On Dec. 8, 1980, the Beatles icon John Lennon was shot and killed outside his home in New York City. Decades after the murder, his producer, Jack Douglas, looks back on that day and the guilt he's felt ever since on how he could have stopped it.
During an appearance on the Magnificent Others with Billy Corgan podcast, Douglas claims Lennon would be alive if he had stuck to their routine. Hours before the murder, Lennon and Douglas were in the studio working on the "Walking on Thin Ice" song.
"I didn't want to go out of the house. It was terrible. And I felt this terrible guilt because very often I went home with him, and I didn't because I had another session after," he admitted. "And so, I played it over and over and over."
Douglas went on to add that he's often thought about possible scenarios if he had accompanied Lennon to his New York home.
"I would have been in the car, I would have seen the guy, I would have tackled him, John would be alive," he explained. "So, that played over and over and over."
On that day, Lennon came home with his wife, Yoko Ono, and was walking toward their apartment building, The Dakota. Mark David Chapman, who was 25 years old at the time, shot Lennon multiple times and waited for the police to arrive.
The Beatles icon was pronounced dead on arrival at the hospital, with Chapman having admitted to killing Lennon over wanting fame. He was sentenced to 20 years to life in prison and has been denied parole multiple times.
Douglas admits that having lost a dear friend spiraled him into addiction, and the guilt intensified due to public demands for interviews, articles, and even books.
"I wanted absolutely nothing to do with it. And so I started hiding out and then taking pills so that I could just stay in the house," he said.
He's been sober for over 30 years after getting help, and admits to Lennon often visiting him in his dreams.
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