Ina Garten and her husband, Jeffrey Garten, have been married for 57 years, after tying the knot on December 22, 1968. However, just a few years into their marriage, the pair separated, and now, she’s opened up about what motivated the temporary split and her husband’s surprising reaction.
“I wanted the freedom to do whatever I wanted to do,” Ina said during the October 15 episode of “The Mel Robbins Podcast” while discussing the separation, which lasted for four months in the 1970s. “I also had never lived on my own. I really didn’t know who I was on my own. I went from my parents’ house to Jeffrey’s house, and I just felt like I needed to find out who I was on my own.”
On top of that, Ina felt like she was “neglecting” her relationship with Jeffrey. At the time, she was busy with her specialty food store, and his work saw him commuting from Washington, D.C. to the Hamptons.
Ina noted, “He would come to West Hampton on the weekends when I was the busiest, and then he would leave on Sunday night to go back just when I had a moment to breathe.”
When Ina explained to Jeffrey how she was feeling, he had an unexpected and encouraging reaction.
“He said the thing that was the most difficult to walk away from: ‘If you feel like you need to be on your own, you need to be on your own,'” Ina recalled. “Which made me just love him more, which was really hard. He wasn’t mad. He was incredibly empathetic.”
Ina ended up getting the freedom she desired while living in a “terrible little apartment” in New York as Jeffrey traveled for work. However, they stayed connected throughout their time apart.
“I kinda went down the rabbit hole and Jeffrey used to call and check on me, which was really lovely,” Ina said. “He didn’t try and solve the problem. He just gave me the access to surround myself with people that could help — and that’s what I did.”
She added, “I also knew that he was incredibly loving about the way he let me go through that process. It was really important for me to figure it out. I learned a lot about myself, and I learned a lot about him.”
That’s perhaps one of the reasons why, when they reconnected, she says, it was like “falling in love with this incredible guy who just happens to be [her] husband.”
She also mentioned that they discussed what they both wanted and realized that they had a few misconceptions about their relationship. As a result, they opted to move forward in a way that worked for them both, which meant that Ina would dedicate her work efforts to her New York store, The Barefoot Contessa, while Jeffrey traveled.
She pointed out that her marriage with her husband “doesn’t have to look like anybody else’s relationship,” noting, “All of it has to just work for you. It doesn’t matter what other people think.”
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