"When am I going to use this?" is probably what you thought to yourself as you completed your high school geometry or physics homework. And decades later, you may have learned the answer: Never, ever (or rarely). However, one child psychologist stresses that childhood and adolescence are critical periods of learning, and parents and grandparents play key roles in preparing children for the "real world.""As parents and grandparents, our role is not just to keep children safe and loved, but also to prepare them for the complexities of life," explains Dr. Amy Kincaid Todey, Ph.D., a child psychologist with Todey Psychology.She reports that specific life skills that caregivers can teach children lay a critical foundation for resilience, healthy relationships and long-term well-being. Unfortunately, these skills are often forgotten or glossed over. She reveals seven overlooked life skills parents and grandparents should teach their kids today, along with practical guidance on how to do so.Related: Child Psychologists Are Begging Parents and Grandparents to Never Turn a Blind Eye to These 10 Habits
Okay, responsibility isn't necessarily a surprising item on this list. Many parents and grandparents want to teach it to their kids. Yet, the underlying reason often overlooks the benefits to a child and prioritizes how responsibility supports society (aka the workforce)."Children develop a sense of belonging and significance when they feel they contribute meaningfully to their family," Dr. Todey says. "They realize that they are an important part of something that is much bigger than them."Yes, she does note that responsibility can benefit a child's eventual career because it helps them become team players at work. However, it also affects relationships with friends, family and themselves because responsibility supports bonds and builds self-esteem."Telling children that they matter is far less important than demonstrating their importance by including them in all aspects of family life," she shares.How to teach it:Dr. Todey suggests assigning age-appropriate chores, such as teaching a toddler to put away their toys or an older teen to mow the lawn. "Emphasize their role in keeping the family running," she explains. "Children will feel proud and competent when they learn to cook, set a table, clean a bathroom or take out the trash all on their own."
2. Empathy
Dr. Todey fears empathy is getting lost in a me-first society. However, she hails it as the cornerstone of emotional intelligence."It not only deepens personal relationships but also strengthens conflict resolution, negotiation and leadership skills in adulthood," she emphasizes. "Empathy is a skill that binds us together as human beings and is required for success across almost all aspects of life."How to teach it: Dr. Todeyreports that modeling is the best tool in your empathy-building toolbox. "Offering empathy to our children will not only support them in better understanding themselves and their own emotions but will reinforce skills that they can use to build their empathy for others as well," she shares. Phrases that exude empathy include "You are feeling really angry at me," “How do you think your friend felt when that happened?" and "I'm sorry." ""Apologizing when we lose our temper or hurt them in some way shows children that we are human too," she says. "We make mistakes, and we also care about how they feel and have the humility to take responsibility for hurting them."Related: 9 Empathic Phrases To Adopt To Be a Better Listener, According to a Psychologist
Helicopter parenting (hovering) or otherwise micromanaging a child or teen can negatively affect their independence—a key skill they'll need when they leave the nest, so to speak."Children need opportunities away from constant adult oversight to develop confidence, creativity and problem-solving skills," Dr. Todey points out. "Over-supervision can hinder self-trust and autonomy."How to teach it: Give your children age-appropriate ways to foster independence. "Allow children free play outside, sleepovers with friends or navigating safe spaces, like ordering food at a restaurant themselves," she says. "These small moments of independence build lifelong confidence."
4. Frustration tolerance and resilience
It's not easy to watch a child or grandchild struggle. However, Dr. Todey warns that snowplow parenting (removing obstacles)—while well-meaning—doesn't help a kid long-term. Instead, Dr. Todey emphasizes the importance of developing what psychologist Nassim Taleb refers to as "antifragile" kids."Children are naturally anti-fragile when given opportunities to face setbacks and recover. We must raise strong children, as they will have many challenges to face in the modern world," Dr. Todey explains.How to teach it: Keep your superhero cape under wraps—there's true power in a pause when you notice a child is frustrated, such as with a puzzle or their math homework. "Avoid rescuing too quickly and allow them to struggle," she suggests. "Instead of managing difficult situations for them, encourage problem-solving, normalize mistakes and reframe challenges as opportunities for growth." For instance, Dr. Todey says you might say, "What can we learn from this?" if a middle schooler forgot their water bottle at home on the 100th day of school (that you totally saw on your way out the door and made a conscious decision not to remind them to take it for the 100th day in a row).Related: Child Psychologists Are Begging Parents and Grandparents To Start Using This One Confidence-Boosting Phrase
Dr. Todey is concerned that our on-demand lifestyle is hindering self-control."In a world of constant stimulation, children need tools to manage impulses around screens, food and routines," she says.How to teach it: She recommends establishing family rhythms for sleep, exercise, balanced nutrition, time outside and tech-free moments—and ensure you (the adult) are also maintaining these healthy habits. "When you notice that your children are not feeling their best because of less disciplined choices, help them make this connection for themselves so that they can develop mindfulness," she adds.
