Some people are born with certain talents and traits, while others hone them over time. In the case of emotional intelligence, while it can be something you’re born with, it’s also something that you can learn and improve within yourself. “Emotional intelligence is a set of skills involved in navigating emotions in yourself and others,” defines Dr. Kibby McMahon, PhD, a licensed clinical psychologist and the CEO of KulaMind, a support platform for loved ones of people with mental illness or addiction. “It includes the ability to identify what you’re feeling and why you’re feeling it.” As a result, if you’re emotionally intelligent, you’ll use that information to manage your feelings in healthy ways, which Dr. McMahon notes is called emotional regulation. And she notes that in social settings, you’ll showcase your emotional intelligence through your ability to understand and respond to other people’s emotions to achieve your goals. It’s also a way to practice compassion and empathy. Dr.Gina Radice-Vella, Psy.D.—the Chief Psychologist at Hackensack Meridian HealthJersey Shore University Medical Center—lists a few benefits of being emotionally intelligent: you’ll be able to turn to your emotions to solve problems, you can deepen your relationships with others and you can more easily cope with stress.Ahead, learn about the characteristics of an emotionally intelligent person, check out seven phrases emotionally intelligent people never say and find out how you can become even more emotionally intelligent as well.Related: 12 Things Emotionally Intelligent Women Do That the Average Person Avoids, Psychologists Say
What Are the Characteristics of an Emotionally Intelligent Person?
Maskot/Getty Images
Both Dr. McMahon and Dr. Radice-Vella list the most common characteristics of an emotionally intelligent person, which include:
Able to use the rich information that emotions communicate, picking up on small mood shifts in themselves or others.Tends to be very insightful.Often considered empathetic or having “street smarts,” which means they can read and respond to what other people are feeling. Aware of their triggers, they recognize how they experience different emotions in their body.Experiences healthier relationships. Able to both experience their emotions and manage them intentionally. Has strong social skills and communication style.Is often a great friend and romantic partner.Related: 8 Behaviors That Instantly Reveal Someone Has Low Emotional Intelligence, Psychologists Say
Dr. McMahon says that emotionally intelligent people understand that crying is a natural and important expression of sadness. Instead, they might say, “It’s OK to cry—it takes strength to show how you’re feeling.”
2. "You shouldn’t feel that way."
“Individuals with emotional intelligence tend to be very empathic, which means they can often see a situation from another person’s point of view and take on the emotions that come with that point of view,” Dr. Radice-Vella says. So that's why they wouldn't tell someone how to feel or what they're feeling, even if they can commiserate with them. That's why they would say something a bit different.“Instead, emotionally intelligent people may say, ‘I understand why you feel that way’ or ‘I can see where you are coming from,’” she adds.
While some people can be more stoic than others, Dr. McMahon says that most people have a normal range of emotions. “Saying you never feel angry means you lack the awareness or tend to suppress anger,” she explains. She offers up this alternative phrase: “I don’t get angry that often, but when I do, I know how to make myself feel better.”
4. "I can’t handle this right now."
According to Dr. Radice-Vella, if you have high emotional intelligence, you likely have confidence in your ability to handle emotions and stressful situations as they arise. “They are often skilled at taking in information and processing their own emotional reactions simultaneously, making them excellent problem solvers,” she observes. She adds that instead of hearing them say, “I can’t handle this right now,” you may hear emotionally intelligent people say, “I will figure this out” or “I got this,” which exudes confidence and capability.
“Emotionally intelligent people also know that other people can’t read their minds,” Dr. McMahon states. “They know when it’s important to communicate how they’re feeling to other people.” Because of this, they wouldn't say a phrase that assumes others can automatically know exactly why they're frustrated or mad.Instead, these mature people might say something like, “Yeah, I’m pretty upset right now. Let’s talk about it.”
6. "That’s just the way I am."
Dr. Radice-Vella points out that emotionally intelligent individuals rarely shut down feedback from others—instead, they tend to be open and receptive to feedback from others in favor of personal growth. “They are motivated for self-enhancement and take in feedback from others rather than shutting it down," she states. "Instead of discounting feedback, individuals with emotional intelligence may say, ‘I am motivated to work on this about myself.’”
7. "Why are you so sensitive?"
“This phrase usually has a judgmental tone, implying that someone’s emotional responses are bad, illogical or too much,” Dr. McMahon says. She adds that it can be invalidating to say this, and it could make them even more upset. Conversely, you could say, “Help me understand what you’re feeling.”Related: 4 Social Cues Emotionally Intelligent People Always Notice
How To Become More Emotionally Intelligent
First of all, Dr. McMahon says that if you desire to become more emotionally intelligent, you should strive to practice mindfulness of emotions. She calls this approach her “favorite way to help people become more emotionally intelligent.” This involves paying attention to your feelings in the present moment and without judgment. “Every day, spend about 3 minutes tuning into what you’re feeling and what thoughts, physical sensations, urges or behaviors come up for you,” she advises. “Write down your observations in a journal or a note on your phone. It’ll be uncomfortable to pay attention to difficult emotions, but this awareness is the foundation of all emotional intelligence.”Dr. Radice-Vella adds, “Let your emotions and your thoughts tell a story about what is happening, considering all possible sides of the story. Being emotionally intelligent is about recognizing and being aware of your emotions, but it goes one step further to analyzing whether the emotional reaction is warranted in the particular situation.” She calls emotional intelligence “the ability to regulate oneself, take a deep breath and shift the outcome to one that is more beneficial.”Up Next:
Related: 5 Things That Emotionally Intelligent People Do When They're Disrespected
Sources:
Dr. Kibby McMahon, PhD, is a licensed clinical psychologist and the CEO of KulaMind.Dr. Gina Radice-Vella, Psy.D., is the Chief Psychologist at Hackensack Meridian HealthJersey Shore University Medical Center.Hence then, the article about 7 phrases emotionally intelligent people never use and what they say instead was published today ( ) and is available on Parade ( Saudi Arabia ) The editorial team at PressBee has edited and verified it, and it may have been modified, fully republished, or quoted. You can read and follow the updates of this news or article from its original source.
Read More Details
Finally We wish PressBee provided you with enough information of ( 7 Phrases Emotionally Intelligent People Never Use—and What They Say Instead )
Also on site :
- Valve will face that £656m UK lawsuit accusing them of overcharging Steam customers, as tribunal rules it can go ahead
- Mimi Rogers Turns 70 and Stuns on the Red Carpet Alongside Her Beautiful Lookalike Daughter
- Macy’s $27 Cubic Zirconia Halo Stud Earrings Have Shoppers Raving About the ‘Quality and Sparkle’