No one bats a thousand when it comes to getting others to like them. Sometimes, we just don't click with another person. Maybe they're not very interesting, or we might think they're not interested in us. And it's OK if you stumble over interactions that result in someone not being your biggest fan. Still, etiquette experts say it's important to notice when people consistently and quickly distance themselves from you. Why? Well, you might have certain habits that make people dislike you quickly, and it's worth reflecting on rather than shrugging off the feedback (even if it's indirect)."Ignoring rude personal traits by using an 'I am who I am' mentality is one of the single most destructive character traits people are afraid to release," states podcaster Richie Frieman, known as the "Modern Manners Guy."You might not mean to do this, but if you receive criticism about how you interact with others or some less-than-flattering social habits you might have that make you unlikable, it's worth doing some self-reflection and self-work rather than just continuing with those bad patterns.Clearly, Frieman isn't holding back, though, and neither are two other etiquette experts Parade spoke to. They share 11 habits that will make people instantly dislike you, plus tips to break these tendencies and grow.Related: 10 Social Behaviors That Make You Seem Unapproachable, According to Etiquette Experts
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It's rarely a good excuse, at least not in others' minds."Nothing shows a truer sense of arrogance than someone constantly claiming 'I’m just being myself' to justify their rude behavior," Frieman tells Parade. "It doesn't justify anything; it simply illustrates an inability to accept responsibility."
2. Being overly political in non-political settings
The PSA we need right now."No one has ever thanked an overly political person for shouting their opinions at people who don't enjoy their same views," Frieman states.There's a time and place for these discussions, but he says pinpointing it requires reading the room."Know your audience to save your breath from people you know don’t care," Frieman shares.This instantly dislikable habit dovetails nicely into another common one in the modern era...
Opinions still aren't facts, and no one is perfect, contrary to the "vibes" on social media. Copping this attitude IRL is a major turn-off."No one loves being around a person who refuses to face the fact that they are wrong," Frieman says. "Even the most arrogant person can't argue with the statistical fact that no one person is correct 100% of the time."He isn't wrong there, to be fair.
4. Constantly checking your phone
Our devices have become our fifth limbs, so even well-mannered types commit this faux pas, which is often called "phubbing.""For some people, the phone has become the item that brings them comfort, a sense of security," Rosalinda Randall, an etiquette expert, states. "Others feel important by constantly checking their phones. They wouldn’t want to miss out on closing a big deal. It can also be used to avoid or limit conversation."
Randall notes that "tell-alls" can struggle with oversharing, such as giving TMI about romantic escapades."Some people pride themselves on being 'an open book,' not realizing that not everyone cares for the audio version," she says. "Others like or need attention. They need people to see how spectacular their life is, or they may be longing to establish a relationship."Related: 9 ‘Old-School’ Habits Boomers Have That Can Make Them Seem Unlikable Today, Etiquette Experts Say
6. You interrupt
Not letting others have the floor is one way to tank likability fast."An interruption now and then throughout a conversation can make it more interesting," Randall shares. "However, when the interruption is constant or irrelevant, it’ll cause tension and shut down the conversation."
Constructive criticism can sting, and disagreements can feel awkward. Still, an etiquette pro says it's crucial to open your mind rather than digging in by default."Defensiveness shuts down growth and repair," says Genevieve (Jenny) Dreizen, the COO and co-founder of Fresh Starts Registry and a modern-day etiquette and boundaries expert. "Curiosity invites understanding and connection."
8. You're chronically late without acknowledgment
Things happen, but making a habit of being tardy to the party and acting like it's no big deal can make people dislike you."It's not caring of other's time, plans or energy," Dreizen says. "We can't always control being late, but we can control acknowledging it. You don't have to apologize; you just have to recognize."
Ironically, this habit is often a bid for likability."While this is usually an attempt at connection, it often makes others feel like they are in attendance of the 'You Show,' instead of having a conversation," Dreizen notes.Related: This Is the #1 Mistake People Make During Small Talk, Jefferson Fisher Warns
10. Offering unsolicited advice
Though sometimes well-meaning, this habit can land wrong if someone isn't seeking solutions."Sometimes sitting with someone else's hard feelings feels like too much, and fixing feels easier than sitting with them in a tough place," Dreizen states. "But without consent, advice often feels patronizing rather than supportive."
Just don't do it."People notice how you treat those who can’t push back," Dreizen warns. "This habit signals entitlement and a lack of empathy."Related: People Who Struggle With Self-Awareness Often Display These 8 Behaviors, Psychologists Say
How To Fix These Unfavorable Social Habits
1. Take a beat
It takes one click to blast your hot take, but it can take you a lifetime to recover from it. Dreizen says your time may be better spent by pausing."Most unhelpful habits happen on autopilot," she explains. "Take a pause to ask, 'Do I need to say this?' or 'Is this about me or the moment?” [This] interrupts reflex and creates choice."
This one is challenging, especially if you default to defensiveness, but it's necessary."When something lands poorly, curiosity keeps you in connection instead of control," Dreizen shares. "Replacing 'That’s not what I meant' with 'How did that come across?” is a habit-breaker and a trust-builder."
3. Ask, don’t assume
We probably don't need to remind you of what can happen if you assume, but it's still at the heart of many bad social habits."Many missteps come from filling in gaps with our own story," Dreizen points out. "Simple questions like 'Do you want advice or support?' or 'Is now a good time?' prevent friction before it starts."Up Next:
Related: 13 Things People Say in Conversations That Make Them Instantly Unlikable, Etiquette Experts Warn
Sources:
Genevieve (Jenny) Dreizen is the COO and co-founder of Fresh Starts Registry and a modern-day etiquette and boundaries expert.Richie Frieman is an etiquette expert known as the "Modern Manners Guy," as well as a podcaster at RichieFrieman.com.Rosalinda Randall is a nationally recognized etiquette expert.Hence then, the article about these 11 habits will make people dislike you fast etiquette experts warn was published today ( ) and is available on Parade ( Saudi Arabia ) The editorial team at PressBee has edited and verified it, and it may have been modified, fully republished, or quoted. You can read and follow the updates of this news or article from its original source.
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