There’s no doubt that the relationship between a grandparent and a grandchild can be a magical one. It’s a unique relationship that’s often full of a special type of love and joy. Maybe it’s the extra treats grandparents allow, the fun sleepovers they host, their love for someone so much younger than them or the way they let their grandkids get away with things that their parents never did. There are many ways grandmas and grandpas can show their grandchildren love, care and happiness, some of which are unique to them and some of which aren’t.If you’re lucky, you can look back on your relationship with your grandparents and remember some of those memories and feelings. Or, maybe you’re a grandparent now, and you want to create that for your grandkids. In either situation, you might be wondering what makes grandparents and that bond so incredible. What are the super meaningful things they can do? What separates a “good” grandparent from a “magic-making” one? Is it even possible to be a “magic-making” grandparent, and what does that mean?Ahead, child psychologists explain what we mean by “magic-making,” what magic-making grandparents do differently and how to create more magic for grandchildren. Spoiler alert: It’s easier than you think, and you might already be doing it.Related: 55 Fun Things To Do With Grandkids—Indoor, Outdoor and Sleepover Activities
What Is ‘Magic-Making’ When It Comes To Raising Children?
What feels like “magic” to kids is really just repackaged love, according to Dr. Roseann Capanna-Hodge, Ed.D., a psychologist who works with children, teens and families. “They engage through play, stories and shared moments of joy, and not by doing more, but by being present,” she explains. “Whether they're baking cookies, sharing family stories or simply listening, they build connections that last long after the moment has passed.”Dr. Katy Hopkins, PhD, HSPP, a licensed psychologist who specializes in children, adolescents and families, agrees. She doesn’t believe it’s about “spoiling” children, but creating “predictable, joyful rituals and routines that help their grandchildren feel safe, loved and connected to their family story.”She explains that this warmth and consistency buffer the grandchildren from stress, promote healthy development and even strengthen parents’ well-being in the process. Related: Parents and Grandparents Who Raise Self-Aware Kids Often Do These 6 Things, According to Child Psychologists
A magic-making grandparent’s role involves not only the grandchild’s needs, but the parent’s needs, too. This cohesion benefits the whole family.“Alignment between parents and grandparents is correlated with fewer behavioral issues in children,” Dr. Hopkins says.For example, parents and grandparents can work together on certain goals, like potty-training or discussing similar messages about sharing.
2. They tell the family story
Telling a grandchild about other generations and their stories can be “magic-making” too, and have real benefits for children. Dr. Hopkins says that children hearing their family’s history (both successes and hardships) from their grandparents can “help nurture children's identity and belonging.”For example, maybe a grandchild has something in common with or experienced something similar to their grandparent’s grandparent. Maybe a cousin who lives a few states away has some advice that would come in handy for the grandchild at the moment.Related: 150 Questions To Ask Your Grandparents About Their Lives, According to a Licensed Therapist
Magic-making grandparents know it’s not about creating perfect moments, but meaningful ones. They put away their phones, make eye contact and listen with curiosity.“That kind of attention helps a child feel seen, safe and valued,” Dr. Capanna-Hodge explains.
4. They delight in the little things
Whether they're baking, sharing stories or talking about the shapes of the clouds with their grandchildren, these grandparents find joy everywhere. “Simple rituals like these become anchors of love that children carry for life,” Dr. Capanna-Hodge says. In other words, no act of love or “magic-making” is too small.
Bringing joy and delight to learning experiences is also key. Dr. Hopkins shares examples of things grandparents can teach, such as cooking, gardening, crafts, handiwork projects and how to fix things. She explains that this helps build mastery, language skills and both family and community connections. And of course, don’t forget the joy part. “Grandparents who approach these tasks with joy and a sense of play and discovery encourage curiosity over perfect outcomes,” she adds.
6. They provide steady, comforting energy
Magic-making grandparents help their grandkids feel cared for and safe. (Yes, it really is that simple.)“They pass down calm through steady, loving energy that teaches kids [that] safety and love are felt through connection, not things,” Dr. Capanna-Hodge says. “Just being near a calm grandparent helps a child’s nervous system settle and thrive.”Body language, tone, eye contact—all of those factors play a role.
7. They find ways to stay connected
Grandparents can provide steady, comforting energy from afar, too. Dr. Hopkins encourages grandparents to do this, whether through routine video calls, phone calls or even “snail mail.”“Whether it be a weekly story told over FaceTime or silly postcards sent back and forth, these moments foster close relationships while also improving young children's language skills and joint attention,” she says.Related: 9 Habits of Grandparents Who Stay Emotionally Close to Their Grandkids—Even From Far Away
How To ‘Make More Magic’ With Your Grandkids
As illustrated, “making magic” with kids and grandkids is more straightforward than you might think, and it isn’t necessarily about doing more. “It’s about slowing down, saying yes to play and finding fun and wonder in the ordinary moments,” Dr. Capanna-Hodge says.Dr. Hopkins shares examples of what that looks like:
Making it predictable, like a “Donut Saturday” or “Wednesday Storytime” ritual.Telling real family stories that include family members overcoming hardship and showing resiliency.Following the grandchild’s lead with undivided attention to help them thrive, feel seen and be more connected (this can be especially meaningful if the parent isn’t as available to provide that).Focusing on presence, not presents, through routine and consistent time together. Aligning before you arrive, AKA asking the parent what would be most helpful and alleviating the parent’s needs and stress areas.In short, magic-making grandparents are all about creating emotional safety and showing their love. “Magic-making grandparents are different because they lead with presence, savor simple moments, model calm and nurture curiosity,” Dr. Capanna-Hodge says. “Their steady, joyful energy tells a child’s nervous system ‘you’re safe’—and that’s when real connection and wonder take root.”Up Next:
Related: Child Psychologists Are Begging Parents and Grandparents to Never Turn a Blind Eye to These 10 Emotional Reflexes
Sources:
Dr. Roseann Capanna-Hodge, Ed.D, is a psychologist who works with children, teens and families.Dr. Katy Hopkins, PhD, HSPP, is a licensed psychologist who specializes in children, adolescents and families.Hence then, the article about 7 things magic making grandparents do differently according to child psychologists was published today ( ) and is available on Parade ( Saudi Arabia ) The editorial team at PressBee has edited and verified it, and it may have been modified, fully republished, or quoted. You can read and follow the updates of this news or article from its original source.
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