Oh Jack, it’s almost 2026 not 1976. Being out on the lash at Christmas was a bad idea then. Had you been drinking lemon and ginger tea into the early hours last week, mind and body would hardly have been saying thanks boss, that’s me raring to go against Burnley.
When George Best was hacking about the capital at 30 years old looking to keep the night rolling, the game was already up. Had Best walked through a different sliding door, he might still have been knocking them in for Manchester United at his peak.
But no, he thought he could sleep it off, leave the hangover on a peg in the dressing room. Instead of Old Trafford he was running out for Dunstable Town, Stockport County and Cork Celtic before Fulham gave him a home at the same age Grealish is now.
David Moyes said Grealish missed Everton’s trip to Burnley due to a virus (Photo: Getty)Everton is hardly slumming it. There is not a finer setting in the Premier League than the new Hill Dickinson Stadium, bathed as it is in cutting edge design. The football, however, you know, the point of it all, is somewhat removed from the Manchester City experience, where Rayan Cherki is filling his boots, essentially being Jack Grealish.
Was it the “virus” that kept Grealish out of Everton’s game at Turf Moor or was his absence against Burnley the considered action of a coach wondering how a trip to a London strip club 24 hours after losing at Arsenal might be considered in his and the club’s best interests?
The alleged details revealed in The Sun read like a retro kiss and tell, “sources” revealing how Grealish had treated his mates to dinner in a Mayfair restaurant before heading to neighbouring Leicester Square, host to Platinum Lace, a club where punters pay women to peel off their own kit.
There is no suggestion Grealish was indulging his masculine proclivities. Indeed, reports touchingly referenced how Jack the lad did not cast a glance at the women wrapped around poles or dancing on laps.
This will have been met with huge relief back at base, where his childhood sweetheart Sasha Attwood was tucked up with their daughter, Mila Rose, after the family had earlier visited Lapland UK.
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Presumably Attwood was just as surprised as Moyes to discover Grealish would later be repairing at lap dance UK. No harm done, eh Jack? It was just a night out. It didn’t mean anything.
Grealish fits easily into the “good lad” category, universally liked, generous and charming. His problem is understanding the requirements of the modern-day athlete. Best was a footballer on Saturday afternoons and a playboy Monday to Friday.
In his defence, Best was locked into the culture of the day acting in accordance with convention. They were all playing the same game. Tommy Docherty was not checking the scales a la Pep Guardiola after time off. The medical staff at Old Trafford were not measuring the biomarkers in blood, monitoring energy levels, recovery and muscle health.
The performance of the modern footballer is measured not just in goals and assists but heart rates and heat maps. Today’s heroes are the most optimised humans on earth, primed for peak physical output. Miss a minute’s sleep at City and Pep is on the phone demanding to look at smart watch sleep traces.
Grealish is remembered as much for the celebrations of City’s 2023 Treble as for his contributions he made on the pitch. He was not alone, of course, but the blood metrics don’t care about that, and his team-mates did not all have his party CV.
Grealish was talked about as a Ballon d’Or candidate back then. Thirty months on he is on loan at Everton, his impact waning in World Cup year. Two goals and four assists is the sum of it thus far.
Thomas Tuchel, it appears, has already called time on Grealish’s England career. Or maybe he recognises that Grealish has called time on himself.
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