in the comments which habit you identify with the most.
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What Makes Someone an Old Soul, According to Psychologists
“An ‘old soul’ is someone who, even if they are extremely young, understands that everything in life is more than it seems,” Dr. Panetta tells Parade. “They recognize that every situation has layers of history and even contradictions beneath it. They understand that these layers are reflected by, but not obvious in, the present circumstances.”
Dr. Goldman defines an old soul as “someone whose wisdom extends beyond their years of life.” Older people are, obviously, typically associated with having had more life experiences and being wiser. However, old souls often “demonstrate this wisdom well before the psychosocial developmental stage of ego integrity versus despair,” she points out.
“One contributing factor to the old soul personality may be found in Laura Carstensen’s socioemotional selectivity theory, which states that limited time horizon rather than chronological age impacts our values, motivation and choices,” she adds. “Therefore, younger adults who have experienced loss, terminal illness diagnosis or another ‘off-time’ life event may approach situations from a perspective of wisdom that results in decision-making more aligned with the wisdom we typically associate with older adults.”
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These 8 Habits Are Common Among ‘Old Souls,’ According to Psychologists
1. They wait to be contacted rather than reach out
“Old souls often wait to be contacted because they are careful not to intrude on others,” Dr. Panetta explains. “Since old souls are listening and receptive, though, people contact them. When they do, old souls don’t take what they hear at face value but continue listening for more information.”
2. They prioritize meaningful connections over surface-level connections
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According to Dr. Goldman, old souls tend to prioritize the quality of a connection over the quantity of connections, meaning they prefer meaningful, deep relationships with a few close friends rather than surface-level friendships with many.
“Old souls may prioritize close relationships due to wisdom of recognizing limited time horizon,” she explains, linking back to socioemotional selectivity theory (SST).
3. They “let sleeping dogs lie”
Old souls “don’t immediately challenge people’s perceptions,” per Dr. Panetta.
“As children, for example, they might refrain from arguing with other children about Santa Claus. As adults, they don’t provoke conflict just to show they’re right,” she explains. “They tend to recognize that people need to believe what they believe.”
4. They’re optimistic
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Dr. Goldman has observed old souls “championing the glass half full or optimistic outlook.”
“Research shows that agreeableness increases and neuroticism decreases in older adulthood,” she says.
A 2018 study published in the Journal of Personality had similar findings, concluding that personality changes like this are common in adults across all different cultures.
“In turn, old souls mirroring this life stage may demonstrate similar patterns,” says Dr. Goldman.
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5. They consider other people’s perspectives
“Old souls frequently put themselves in another’s shoes,” states Dr. Panetta. “This helps them see multiple sides of the same story and understand where other people are coming from. It also helps them receive feedback.”
If an old soul’s friend tells them, “You hurt my feelings,” the old soul “doesn’t become defensive, but instead [tries] to learn how it happened,” she explains.
6. They practice mindfulness
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According to Dr. Goldman, old souls are likely to practice mindfulness, as well as “experience gratitude for both positive and negative events.”
Similarly, she says that mindful old souls tend to look at experiences as teachable moments, which “lends itself toward remaining present in the here-and-now.”
7. They ask a lot of “why” questions—and they listen to the answers
As children, old souls tend to ask a lot of why questions, such as “Why are there trees?” says Dr. Panetta.
But as adults, old souls are curious in new ways, often seeking “to understand why people repeat the same mistakes again and again.” And from there, they tend to really listen to the answers.
“Old souls listen longer and more deeply,” she adds. “Because they sense there is more to every story, they wait before responding. They convey wisdom by speaking only when there is a window for something important to be heard.”
8. They put others’ needs ahead of their own
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“Because they are so aware of other people’s needs, it can be difficult for old souls to recognize and pursue their own desires,” explains Dr. Panetta.
This can be a double-edged sword.
“As children, they may become lonely, anxious or depressed about the complications of the world. As adolescents or young adults, they may become enmeshed in other people’s problems,” she adds. “By learning to recognize a wide variety of emotions in themselves and others without acting on them right away, they can learn to tolerate strong feelings more comfortably and then use those feelings to make positive choices.”
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Final Takeaways:
Being an old soul is associated with a number of emotionally intelligent and mindful habits.
Old souls are all about connection. They’d prefer a few deep connections rather than many shallow ones. Old souls are good listeners. They’re inquisitive and really listen when other people talk. Old souls consider other people’s feelings. They’re good at putting themselves in other people’s shoes and often put others’ desires ahead of their own.Up Next:
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Sources:
Dr. Cathryn Goldman, PsyD, is a a licensed clinical psychologist and an adjunct clinical supervisor at Yeshiva University. Dr. Carol M. Panetta, PsyD, is a psychologist and the President of the Boston Graduate School of Psychoanalysis. Carstensen, Laura. Socioemotional Selectivity Theory. ScienceDirect. Personality change across the lifespan: Insights from a cross-cultural longitudinal study (2018). Journal of Personality.Hence then, the article about psychologists say these 8 habits are common among old souls was published today ( ) and is available on Parade ( Saudi Arabia ) The editorial team at PressBee has edited and verified it, and it may have been modified, fully republished, or quoted. You can read and follow the updates of this news or article from its original source.
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