8 Signs You’re Being 'Emotionally Manipulated' During the Holidays, According to Psychologists ...Saudi Arabia

It's the season of giving, but you likely don't want to be on the receiving end of emotional manipulation during the holidays. This form of manipulation occurs when someone tries to influence your feelings, decisions or actions through guilt, fear or other subtle tactics rather than just talking it out like a grown-up, explains Dr. Holly Schiff, Psy.D., a licensed clinical psychologist. Emotional manipulation can become more common during the holidays—and cut deeper."Emotional manipulation becomes amplified during the holidays because families are navigating heightened expectations, traditions and long-standing dynamics," she explains. "The desire to keep the peace can make people more vulnerable to bending their boundaries."Familiarizing yourself with common signs you're being emotionally manipulated during the holidays can help you protect your peace. Psychologists share red flags of emotional manipulation during this festive time of year, and how to respond.Related: If You Always Feel Like the Family Peacekeeper, Psychologists Say You Might Have These 2 Main Traits

8 Signs of Emotional Manipulation During the Holidays, Psychologists Warn

Noko LTD/Getty Images

Boundaries are a gift of self-care. Will other people love them? Not necessarily, but they should respect them. Emotional manipulators will not."If your boundaries are met with blame or pushback instead of respect and acceptance, that is a sign of manipulation," Dr. Schiff explains. "They aren't understanding your limit. They are trying to make you regret setting it."As a result, she says you might feel pressured to ditch your boundaries and agree to commitments you previously said no to. It's important not to blame yourself for feeling the heat, particularly during the holidays. It's part of the emotional manipulator's playbook."Manipulators rely on the chaos of the season to disguise pressure as tradition or obligation," she shares.Related: How To Set Boundaries Around Gift-Giving Without Sounding Rude, According to Psychologists

2. Guilt-tripping

You don't need to go over the river and through the woods to experience this kind of trip. However, it can leave you feeling like you got run over by a reindeer when someone guilt-trips you, especially if you previously felt good about a choice."For example, you may have decided to visit your mother on Christmas Day and looked forward to the plan, but by the time you leave your mother's home, you feel guilty for not going on Christmas Eve, too," shares Dr. Deborah Vinall, Psy.D., LMFT, the chief psychological officer with Recovered.org. "If your guilt comes from passive-aggressive comments about her loneliness and how you clearly don't really care, you've been emotionally manipulated."The comments are often subtle, so awareness is key. Dr. Stefanie Mazer, Psy.D., a psychologist, says some common guilt-tripping phrases around the holidays include, "After everything I've done for you…" or "You never help me…" 

Dr. Vinall shares that this one is particularly prevalent among siblings around the holidays, but it can happen at any time in a relationship. She says that gaslighting can involve someone sharing a completely different narrative than you recall, leaving you feeling confused and with a sense of self-doubt."For example, when you [and your sibling] show up to the holiday meal with desserts, she tells you you had agreed to bring a vegetable dish, and you're left wondering if your memory is failing or whether she just wanted you to look bad," she shares.

4. Creating chaos or drama

The drama is best left to Hallmark movies and kiddie pageants, but people who are emotionally manipulating you during the holidays often miss the memo."Some people start arguments or create tension to get attention or control over a situation," Dr. Mazer reveals. "This can pull your focus away from what you wanted to do. You may feel worn out or stressed after being around them. Pay attention if gatherings or plans often feel unpredictable and exhausting because of their actions."Related: If Holiday Visits Leave You Drained, These 10 ‘Emotionally Intelligent’ Boundaries Help—Especially for Women Over 50

And not just because of inflation. Dr. Vinall reports that emotional manipulators can add another layer to this already-loaded task, making you go gift shopping out of resentful obligation rather than love."If you are buying things because of heavy hints and suggestions of 'owing' the recipient, rather than in hopes of delighting someone you love, you may be reacting to emotional manipulation," she explains.

6. Withholding affection or attention

Not every interaction this time of year is going to feel warm and fuzzy. Still, it's a time to connect and express love and gratitude for one another. Yet, some people in your life may do anything but. Dr. Mazer says people who are emotionally manipulating you during the holidays (or, frankly, any time) might stop talking to you, ignore you or act colder than an icicle in the North Pole when things don't go their way."This can make you afraid of upsetting them or losing their approval," she states. "It's a way to control your actions by making you feel like you need to earn their love. Notice if their warmth feels like it depends on what you do."

