Why Meal-Planning Is My Favorite Relationship Ritual ...Middle East

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Why Meal-Planning Is My Favorite Relationship Ritual

For several years, my partner and I approached weekday meals rather unromantically. We meal-prepped the same thing every Sunday: oven-roasted chicken thighs and an array of veggies, which we would then pick through for lunch. Dinners, too, were about efficiency: easy-to-cook meals that largely consisted of simple ingredients, like a pesto pasta or salmon and rice. It wasn't that we weren't into food - we loved discovering new restaurants and eating out on the weekends - but when it came to weeknight dinners, we were all about optimization. (He did make me pour-over coffee and breakfast every morning, though, which was a daily reminder of his love.)

When we broke up in 2023, everything changed. I kept cooking with the easiest route in mind, often opting to "assemble" things like a cheese plate or a salad versus cook anything substantial. Meanwhile, he turned to batch recipes - he made a one-pot sausage, tomato, and ricotta pasta almost every week.

    A year later, we got back together (phew!) and eventually moved back in together. And something shifted yet again. A new kind of routine was born, and it's become one of my favorite rituals of our relationship.

    Meal-planning, cooking, and sharing meals together is, when you think about it, a huge part of any partnership. From dinner as a first date to creating a routine as a family, it's a main way partners come together - or get torn apart. One survey, as People reports, found that that two in five respondents said a lack of "food compatibility" would be a relationship deal-breaker for them. And as nutritionist Marjorie Nolan Cohn previously told Popsugar, "Navigating nutrition together is intimacy at its core. Sharing food is a sixth love language if you think about it."

    Just as our relationship has evolved, so have my partner's and my meal-planning habits. And I'm happy to report that the latest iteration of our routine is my favorite so far. Here's where we're at - and how meal-planning, prepping, and cooking together certainly became a love language for me.

    How My Partner and I Meal-Plan

    My partner and I used to approach meal-planning lazily; we typically just picked up our usual haul at the grocery store. But in the past year, we fundamentally changed our approach: now, before our weekly grocery shop, we'll each pick out a recipe we want to try. We send the recipe to each other for approval, and then we add the ingredients to our grocery list. I appreciate that we are equally contributing to the mental load that is meal prep, a burden that often falls more heavily on women.

    It also inspires greater creativity in us both. We approach our weekly recipe hunt like a hobby, trying to one-up our favorite dishes and finding a balance between both of our tastes (I tend to prefer vegetarian meals; he tends toward comfort food). We've invested in cookbooks and send each other videos on Instagram, so instead of becoming a source of conflict, the process actually makes meal-planning feel like a team sport.

    How Cooking and Meal Time Has Evolved

    Perhaps because our world is so inundated with the digital, I now very much look forward to the breaks in my day where I can cook. It's a tactile, off-screen activity that allows me to shut off my brain a bit - truly a form of self-care. Other times, we'll cook together and make a date night of it, or my partner will take over if I'm busy. And if one of us cooks, the other does the cleaning.

    Now that we're putting time and energy into our dinners, they've taken on a new kind of importance. Five years ago, we'd eat asynchronously or quickly. Nowadays, we genuinely enjoy taking our time to eat the meal that we'd planned, shopped for, and cooked together. We debrief what we like and don't like about it, and discuss whether or not it'll be a repeat. It's a time of the day where we can come together, no distractions (unless we're in the midst of bingeing a TV show . . . then, eating in front of the TV feels like a real treat). So far, our favorite recipes have included tofu taco bowls, chicken and white bean stew (perfect for fall!), and Thai chicken salad.

    I will say, we're both routine-oriented people, and I have plenty of friends who would prefer deciding what they're eating minutes before heading to the grocery store to pick up the ingredients. But for two fairly Type A people, this approach works well for us. And the fact that we're contributing in an equitable way means that a chore that could quickly generate resentment is actually a chance to bond.

    No, we did not turn into Michelin-starred chefs in the last year. But I'm proud of us for evolving our basic, boring meal-planning routine into something that brings us more joy. And I'm grateful that some things - namely, him making me coffee and an egg every morning - have stayed the same.

    Related: How Women Food Creators Find Joy at Every Meal Lena Felton (she/her) is a senior director of special projects at PS, where she oversees sponsored packages, tentpole projects, and editorial partnerships. Previously, she was an editor at The Washington Post, where she led a team covering issues of gender and identity. She has been working in journalism since 2017, during which time her focus has been feature writing and editing and elevating historically underrepresented voices. Lena has worked for The Atlantic, InStyle, So It Goes, and more.

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