"Rise and grind." "I'll sleep when I'm dead." "I'm the first one in the office and the last one to leave." "I work 60-hour weeks." For generations, these phrases have doubled as descriptors of people with a strong work ethic. They were "good employees." To say them truthfully was a badge of honor. Then, buzzwords like "sleep-maxxing" and "work-life harmony" entered the chat, which one psychologist says was absolutely necessary. She thinks it's past time to understand that some "lazy" habits actually signal high emotional intelligence (aka EQ or EI), including an awareness that helps you develop strong emotional regulation habits (and the ability to show empathy for others).
"Not everything that looks like laziness is actually a lack of motivation," Dr. Mindy DeSeta, Ph.D., a Miami-based psychologist and relationship therapist, tells Parade. "Sometimes people are protecting their time, energy or mental health by setting healthy limits."
Yet, Dr. DeSeta understands how hard it is to decondition ourselves. For years, our employers, society and (recently) social media influences have worshiped at the altar of "burning-the-midnight-oil." She says it's valuable to learn the difference between "laziness" and "emotional intelligence," if only to protect our own peace and capacity.
"Understanding that difference helps us avoid judging ourselves or others too harshly," she explains. "It also encourages healthier work habits instead of constant guilt. Rest and boundaries can make someone more productive, not less."
Here, Dr. DeSeta reveals seven "lazy" habits that are actually signs of high EQ. She also shares tips for developing and maintaining the top habits of emotionally intelligent people.
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"Hustle culture" is a term that gets thrown around a lot, and Dr. DeSeta says it perpetuates many myths about what defines "laziness."
"The hustle culture myth is the idea that your worth depends on how busy or productive you are. It sends the message that working nonstop is something to admire, even when it's hurting your health or relationships," she explains. "Many people start believing that slowing down means they're falling behind. In reality, everyone needs time to rest and recharge. Success isn't measured by how exhausted you are."
Indeed, hustle culture burnout is real and can leave us feeling depleted. We may then act super-harsh to ourselves and others because we're so exhausted. The problem? We may earn lots of real and figurative high-fives from others, such as our employers, for our "strong work ethic." As a result, everyone not running at our impossible pace is "lazy," including us, if we take a beat.
"When people are praised for always being busy, anything slower can be labeled as lazy," Dr. DeSeta states. "Taking breaks, saying no or choosing rest may look unproductive from the outside. In reality, those choices are often what help people avoid burnout and stay consistent."
But she shares that we often fall into a trap of judging effort by how busy someone is, rather than by how healthy and effective they are.
"That mindset makes it easy to confuse balance with laziness," Dr. DeSeta notes.
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7 'Lazy' Habits That Actually Signal High Emotional Intelligence
Some habits of emotionally intelligent people are mistakenly labeled "laziness." Dr. DeSeta says it's time for a reframe on these seven habits.
Ever wonder, "Why do I need so much alone time?" You may think it's because you're too "lazy" to attend post-work happy hours or "only" make five of the eight summer weddings you were invited to (even though three were ones you were in). Dr. DeSeta shares that detecting the need for solo time is actually a green flag for emotional intelligence.
"Emotionally intelligent people recognize when they need time to recharge instead of pushing themselves to do everything," she says. "Saying no to an invitation doesn't always mean someone doesn't care. It often means they're respecting their own limits. Alone time can improve mood, reduce stress and help people show up more fully when they are with others."
Still, don't get surprised when the "lazy" label gets falsely thrown your way.
"People on the outside may mistake that choice for laziness because they only see what someone isn't doing," she states. "Setting healthy boundaries is often a sign of self-awareness, not a lack of motivation."
2. Taking regular breaks during the workday
There's a difference between emotionally intelligent boundaries and laziness. Breaking for a 30-minute lunch or taking a lap around the office to get some hourly movement in is not the latter.
"Someone who steps away from their desk throughout the day may look like they're avoiding work," Dr. DeSeta says. "In reality, short breaks help people reset, stay focused and make better decisions instead of working until they're mentally drained."
