I was in a book shop the other day browsing the self-help section when The 5 AM Club by Robin Sharma caught my eye. Sharma’s morning routine centres around a 60 minute ‘Victory Hour’ dedicating the first hour of the day – which starts at 5am if you’re Sharma – to ‘move, reflect and grow’. Specifically, this means a bout of ‘vigorous movement’, then meditation or journalling to set intentions for the day, and then reviewing your goals – all before the sunrise.
Mel Robbins, another self-care guru advises that you get out of bed, go to the mirror and give yourself a high five. This helps us practice self love and results in us knowing our own strength apparently.
Another book entitled – ‘Make Your Bed,’ by Admiral William H. McRaven advocates… you guessed it… making your bed right away because you will then have accomplished something, and it will give you a sense of pride (I haven’t read the book because the title seems pretty self explanatory).
There is so much emphasis on morning routines being the secret to success and wealth. Maybe that is why celebrities love telling us about their routines so much. One of Gwyneth Paltrow’s favourite morning smoothies includes almond milk, almond butter, coconut oil, vanilla mushroom powder, ashwagandha, vanilla powder, Himalayan sea salt, he shou wu, cordyceps and a teaspoon of ‘moon dust of choice.’
Kris Jenner, Queen of the Kardashian empire likes to rise at 4am so she can be exercising by 4.30. I guess the implication is that if we emulate the habits of people who are rich and successful then we will become more like them.
But starting the day by making smoothies, writing down intentions, meditating, engaging in vigorous exercise whilst high-fiving yourself just sounds overwhelming and tiring to me. I sometimes feel like our mornings have been hijacked by influencers, celebrities and self-help gurus.
What about waking up and lying in bed for an hour contemplating lost loves or embarrassing moments? Or making a coffee, returning to bed and catching up on who is ignoring you on social media? Or just doing nothing for a bit?
My ideal morning is one where I get up when I wake up (I am an early riser -having kids and the menopause does that to you), feed the cats, unload the dishwasher (my intention of the day is to empty it, I like to start small). I then sit on the sofa and stare into space.
I scroll quite a bit so I get as much time on my phone as I can before the children see me and realise that I am addicted to scrolling. At some point I might head to the local gym. But this is mainly to stave off a panic attack more than anything else. Movement is definitely beneficial if you’re a chronic over-thinker like me.
square COMMUTING I can’t afford to commute anymore - transport costs me £50 a day
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I’ve noticed that the super productive morning people sharing their routines on social media don’t seem to have children. Or pets. Or any responsibilities actually. For a mum with a newborn the idea of getting up even earlier to do all this stuff is impossible. For those who work on shifts and get home in the early hours, like a good friend of mine who is a nurse; what is she supposed to do? High five herself as she rolls into bed?
Of course mornings are a good time for a fresh start. A good time also to promise yourself you won’t vape or text that person but I wish people would ease up on making out that if we just nail this part of our day, then our lives will be more worthwhile. Can we stop glorifying productivity from the moment our eyes ping open?
When I was a kid my dad would get up (late) and for the first hour of the day he wouldn’t speak. He would simply walk from room to room, like a dazed toddler with a pint of black coffee in his hand. After about an hour he would smoke his pipe in the garden, usually mumbling something nonsensical to the dog.
Around 11.30 he would start stringing full sentences together. We teased him about his terrible mood first thing, but loved him for it. Dad has passed away now, but I can’t help thinking how much he’d laugh at these 5am peeps – all the hopes, dreams, routines- the notion that if your morning is perfect you will achieve all you desire. “Give me a couple more hours,” he’d mumble if we tried to engage him in conversation. “I need more coffee. What’s the big rush anyway?”
4 ways to have the right morning for youAnna Mathur is a Psychotherapist and Author of ‘The Good Decision Diary,’ and offered up some realistic advice on our morning routines:
The best morning routine isn’t a checklist or a self-care marathon, it’s simply to ask yourself (if you enjoy or find that morning routines boost you) ‘what do I need most today?’
2. Think about what works for you
Some mornings you might opt for movement, others it’s permission to climb back into bed with toast. When we stop imitating other people’s habits and start responding to our own needs, we build routines that actually work for us.
If you opt for a morning routine, have a range of options and do what suits your energy levels and resources that day. If you’re someone who likes a plan, have a plan but it should be something that nurtures or energises you, not a performance. A 5am start one day might feel amazing, whereas if you’re exhausted and run down or just need more rest, it will deplete you further.
4. Beware the influencers
Get better at doing your own thing. It might take some time to start tuning into what it is that you actually need if you’ve outsourced that voice to others, but think about what works for you as opposed to what works for others.
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