Chef Jamie Oliver‘s wife, Jools Oliver, is opening up about the emotional toll of living with undiagnosed autism and ADHD for decades, admitting that not understanding her neurodivergence left her feeling exhausted.
Jools, 51, discussed her diagnoses on the Lessons From Our Mothers podcast, explaining that she spent much of her life believing something else was responsible for her struggles.
“For me, I think it’s quite draining. I think it’s tiring. And I think it’s actually ruined, well I’m 51, so far 45 years of my life thinking it’s something else. It’s no superpower, it’s just drain and it’s really hard work,” she said, according to the Mirror.
The mother of five said one of her children received an autism diagnosis four years ago, prompting her to consider whether she might be autistic, too.
“So, then I thought ‘my God, that sounds like me’. So I went for that and I’ve got that as well,” she explained.
Although learning more about her brain has helped her make sense of her experiences, Jools admitted that the process has also been overwhelming.
Why an ADHD Diagnosis Can Bring Mixed Emotions
View this post on InstagramReceiving a diagnosis later in life can change how someone understands themselves, particularly after years of struggling to explain certain experiences.
Sharon Saline, Psy.D., a psychologist who specializes in ADHD, explains that many adults with ADHD have spent years feeling as though they are simultaneously “too much” and “not enough.”
“Getting an ADHD diagnosis can be a tremendous relief. Suddenly, it explains struggles that may have confused you for years,” Saline says. “But understanding yourself doesn’t automatically erase the shame or criticism you’ve experienced.”
According to Saline, people with ADHD may have spent years being criticized for difficulties with attention, sensitivity, or following through on responsibilities. Over time, those experiences can affect their self-esteem and make them worry that others will judge them for their diagnosis.
“Shame develops when ‘I struggle with certain things’ becomes ‘There’s something wrong with me,’” she explains.
For someone who has spent decades wondering why certain aspects of life feel difficult, a diagnosis can provide answers while also bringing up complicated feelings about the past.
Jools Oliver Opens Up About Medication Fears
View this post on InstagramJools also revealed that she has medication available to manage her ADHD but is hesitant to take it because of her health anxiety.
“I’ve got the medication but I don’t want to take it because I’m scared – due to health anxiety – that something will happen,” she said, adding that it remains “an ongoing situation.”
Saline notes that misconceptions about ADHD can contribute to the anxiety people feel about disclosing their diagnosis. Some people mistakenly associate the condition with laziness, irresponsibility or a lack of discipline, rather than recognizing the challenges involved in managing its symptoms.
Those fears can make people reluctant to share their diagnosis, even with people they trust.
However, Saline says opening up to supportive friends, family members or colleagues can create opportunities for greater understanding and connection. Sharing a diagnosis may help loved ones recognize that difficulties with remembering things or following through do not necessarily mean someone does not care.
At the same time, she emphasizes that people do not owe everyone an explanation of their diagnosis.
“Having ADHD is one part of who you are, not the whole picture and certainly not the definition of your worth,” Saline says.
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