By Charlotte Reck, CNN
(CNN) — Sandra Bullock has opened up about the loss of her partner Bryan Randall and his private battle with neurodegenerative disease ALS.
“I wasn’t allowed to speak about it,” Bullock said, referencing Randall’s diagnosis. “That was the request and I tried — I honored it,” she told the “SmartLess” podcast, hosted by Jason Bateman, Will Arnett and Sean Hayes, in an early access episode released this week.
Randall died in 2023 aged 57.
Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, known as ALS or Lou Gehrig’s disease, affects the nerve cells in the brain and spinal cord that make the muscles of both the upper and lower body work.
People with the condition lose control of muscle movement, eventually losing their ability to eat, speak, walk and, ultimately, breathe.
“I know why he asked me not (to),” she said of Randall’s request to keep his illness quiet, sharing that especially during the global Covid-19 pandemic, bearing the weight of the diagnosis “isolated me in the process.”
The Oscar-winner revealed that her sister, Gesine Bullock-Prado, was the only person who knew about Randall’s diagnosis “for a while,” but the actress chose to confide in close friends Jennifer Aniston and Bateman’s wife Amanda Anka later.
“I started grieving Bryan four years before he passed,” Bullock said, adding that he “was ill for half of our relationship.”
Bullock went public with her relationship with Randall, a model-turned-photographer, in 2015. The couple co-parented Bullock’s son Louis and daughter Laila, as well as Randall’s daughter from a previous relationship, Skylar Staten Randall.
“My person left a lot earlier than the body left,” Bullock said, adding, “I don’t think I ever dealt with that until after he passed, because you’re just on this treadmill.”
Little is known about the causes of the disease, and there is no cure. The condition is slightly more common in men than women.
Bullock recalled the experience of caring for Randall and their family during the difficult time.
“You have to quietly plan. And I’m a very good planner with illness,” she said, adding that her father had “horrible accidents” and her mother had cancer.
“It doesn’t scare me — not the illness itself, it doesn’t scare me. I can see and be around just about anything,” she said. “But I had two young kids that were navigating it, especially a little girl who saw (Randall) as a father figure.”
She praised her children and expressed gratitude for the four “incredible” nurses who helped her care for Randall.
Earlier this year, Bullock told People that after losing Randall she focused on healing, comforting her children and ensuring she and her family were “in the best possible place” before she returned to work.
Bullock has spent much of this summer promoting “Practical Magic 2,” due in theaters next month. The highly-anticipated sequel to the 1998 movie sees Bullock reprising the role of Sally Owens in the romantic fantasy film about a multi-generational family of witches.
Bullock’s episode of “SmartLess” will be available on all podcast platforms on August 24.
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