As Britney Spears responded to Kevin Federline’s alarming portrait of her mental state and alleged drug use in his new memoir, she said her young adult sons should “take responsibility” for the “complex” relationship she has with them and the fact that she has not seen much of them in the past five years, saying the situation has left her “demoralized.”
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The beleaguered 43-year-old pop star said that relationships “with teenage boys is complex.” She lamented that she has seen one son for only 45 minutes in the past five years, while she has only seen the other for four visits during the same time period. “They need to take responsibility for themselves,” Spears said. “I have pride too. From now on, I will let me know when I am available.”
In recent years, Spears has expressed interest in repairing her relationship with her sons and has published social media posts about them spending time together. But by her own admission, that time together has been pretty limited.
WESTWOOD, CA - JULY 28: Singer Britney Spears and Sean Federline attend the premiere of Columbia Pictures' 'Smurfs 2' at Regency Village Theatre on July 28, 2013 in Westwood, California. (Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images)Spears’ emotional, angry statement also accused Federline of “gaslighting her” and comes the day after the New York Times first shared some disturbing allegations about her behavior, which are coming in his memoir, “You Thought You Knew.,” out on Oct. 21.
An initial headline-grabbing allegation has to do with why Sean Preston and Jayden James were supposedly wary of being around their mother.
“They would awaken sometimes at night to find her standing silently in the doorway, watching them sleep — ‘Oh, you’re awake?’ — with a knife in her hand,” Federline writes, according to the New York Times. “Then she’d turn around and pad off without explanation.”
But a new allegation from the book surfaced Thursday about Spears’ parenting — that she allegedly did cocaine while she was still breastfeeding her sons, Us Weekly reported. Federline writes how he walked in on Spears and a young actress friend doing cocaine at the 2006 release party for his album, “Playing With Fire.” Their sons were 13 months and 1 month old at the time, and Federline asked her not to go home and nurse them. An allegedly angry Spears threw a cocktail in his face.
LOS ANGELES, CA - APRIL 17: In this handout photo provided by the LA Dodgers, Britney Spears poses with sons Sean Preston Federline (L) and Jayden James Federline (R) during agame against the San Diego Padres at Dodger Stadium on April 17, 2013 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Jon SooHoo/LA Dodgers via Getty Images)“That was the proverbial final straw, the breast-feeding thing. Her reaction,” he writes, Us Weekly reported. “That’s what ended us.” After Federline asked his lawyer to draft a legal letter, demanding she stop breast-feeding them, Spears responded by having her lawyer draft divorce papers.
Federline told the New York Times that he was never “against” his ex-wife, and he only ever wanted her to have an “incredible relationship” with their sons, but her allegedly erratic behavior made them not want to stay at her house.
For the former backup dancer, the book also serves as his way to sound the alarm about his ex-wife’s mental health — when there is not the kind of oversight that was provided by a strict conservatorship that a Los Angeles judge terminated in 2021.
“It’s become impossible to pretend everything’s OK,” Federline writes in his book, though he acknowledged to the New York Times that he has not spoken to his ex-wife in years. “From where I sit, the clock is ticking, and we’re getting close to the 11th hour. Something bad is going to happen if things don’t change, and my biggest fear is that our sons will be left holding the pieces.”
Federline’s book also has grabbed headlines for alleging that Spears cheated on him with a woman early in their relationship, while they were on tour in Amsterdam, according to People. It also alleges that she was using drugs and alcohol and prone to angry outbursts near the end of their marriage, the New York Times reported.
Federline, a self-described “teen knucklehead” from Fresno, began dating Spears in 2004 after she had become a pop superstar with hits like “Baby One More Time” and “Oops! … I Did It Again.” They wed that same year but their marriage immediately faced intense media scrutiny, as they welcomed two children and as Spears’ personal problems began to emerge.
They were only married for two years before Spears filed for divorce, and the two fought a bitter battle over custody. During that time, Spears went into rehab but checked herself out the next day. Federline’s book details the “bizarre” moments leading up to her infamously shaving her head at a salon near their family home. After Spears checked herself out of rehab, she turned up outside the home, ringing the bell to the gate, “shouting things that didn’t make sense” and demanding to be let in, Federaline writes, according to Page Six.
At the time, the boys were 2 and 1, and Federline didn’t think they should see their mother in this condition, Page Six reported. “Then she started climbing the front gate,” he adds. “I stayed inside with the kids, trying to keep things calm.”
Federaline’s book also describes the evening in early January 2008 when Spears was rushed to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center and placed under a 72-hour involuntary psychiatric hold following a three-hour standoff involving their children, the New York Times reported.
“It was one of the hardest nights of my life,” Federline writes, according to the Times. “I felt sick over what she was going through. This was someone I had loved. Someone I had built a life with. The mother of my children.”
Soon thereafter, Spears was placed under a controversial conservatorship, managed by her father, Jamie Spears, which allowed him to oversee her personal and professional finances and her medical care. A Los Angeles judge terminated the conservatorship in 2021,
In her social media statement, Spears rejected Federline’s “white lies” in his book and the image of herself as an erratic mother, saying, “I will always love them.” She also said: “If you really know me, you won’t pay attention to the tabloids of my mental health and drinking. I am actually a pretty intelligent woman who has been trying to live a sacred and private life the past years. I speak on this because I have had enough and any real woman would do the same.”
A spokesperson for Spears also issued a statement, accusing Federline and others of “profiting off her.” The spokesperson noted that the book “sadly … comes out after child support has ended with Kevin.” The spokesperson moreover reminded the public that Spears has detailed her personal journey in her 2023 memoir, “The Woman in Me,” which is being made into a movie. In that book, Spears disputed that she ever had significant substance abuse issues and characterized her custody battle with Federline as traumatizing, the New York Times said.
“All she cares about are her kids, Sean Preston and Jayden James, and their well-being during this sensationalism,” Spears spokesperson said.
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