Some of you may consider yourselves talented athletes. But how many of you have competed in the Milton Keynes Mini-Golf Masters?
2025’s second greatest sporting event (behind the Women’s Euros, ahead of the Ashes) takes place today.
It is the Marathon des Sables of crazy golf, a sporting endurance event unlike any other. The competitors travel 20km around Buckinghamshire’s most famous city by e-scooter, even in deep snow or torrential rain. We cover seven courses, playing 90 holes in 11 hours.
This gloriously pointless contest means a great deal to us. School friendships endure when you refuse to stop playing. The MK Mini-Golf Masters is a line drawn straight from childhood to middle age, through windmills and fibreglass dinosaurs.
We began the championship in 2022 during a rough time for mental health. Men are not famous for maintaining friend-ship networks. Many societies are gripped by a loneliness epidemic, devices fraying the social fabric which bound us.
So the daft rituals have become sacred. Historical statistics are cherished, in the manner of Wisden. Mythology has grown around Pirate Cove and Volcano Falls.
And with it, our shared refusal to grow up brings companionship and solace.I’m sorry for not writing about “the news”. But I’d argue that the MGM Hole In One Cup has as much integrity as the new Fifa Peace Prize awarded to Donald Trump. You can decide which tournament has more soul!
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