Yes, it's OK to leave someone on "read" while you change a diaper or finish dinner with your family. You are not an AI chatbot. You do not need to be available on-demand, all day and night.
"Some people assume a delayed text or email means someone isn't motivated or doesn't care," Dr. DeSeta says. "Often, it's a healthy boundary that allows a person to stay present with their work, family or personal time instead of feeling available 24/7."
4. Leaving work on time
You are not "lazy" for leaving work at 5 p.m. (or your job's equivalent) and not answering a single email until 9 a.m. when you're back at work again.
"People who consistently leave at the end of the workday can be unfairly labeled as less dedicated," Dr. DeSeta reports. "In many cases, they're simply protecting their personal time and recognizing that being constantly overworked isn't the same as being productive."
Saying "no" to volunteering at your place of worship or an extra work task is completely acceptable if you're at (or nearing) capacity.
"Turning down extra responsibilities can sometimes be mistaken for laziness or a lack of ambition," Dr. DeSeta emphasizes. "Emotionally intelligent people know their limits and understand that doing a few things well is often more valuable than doing many things poorly."
6. Scheduling quiet time with no plans
White space on your calendar can put you in a good headspace, increasing emotional intelligence.
"A free afternoon or evening may look unproductive from the outside," Dr. DeSeta notes. "In reality, intentionally creating downtime helps reduce stress, restore mental energy and prevent burnout before it starts."
Solo time? A good thing for emotional intelligence. Doing everything by yourself? Not recommended. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness but rather a sign of high EQ.
"Emotionally intelligent people recognize that collaboration is a strength and that knowing when to lean on others often leads to better outcomes than trying to handle everything themselves," Dr. DeSeta explains.
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"High-EQ rest is intentional and has a purpose, while actual laziness is avoiding responsibilities without a good reason," Dr. DeSeta explains.
For instance, she shares that someone with high emotional intelligence can flag when they need to slow down. They know they'll return to a "faster pace" with more focus and energy.
"They aren't avoiding work," Dr. DeSeta says. "Instead, they're making sure they have the energy to do it well."
On the other hand, she notes that laziness means putting things off, even if it causes more problems or increases stress later.
"The biggest difference is that healthy rest helps you function better, while laziness tends to keep you stuck," Dr. DeSeta adds.
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How To Embrace 'Productive Rest' Without the Guilt
It's possible to heal from hustle culture burnout and set emotionally intelligent boundaries. Dr. DeSeta shared tips for embracing rest and developing habits of emotionally intelligent people.
1. Reframe rest as a priority—and schedule it
Dr. DeSeta notes that we don't have to "earn" rest. It's an important part of our routine, but you may need to work on fixing your mindset about "breathers" after years of living with little margin in your day.
"Many people feel guilty relaxing because they think they should always be doing something productive," she says. "Remind yourself that rest is what allows you to think clearly, stay patient and do your best work."
She suggests that people learn to schedule time for walks, reading or sitting outside, as they would for a meeting. Put it on your calendar.
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The Internet is full of ideas for self-care. But bath bombs and scented candles may make you sneeze.
"Not all downtime leaves you feeling refreshed, so pay attention to what actually restores your energy," Dr. DeSeta states. "For some people, that's taking a nap, spending time in nature, exercising or talking with a friend instead of endlessly scrolling on their phone."
She says a good way to determine whether the self-care strategy is truly recharging is to ask yourself whether you feel more energized afterward than when you started.
3. Let go of the idea that every minute has to be productive
Because it doesn't.
"Your value isn't measured by how busy you are every hour of the day," Dr. DeSeta emphasizes. "When you catch yourself feeling guilty for taking a break, remind yourself that rest is part of staying healthy, not a reward for being exhausted."
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Dr. Mindy DeSeta, Ph.D., is a Miami-based psychologist and relationship therapist.Hence then, the article about these 7 lazy habits actually signal high emotional intelligence psychologist says was published today ( ) and is available on Parade ( Saudi Arabia ) The editorial team at PressBee has edited and verified it, and it may have been modified, fully republished, or quoted. You can read and follow the updates of this news or article from its original source.
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