Women Who Haven't Matured Emotionally Usually Display These 13 Behaviors Without Realizing It, Psychologists Say ...Saudi Arabia

"Never grow up" sounds romantic in theory—and maintaining an imagination and willingness to play into adulthood can certainly serve you and others well. However, acting like an adult emotionally—AKA developing emotional maturity—is critical."At its core, emotional maturity is about self-awareness, accountability and compassion in how you move through life and relationships," says Dr. Stefanie Mazer, Psy.D, a psychologist in Florida.People who haven't emotionally matured can struggle with all of the above and more. Emotional immaturity transcends sex and gender identity. However, women may be especially prone to showing their emotional immaturity, often without realizing it, through certain behaviors.Awareness is the first step toward addressing these issues and developing more authentic relationships with yourself and others. To help, we have 13 behaviors that women who haven't matured emotionally often display—maybe without even realizing it—according to psychologists.Related: Men Who Haven't Matured Emotionally Usually Display These 10 Behaviors Without Realizing It, Psychologists Say

13 Behaviors Common in Women Who Haven't Matured Emotionally, Psychologists Say

Taking everything—or most things—personally is the biggest red flag one psychologist sees in her private practice. To emotionally immature women, neutrals are only a "thing" when repainting their bedroom."Emotionally immature women interpret neutral or even unrelated situations as personal slights," reports Dr. Brittany McGeehan, Ph.D., a licensed psychologist. "This pattern of taking things personally keeps them in a cycle of defensiveness and distance instead of curiosity and connection with themselves and others."Related: 'Am I the Problem?' A Relationship Therapist Shares 7 Warning Signs

2. Struggles to handle criticism

Criticism hits different when everything is personal."Emotionally immature women may take feedback as a personal attack and get defensive instead of taking it as a chance to learn and grow," Dr. Mazer points out.Related: ‘Why Is Everyone So Mean to Me?’ 8 Common Reasons—and What To Do About It, According to Psychologists

This behavior often comes out to "play" after a woman who has not matured emotionally receives constructive criticism. One psychologist explains that these women will frequently deflect and blame their bosses, partners or even the universe for problems."The responsibility only lies with those factors outside themselves, and therefore, those other entities are to blame for their discomfort," states Dr. Gayle MacBride, Ph.D., LP, a psychologist with Veritas Psychology. "There isn’t room for self-reflection, growth or accountability."She shares that phrases emotionally immature people use when blame-shifting include: “They made me mad," and “It’s her fault I had a bad day."

4. Black and white thinking

There's little room for nuance in people who aren't in touch with their emotions."Emotionally immature individuals... tend to see people or situations as all good or all bad," says Dr. Janine O’Brien, Psy.D., a licensed clinical psychologist and owner of Dr. Janine O’Brien, Therapy and Consultation in New York. "Emotionally immature women—and people—may have a more underdeveloped ability to tolerate ambiguity."She notes that this type of thinking often stems from growing up in unstable, inconsistent environments. However, it can continue harmful cycles."This rigid way of thinking can lead to frequent idealizing or devaluing others, making it difficult to sustain balanced, secure relationships," she adds.

Boundaries have become more socially acceptable. However, people who haven't "grown up" emotionally may still find them challenging."Emotionally immature people will often struggle to create or hold healthy relationship boundaries or confuse boundaries with requests," Dr. MacBride says. "Consistently setting boundaries that are too soft or too rigid can be a path to people-pleasing or defensive armor."If it helps, here's how she defines a boundary: "A boundary is something that is in your control—a request is something that you ask of someone else."Related: 7 Behaviors That People-Pleasers Don’t Even Realize They’re Doing, a Psychotherapist Warns

6. Confusing control with safety

People with emotional maturity issues also misunderstand safety, sometimes using it interchangeably with control. Frequently, emotionally immature women display this behavior if they have other mental health concerns. "When uncertainty rises, emotionally immature women often over-plan, micromanage or pressure others to conform," Dr. McGeehan reports. "These behaviors mask anxiety, but they also stifle authentic connection and trust."She reminds people that the hard truth is that we cannot control what other people say or think.Related: 10 Things Classy Women Never, Ever Do in Public, According to an Etiquette Expert

