Jeez, what is wrong with us that we would react with such suspicion to the perfectly innocent idea from that paragon of integrity and virtue, Gianni Infantino, that a chunk of Fifa be spun off to a bunch of profit-orientated investors, led by the brother of Donald Trump’s son-in-law?
I mean, how could we possibly be a little sceptical about the relationship between them when Gianni gave Donald the inaugural peace prize, and Gianni waived the red card that had been waved at the US striker, Folarin Balogun, after Donald intervened? Surely that is the mark of a true rules-based body – doing favours for buddies. You scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours.
We must all be haters. And why do I say that? Because just a few days ago the Fifa president rounded on anyone who was critical of some aspects of this World Cup.
“To those behind their pens and papers, behind their screens spreading hate and false rumours,” he said, “I want to say that while you are sitting behind, we at Fifa are on the front lines organising, working hard, and delivering the best show in the world. We experienced no violence, no incidents, 100 per cent safety and security, only joy and happiness.”
As I sit behind my screen, let me throw up my hand and say if legitimate criticism in Gianni’s mind is the same as spreading hate, then I am guilty as charged. And to compound my crime, I am going to be critical AGAIN of this madcap scheme to sell off a chunk of Fifa to a group of moneymen who can only see dollar signs.
So let’s start at the beginning. What Gianni wants to do is create a separate company called Fifa Forward Enterprise – FFE – (or FFS as it will surely be dubbed). Fifa would potentially raise billions from these investors, who, in turn, would look at ways to see a return on their capital outlay. Or to use the jargon “sweat the asset”. Except that the asset is the World Cup, and that is something that belongs to all of us. Surely it isn’t for sale, any more than the Olympic Games are for sale.
But what would sweating the asset look like? Well obviously it would mean ensuring that nations like China and India qualify in future – because look at the value of those ginormous markets. And you wouldn’t allow a situation to arise – like in this World Cup – where one of the great footballing nations, Italy, failed to qualify. You would somehow fix it that all the teams you wanted were there.
Then there’s regularity. It’s thought this World Cup is likely to have netted Fifa some $15bn (£11bn) in revenue. That’s a lot of cash, and for a bunch of investors that are being envisaged for this project a glorious, never exhausted goldmine.
But then why have the World Cup only once every four years? That’s dumb. Why not hold it every two years? Or even annually. Think of the ROI (return on investment) that would bring. Except, of course, where would this leave tournaments like the Euros, which is run by Uefa? Or indeed the Africa Cup of Nations? What would it do to players who are already seeing a rise in injuries because of overpacked schedules and congested fixture lists?
Infantino is trying to railroad this through and has given international federations until September to give an answer. Under this scheme the Fifa president would become the commissioner of FFE, rather like Roger Goodell, the commissioner of the NFL in the States. To misquote Mrs Merton: “Gianni, what first attracted you to the Roger Goodell model, who earns $64m (£47.5m) a year?”
And remember, in American football, there is no relegation for the worst-performing teams to a lower division. Or promotion. Once you have the franchise for the Washington Commanders, or the New England Patriots, you are there forever. Do we want national football teams to become franchises?
It is easy to go all misty-eyed at this point and talk about when football was a sport for everyone, and you stood on the terraces with your rattle and scarf. You didn’t have corporate boxes with all those knobs eating canapes and drinking champagne. Football was proper working class. But of course football has changed, and it is right to look at ways of involving more nations. As I wrote here a week or so ago this was a World Cup that will be remembered (mostly) for what happened on the field.
But it was a World Cup that priced most ordinary fans out of the market, with Fifa’s exorbitant rates and dynamic pricing. Not to mention the blatant politic interference, the treatment of the Iran team – and were those hydration breaks really about players’ wellbeing or creating more space for advertising?
Sure, look at expanding to 64 teams. But turning the World Cup into a new asset for the super-rich? No. This needs to be a shown a red card – with no possibility of it being rescinded.
And the 55-nation Uefa federation has done exactly that. They have agreed that if Infantino presses ahead with this, the European nations will boycott future World Cups – indeed, all Fifa competitions. Imagine that. No France. No Spain. No England. No Scotland drinking the host nation dry. No Norwegian oarsmen. No Portugal featuring Ronaldo with a Zimmer frame. No Germany. No Italy.
Maybe, Gianni, it’s time to show some humility and admit that you might have got this one wrong. Though that may be a stretch.
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