And then a hero comes along… — Mariah Carey
Wednesday afternoon, I took my three kids back-to-school shopping. Three separate women in the store exclaimed that I was “a hero.” How did they know my secret identity? I wasn’t wearing my spandex bodysuit or even my cape!
They must have witnessed my heroics in the parking lot before we entered the store. I grabbed the purse snatcher by the collar with one hand and returned the stolen item to the victim with the other.
I then halted a speeding eighteen-wheeler with my outstretched arm just before it ran over the stray kitten.
Before I helped my children with a mundane task that basically every child has to do every single year, I also rescued a baby from a car fire and saved the elderly gentleman from a falling tree trunk. All in a day’s work for yours truly.
But holy shopping for composition notebooks and pencil pouches! How did my fellow shoppers know? Even with my super eyesight, I didn’t see them until we were standing before an array of number 2 pencils. Obviously, they must have witnessed my strength and bravery in those parking lot feats! Why else would they bestow me with such compliments? Surely, it is not laudatory to be an adult male responsible for the basic care of young people. It can’t be “heroic” to be one-half of a functioning co-parenting relationship, which means checking off the unglamorous yet necessary things on the to-do list.
Are men, in general, and husbands, in particular, really so disengaged from the daily chores of unpaid childcare and home life that any effort they make is considered worthy of effusive praise? People complain that kids receive participation trophies but then turn around and hand them out to dads with a freaking gold medal. Unholy double standard!
Once I paid for the school supplies like any other mortal, I lifted my children onto my back, picked up their school supplies, and flew up, up, and away like a bird or a plane.
Andrew Taylor-Troutman is the author of the book with Wipf and Stock Publishers titled This Is the Day: A Year of Observing Unofficial Holidays about Ampersands, Bobbleheads, Buttons, Cousins, Hairball Awareness, Humbugs, Serendipity, Star Wars, Teenagers, Tenderness, Walking to School, Yo-Yos, and More. He lives in Chapel Hill, North Carolina where he is a student of joy.
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