It's a fact of life: Not everyone will like you, and you can't please everyone. However, some people are frequently labeled "difficult to be around," often in settings like work, friendships and even intimate relationships. And this isn't a case of just paranoia that everyone's mean to you; it's more of a lack of self-awareness about how their actions and words come off that makes them so difficult for others to be around.Words play a significant role in whether or not people deem you as a drain to be around or not. This could come as a surprise for some, since we often hear that "actions speak louder than words," and "it's not what you say but how you say it." But make no mistake: words do matter. If you say certain things regularly, people may think you're difficult to be around and even unlikable."Although some words may be viewed as fillers, every word in a sentence contains meaning that can hit us viscerally," reports Dr. Michele Leno, Ph.D., a licensed psychologist and host of Mind Matters with Dr. Michele. "Positive people add value while negative people take away from it. A persistently negative person could project their own fears and anxiety onto you, making them difficult to be around."To help, psychologists revealed seven phrases that can make people think you're difficult to be around, and how to develop an internal filter.Related: 8 Behaviors That Instantly Reveal Someone Has Low Emotional Intelligence, Psychologists Say
7 Phrases That Can Make People Think You're Difficult To Be Around, Psychologists Say
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2. "It's time to get over it."
This phrase is nails on a chalkboard, and Dr. Leno notes that people usually say it when they can't handle someone else's feelings. "They relate too little or too much to [a] situation," she explains. "It's difficult to be around a person who attempts to 'time's up' your emotional process."
4. "You wouldn’t understand."
This phrase is also often uttered from a soapbox. One psychologist notes that comments like this can come across as condescending and make others feel you're talking down to them."Communicating with an attitude of superiority and that others are beneath you or ‘couldn’t possibly understand' something that you do is difficult to be around," saysDr. Brandy Smith, Ph.D., a licensed psychologist with Thriveworks.Related: 11 Blame Tactics People Use Without Realizing It
6. "I’m just being honest."
Dr. Lira de la Rosa shares that this phrase is often used as a follow-up to blunt or poorly-timed communication. Honesty can build trust. However, what you say and how (and when) you say something all add up, for better or worse."Honesty without relational awareness can function more like criticism, especially when it is not grounded in care for the impact on the other person," he warns.
1. Tolerate discomfort before responding
In a world of texting and various messengers, it's natural to feel pressed to respond immediately. However, that can often lead you to say things that land you on the "difficult to be around" list."A lot of interpersonal trouble comes from reacting too quickly," Dr. Lira de la Rosa explains. "When someone says something that lands awkwardly or feels critical, the urge is to defend, explain or shut it down."It's an urge worth fighting."Giving yourself even a brief pause allows emotions to settle and makes it more likely you will respond in a way that keeps the conversation open rather than escalating it," he notes.
3. Consider impact, not just intent
Sometimes, "difficult" people say things out of good intentions. Unfortunately, that's not enough."From a psychological perspective, relationships break down when people focus only on what they meant instead of how their words landed," Dr. Lira de la Rosa states. "Being willing to hear that something was hurtful, even when it was not intended that way, builds trust. It signals emotional maturity and makes others feel safer being honest with you."Up Next:
Related: 8 Signs You're Actually Too Critical of Your Partner, Psychologists Warn
Sources:
Dr. Michele Leno, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist and host of Mind Matters with Dr. Michele.Dr. Ernesto Lira de la Rosa, Ph.D., is a psychologist and Hope for Depression Research Foundation media advisor.Dr. Brandy Smith, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist with Thriveworks.Hence then, the article about if you say these 7 things regularly people may think you re difficult to be around psychologists warn was published today ( ) and is available on Parade ( Saudi Arabia ) The editorial team at PressBee has edited and verified it, and it may have been modified, fully republished, or quoted. You can read and follow the updates of this news or article from its original source.
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