6. Healthy relationship skills
Humans are social, connected creatures and Dr. Todey reports that healthy relationships are one of the strongest predictors of well-being throughout a person's life."Children have to learn skills to accept responsibility, forgive—even when it doesn’t seem like other people deserve it—and move forward in relationships," she says.How to teach it: Dr. Todey suggests a show-over-tell approach. "Model respectful communication by showing children what it looks like to listen attentively, make eye contact and respond without interrupting," she notes.She also recommends teaching conflict-resolution skills by honoring their own feelings with "I feel" statements, while balancing the need to consider others' perspectives."Teach them to prioritize compromise, communication and problem-solving rather than blame or avoidance," she suggests.
Even when a child seems to have these life skills down, the learning never stops. A knack for curiosity can help kids embrace a lifelong yearning to learn. "Curiosity fuels motivation, creativity and adaptability in a rapidly changing world," Dr. Todey shares. "Children who ask questions and seek answers become adults who innovate and thrive in uncertainty."How to teach it: She suggests encouraging exploration and hobbies—and try to answer the questions they ask you with curiosity, rather than dismissal (and wow, do kids ask a lot of questions—if you know, you know). For instance, she suggests responding with phrases like, "Let's find that out together.""Value the process of learning over perfection," she notes, adding that consistently reading to or with a kid can also instill the idea that learning is joyful.Related: A Developmental Psychologist Is Begging Parents and Grandparents To Stop Giving Kids This Type of Toy
3 Tips for Reducing Frustration While Teaching Life Skills to Kids
1. Set developmentally-appropriate expectations
Children, tweens and teens are not mini adults. "Frustration often comes from expecting kids to act older than they are," Dr. Todey reminds caregivers. "A toddler’s meltdown or a teen’s forgetfulness is not a character flaw. It’s part of normal development."She shares that learning age-appropriate expectations is a good baseline, but kids develop at different paces and in short bursts."When you know what’s realistic, you can meet them with empathy instead of irritation," she notes. "Children will do well if they can, and they need us to walk beside them on their growing-up journey."
It's easy to become so consumed with the important job of raising the next generation of humans that we forget about ourselves."Exhausted, stressed adults are more likely to lose their cool," Dr. Todey says. "Children self-regulate around their parents’ nervous systems. This means that when parents or grandparents are stressed, so are their children. When parents’ needs are met, they are more able to co-regulate with their children."She recommends maintaining routine self-care, which serves as a proactive tool for coping with stress and preventing "adult meltdowns.""Sleep, nutrition and exercise are not luxuries for parents and grandparents—they’re the foundation of patience," she highlights.
3. Reframe perspective and find humor
Dr. Todey notes that humor and perspective lower stress, preventing minor issues from feeling like steep mountains. She loves the phrase, "This is a season—not forever."When all else fails, try to laugh it out."Laugh together with your children when possible—spilled milk isn’t a disaster, it’s a chance to teach cleaning up," she says. "Keeping perspective helps shift from frustration to connection and keeps everyone’s nervous system in check... Patience grows when adults see challenges as teachable moments rather than catastrophes."Up Next:
Related: People Who Were 'Coddled' as Children Often Develop These 11 Traits as Adults, Psychologists Say
Source:
Dr. Amy Kincaid Todey, Ph.D., child psychologist with Todey Psychology.Hence then, the article about 7 often overlooked life skills that parents and grandparents should teach kids a child psychologist warns was published today ( ) and is available on Parade ( Saudi Arabia ) The editorial team at PressBee has edited and verified it, and it may have been modified, fully republished, or quoted. You can read and follow the updates of this news or article from its original source.
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