A lack of control and even constructive feedback can breed sadness, anger and frustration—three emotions that do not sit well with women who haven't developed emotionally. In fact? These women prefer not to sit with these feelings at all."Rather than sitting with their feelings, emotionally immature people might distract, rationalize or minimize what’s going on," Dr. O’Brien notes. "The avoidance provides short-term relief but keeps them disconnected from their emotional reality. This may also stem from growing up in families or environments that did not allow for these emotions to be expressed."Related: People Who Were Told They Were 'Too Sensitive' as Children Usually Develop These 14 Traits as Adults, Psychologists Say

8. Conflict avoidance

The internal invalidation can have external side effects, too, including avoiding hard conversations. Dr. McGeehan especially sees conflict-avoidance in women."Rather than naming discomfort directly, they hope tension will fade on its own," Dr. McGeehan says. "Even though the whole time they are drowning in said tension. People like to think that this 'keeps the peace,' but it’s always lighting your own peace on fire and ultimately leads to resentment and disappointment."Related: 8 Toxic Personality Traits To Watch Out for in Yourself and Others, According to Psychologists

Letting emotions fester can cause explosions. Or? Some people who haven't matured emotionally may default to angry outbursts when they feel slighted. "Instead of pausing to process feelings, emotionally immature people might lash out, shut down or withdraw," Dr. O'Brien shares. "The intensity of their reactions can be connected to an inability to self-soothe or regulate, which can further lead to conflict or miscommunication."Related: How To Stop Worrying That Someone Is Mad at You, According to a Psychologist

10. Attention-seeking during conflict

Some women who haven't matured emotionally avoid conflict at all costs. Others act as if they relish it. They may not, but Dr. MacBride says that attention-seeking in conflict is a common way to seek connection. However, it usually backfires."The primary way some people feel close to others is if there are intense emotions going on," she explains. "In these relationships, people will pick fights and engage in drama as a way to seek closeness or reassurance from their relationship partner. It works, in the short term at least. Over time, it erodes trust and causes emotional exhaustion."Related: 5 Unexpected Signs *You* Might Be the Toxic One in a Relationship—Plus, How To Break Free From the Behaviors

Dr. McGeehan says some women will choose external validation over regulation every time."Instead of soothing themselves for whatever the root issues are, they depend on constant reassurance from others," she shares. "This external focus leaves them emotionally dependent and disconnected from their internal sense of stability."She points out that common phrases among women with high external validation needs include "Do you still love me?" and "Are we still friends, even though I said no to this event?"Related: If You Can’t Relax When Someone Is Upset With You, a Psychotherapist Says You Probably Possess These 9 Traits

12. Weaponizing vulnerability

Yes, vulnerability is critical to authentic relationships, but only if it's used appropriately."Sometimes, emotional immaturity shows up as oversharing or using emotion to manipulate closeness," Dr. McGeehan says. "While it may seem like honesty, it often serves as a strategy to gain control rather than mutual understanding."Related: 7 Subtle Signs of Manipulation, According to a Psychologist

A lack of empathy, a key pillar of emotional maturity, is a red flag."[Emotionally immature women] may be so caught up in their own emotions that they overlook or dismiss how others feel," Dr. Mazer explains. "It’s not always intentional, but it still leaves people feeling unseen."Related: If You Can Relate to These 12 Things, You Might Be ‘Emotionally Stunted,’ a Psychologist Says

1. Build a daily practice of emotional check-ins

This practice is critical to progressing toward greater emotional maturity. Dr. McGeehan says that it involves pausing to name what you feel without judgment. You could spend this pause journaling or tuning in to body cues that signal stress or discomfort throughout the day."This pause trains emotional awareness," she explains. "We can’t change what we aren’t aware of."Related: 6 Inner Child Wounds That Affect Adult Relationships, According to a Psychologist

Dr. MacBride suggests using "I feel" and "I need" "I" statements. She says, "I feel" labels the emotion ("I feel anxious and embarrassed). "I feel" statements name your need ("I could really use some reassurance right now")."For a real A+ start the statement with a compliment about the other person," she adds. "This helps remind you about what is great about them, but also signals to them that you are coming from a place of liking and respect, not blame and anger."

3. Take responsibility

Relationships can survive ruptures if there's repair."Owning your mistakes is important," Dr. Mazer notes. "Take responsibility without beating yourself up. Say, 'I messed up, and here’s what I’ll do differently next time.' Then, follow through. This builds self-respect and shows others you’re willing to grow.Up Next:

Related: 7 Things Emotionally Intelligent Women Do When Someone Tries to Gaslight Them

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