Molly Ringwald and her husband Piano Gianopoulos have kept their marriage strong for almost 20 years, and it’s all due to some very important rules they stick to. The Pretty in Pink star, who said “I do” to her spouse in 2007, revealed that when it comes to “taking care” of the relationship, communication is a major factor.
“I think the secret is to make sure that you take care of your relationship, to communicate,” the 58-year-old told PEOPLE in a new interview.
Ringwald, who shares three children with Gianopoulos, including daughter Mathilda, 23, and twins Adele and Roman, 17, also said it’s “how you fight” that matters most. “I always tell my kids, it’s not worrying about whether or not you fight, it’s how you fight,” she continued. “Something we always keep in mind is treating each other with respect, not speaking to each other ever with contempt, no name-calling.”
“You can say, ‘You’re acting like a blah, blah, blah right now,’ but you can’t say, ‘You are a blah, blah, blah,’ “ she added. “We also stay away from the word ‘always.’ Don’t say, ‘You always do this,’ or, ‘You always do that.’ ”“It’s all work, but hopefully it pays off,” Ringwald also said, comparing a successful long-term relationship to a garden. “If you water it and fertilize it, and if you give it everything that it needs, I think if it’s the right person, it flourishes.”
Ringwald and Gianopoulos met online and started dating in the early 2000s, after the former separated from her first husband, Valéry Lameignère, to whom she was married from 1999 to 2002. They started off chatting about books with friends in an online literary salon and eventually met in person.
In 2011, Ringwald looked back on her first date with Gianopoulos, a trained martial artist, in an essay for Parade. Her future spouse ended up making her tzatziki with garlic for the special moment, and she found herself questioning whether it actually was a date. Luckily, it was, and the pair tied the knot in a private ceremony in 2007 and had their first child in October 2003, and their twins in July 2009.
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