Feeling loved and appreciated through compliments is on many people's wish list. However, Dr. Vinall warns that if you start to feel the compliments are excessive or extreme, it could be a red flag for emotional manipulation, especially if it's followed by a total 180."For example, the charming guy you met at the holiday party floods you with compliments, gifts and constant text messages—only to make other plans for New Year's Eve with an excuse that puts the blame on your supposed deficiencies," she explains. "This is a classic cycle of love bombing, in which you are overwhelmed with a flood of positivity to pull you in, followed by devaluation and discarding, creating an emotional dependency."

8. Your decisions are driven by fear and anxiety

Dr. Vinall shares that it's important to check in with why you're doing something. Is it out of love and joy—or fear and anxiety? If the answer is primarily the latter, consider that you might be experiencing emotional manipulation."Perhaps you want to go to a holiday event, but your partner or adult child suggests they will harm themself if you do not stay home with them—a frequent threat that has never been acted upon, but leaves you afraid they might," she shares. "This pattern demonstrates coercive behavior that uses your emotions as weapons to control you."Related: Psychologists Say These 12 ‘Nice’ Habits Actually Cause More Holiday Stress

Dr. Vinall suggests taking some time to create a clear (but flexible) vision for how you want to celebrate."Knowing what feels meaningful and important to you helps to inoculate against others' pushing you into events or gatherings that don't feel right for you," she explains.

2. Ground yourself before responding

Dr. Schiff warns that emotional manipulators want to get a rise out of you, especially during a charged time like the holidays. Try to avoid giving them such a "gift.""Ground yourself before responding, and don't get pulled into the emotional whirlwind and take the emotional bait," she advises. "Respond to the content, not the drama. To stay in control of your decisions, pause and take a breath before you respond. When you do, use neutral language."

Scripts are not just for actors in holiday movies. Dr. Mazer suggests thinking ahead about what you might say to someone who emotionally manipulates you."Having a few calm, simple responses ready can make it easier to stick to your boundaries," she explains. "You won't feel caught off guard or obligated to explain yourself too much. Preparing ahead helps you stay confident and avoid getting drawn into arguments."Here, Dr. Vinall suggests considering a direct route by naming the emotional manipulation."Calling a behavior out for what it is creates emotional distance from its entanglement," she shares. "Naming it to the other person, while not always necessary, can take away its power and communicate that their tactics will not work on you."Alternatively, you may skip labeling it as emotional manipulation, but Dr. Vinall still suggests a direct approach by addressing what you're experiencing. For example, she shares that you might say, "Mom, it seems like you want me to feel bad for not spending more time with you over the holidays.""This shifts the power dynamic to one of equality and undermines the passive-aggressive game by cultivating space for open and honest communication," she says.

4. Limit contact when necessary

As hard as it is, you may be better off taking a step back to protect yourself."If someone causes you stress, it's okay to spend less time with them or decide to spend no time with them at all," Dr. Mazer shares. "Don't feel obligated to be around someone you don't want to be around just because it's the holidays. This makes it easier to enjoy the season without feeling worn out."Up Next:

Related: 12 Emotionally Intelligent Ways To Handle Passive-Aggressive Comments at Holiday Gatherings

Sources:

Hence then, the article about 8 signs you re being emotionally manipulated during the holidays according to psychologists was published today ( Thursday 25/12/2025 - 03:18 AM ) and is available on Parade ( Saudi Arabia ) The editorial team at PressBee has edited and verified it, and it may have been modified, fully republished, or quoted. You can read and follow the updates of this news or article from its original source.

Read More Details
Finally We wish PressBee provided you with enough information of ( 8 Signs You’re Being 'Emotionally Manipulated' During the Holidays, According to Psychologists )

Also on site :

• Tornado warning issued, and quickly cancelled, over Alhambra
• Governor Hochul: Annual statewide donation drive is complete
• Skier dies in collision with tree at Colorado’s Aspen Mountain, resort officials confirm