I think Licha, as Lisandro Martinez prefers, is winning this one. The combative star of the nascent Manchester United resurrection intuited the national desire to punch the Class of 92 smack on the nose when he invited his critics to “show the face” at his house and repeat their dismissive remarks.
The former United warriors on the end of the Martinez stare, Paul Scholes and Nicky Butt, foolishly chose the diminutive Martinez to symbolise the bicep differential between United and rivals City ahead of the Manchester derby. Erling Haaland would, advised Scholes, no giant himself, pick him up and dump him in the United net. Butt laughed.
We know what happened next. The physicalist slur backfired on Butt and Scholes as much as it did on City, their insults landing on tired ears like a Donald Trump assault on Greenland. Frankly the nation as well as Martinez is done with the endless whining of that body of ex-United footballers converted to punditry.
Though Scholes notionally retreated from televised commentary to care for his son, he merely stepped into an alternative echo chamber. The result is something called “The Good The Bad And The Football”, yet another generic podcast in which “Scholesy” and “Butty” respond to prompts from comedian and professional northerner Paddy McGuiness.
“Trust me,” said McGuinness at September’s launch, “these two have seen it all, and they’re not afraid to tell it how it is. Sitting down with Scholesy and Butty every week is a dream come true.” Speak for yourself, Paddy.
What we have here is another tired format that relies on the association of former footballers with a club that drives the news agenda. They offer neither wit nor wisdom and rely on anecdotes about their time at United under the yoke of Sir Alex Ferguson to keep the inane patter flowing. As after-dinner repartee, it is about as appetising as boiled cabbage.
If Scholes were as articulate in speech as he was with a ball at his feet, he might be worth a listen. Butt was a bit-part player at most, and best remembered as the ginger-haired imposter mistaken for Scholes when identified by Pele as his favourite player.
Their voices are elevated by outlets who leverage their celebrity in the media space. It is the cheapest of cheap programming, their words shovelled out there, given meaning in a blizzard of shouty headlines framed around the shitshow that United have become. Roy Keane, Gary Neville and Rio Ferdinand have made an industry out of it.
Indeed, Neville has already cashed in, selling his YouTube show ‘The Overlap’ to Global, a media company specialising in radio. Ferdinand left his role as pundit for TNT Sports to grow his own media brand “Rio Presents”, an ear breaker filled with Rioism’s delivered in Peckham patois.
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Almost all of this stuff is uncritical mush, as nourishing as a McDonald’s, yet packaged in the right way and distributed skillfully, teases the tastebuds. It took one magnificent derby eruption fashioned by Michael Carrick, himself a victim of the 92 shtick with Keane’s tasteless digs at his wife, to stick a sock in the mouths of the 92 and switch the narrative.
In his own South American way, Martinez said f*** you. He spoke for the underclass everywhere, for every bloke who does not meet the macho stereotype, for women dismissed by toxic males for having a voice. He showed his face on the pitch to lift United to a level not seen since Fergie picked the team, and he offered it to the 92, for which he has our gratitude.
Martinez is the son of a bricklayer from the city of Gualeguay, 150 miles north of Buenos Aires. The central feature of the Entre Rios district where he was raised is a decaying slaughterhouse, which has come to symbolise neglect in the area. Not quite the crime riddled, gun-running Fuerta Apache barrio of Buenos Aires from which Carlos Tevez escaped, but nevertheless, a guarantee of a thorough welcome should Butt or Scholes accept the invite.
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