Liam Payne's sister, Ruth Gibbins, is remembering her brother more than a year after his death.
Gibbins shared a tribute to Payne on her Instagram story on Thursday, April 16. Payne died on Oct. 16, 2024 at the age of 21 after falling from his hotel balcony in Argentina.
"18 months without you, it feels impossible to be a sentence, yet here we are," she began the post.
"Healing is such a tricky thing to navigate. I can't return to who I was before, because grief has changed my outlook that I could never be that person again, but then I get sad Liam will never know me who appeared after his death," Gibbins continued. "And then the main part of me is so homesick to go back to my before life, if it was an option given to me between that life or solve all the problems in the world forever, id always choose to go back to my life where my brother existed."
Gibbins shared that the former One Direction member, "taught me so much in life, but he didn't teach me how to live without him and thats a lesson I'm really struggling to get to grips with."
She concluded the Instagram tribute with, "Liam, I know you are all around me, especially in the last couple of weeks. I miss you more than my heart can handle, you should be here with us," she finished the heartfelt post. "I know you're willing us to live, I hope you can see all we're doing in your spirit."
According to a toxicology report released in Nov. 2024, Payne had "alcohol, cocaine and prescription antidepressants" in his system at the time of his death. In Sept. 2025, Payne's sister Nicola, shared on social media that the family had spent Payne's final birthday with him.
That night, celebrating your birthday with bowling and McDonald's, we celebrated you, your show Building the Bandyour dreams, and spoke of all the plans you had for the future,” Nicola wrote on Instagram. “We ended the evening with a hug. Telling you how proud we were and how much we loved you.”
She continued, “If I had known that would be the last time I'd see you, I would have said so much more. I wish I could step into a time machine and relive that night[,] hug you together, capture your smile and voice. Ask more questions, and write it all down so I'd never forget.”
If you or someone you know is struggling with substance abuse, please contact the SAMHSA helpline at 1-800-662-HELP.
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