We’ve written quite a bit about Austrian psychiatrists and psychologists recently, but for good reason; they have a lot of famous theories! And Alfred Adler is no different. Born in 1870 in Penzing, Austria, he later developed individual psychology and the psychological term “inferiority feeling,” which later became known as an inferiority complex, per Britannica. Adler was also a colleague of Sigmund Freud’s, but split from his circle in 1911, before Carl Jung did a few years later. He was a medical doctor as well as a psychotherapist, and he believed that relationships within a family, feelings of belonging and even birth order played key roles in someone’s psychological development. SimplyPsychology reported that Adler also believed all behavior was goal-oriented, meaning that we all were working toward something; we just had different ambitions and ways of getting there.
With all of his teachings and theories, our quote of the dayfrom Adler highlights his belief that you don't need to be defined by your lot in life, but rather you determine how your situations affect you.
As Adler University’s website reported, he is “widely recognized as the first community psychologist,” because he put “community life, prevention and population health” first and at the center of his practice. He believed that we were really impacted by our social upbringing and the environments in which we grow up. He also proposed that helping others (“social interest”) is what makes someone feel they belong or have a sense of worth.
Adler died of a heart attack in 1937, and he was publishing books and articles up until then. And in one of his books, he wrote today’s quote about choosing how something impacts you and not the other way around.
Related: Quote of the Day: Psychotherapist Viktor Frankl on Choosing Your ‘Attitude in Any Given Set of Circumstances’
Quote of the Day by Alfred Adler
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“Meanings are not determined by situations, but we determine ourselves by the meanings we give to situations.”
Adler wrote this line in his book What Life Could Mean to You, published in 1933 (sometimes the title is written as What Life Should Mean to You). As the novel's description says, this is one of his most popular books, and it gives “a complete guide to his work on personal development with a practical approach to self-understanding.”
He shared the “three tasks of life” that he came up with, which are marriage, work and social relationships. The book presents his theories and ultimately tries to share his point: that “we can overcome the limitations of our past, and develop the confidence to transform both ourselves and our world.”
Related: Quote of the Day: Organizational Psychologist Adam Grant on Rethinking Self-Doubt and Building Confidence
This quote comes from his very first chapter of the book, titled “The Meaning of Life,” and right before the line, he gives examples of how different people might look at their childhood. He sets up a scenario: three men went through traumatic experiences as kids. The first man grew up with the mentality that he had to work to make sure his own kids didn’t go through the same things. The second two grew up with more of a victim mindset, with one believing that if he had to suffer, why shouldn’t other children? And the last man believed that he was owed forgiveness and grace for everything he did because his life was so hard.
With that example, Adler shares his point that they won’t change their actions if their minds and perspectives on their situations don’t change. He writes, “No experience is a cause of success or failure,” adding that any trauma we went through isn’t what we suffer from, per se, but rather “we make out of them what suits our purposes.”
In Adler’s opinion, “we are self-determined by the meaning we give to our experiences,” and we’re making a mistake if we use past experiences and/or traumas as the “basis for our future life.” Then he writes our quote of the day.
It’s important to point out that we get into dangerous territory when we start thinking that we can “choose happiness” or positivity to overcome mental health issues or disorders, such as PTSD. I’m not saying that Adler is saying this, exactly, but this quote could be interpreted in that vein. However, there is a way to look at this quote without doing that.
Essentially, analyzing this quote out of the context of his teachings, Adler is saying that you get to choose your own path forward. Even if you go through something traumatic during your life or you’re at a really low point, you can still choose to continue living and persevering through.
You also get to choose how good a person you are and how you help others (this, of course, doesn't count for people with personality disorders or others who have less control over themselves). Easier said than done, especially if other issues or something like PTSD are involved, but there is something powerful about being told that a situation doesn’t have to define you. You get to choose what that means to you and your life.
Related: Quote of the Day: Psychologist Carl Rogers on Self-Acceptance, Change and Personal Growth
More Quotes from Alfred Adler
“To see with the eyes of another, to hear with the ears of another, to feel with the heart of another. For the time being, this seems to me an admissible definition of what we call social feeling.”“It is always easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.”“It is the individual who is not interested in his fellow men who has the greatest difficulties in life and provides the greatest injury to others. It is from among such individuals that all human failures spring.”“This quote begins here. A simple rule in dealing with those who are hard to get along with is to remember that this person is striving to assert his superiority; and you must deal with him from that point of view. This quote ends here.”“There is no such thing as talent. There is pressure.”“Follow your heart but take your brain with you.”“It is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.”“Trust only movement. Life happens at the level of events, not of words. Trust movement.”Up Next:
Related: Quote of the Day: Poet Sylvia Plath on Living ‘Richly in the Present’ Without ‘Letting It Be Tainted and Spoiled Out of Fear for the Future’
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