Nobody breathe quite yet, because we don’t want to jinx it, but it looks like the US state visit seems to be going quite… well. Both speeches last night from King Charles and President Trump were suitably convivial, flattering and friendly. As far as we know, Trump hasn’t even made any (more) comments about having fancied the late Princess Diana.
We’re in real danger of finishing this thing without a single major disaster – largely, because everyone involved seems to have decided to play nicely and pretend to be best friends. The snide tweets and slanging matches about freedom of speech and “lawless London” seem to have been forgiven, if not forgotten – and a convivial atmosphere is reigning (pun fully intended). And you know who deserves more praise for this parade of civility than anyone else? Two women, who I’m fairly sure would rather be somewhere else: Melania Trump and Queen Camilla.
Never has the price of marrying a rich, powerful man seemed quite so heavy as it did when I saw the planned itinerary. Today, Donald Trump and Sir Keir Starmer will spend the morning viewing the Sir Winston Churchill archives before holding a bilateral meeting, followed by a business reception hosted by Chancellor Rachel Reeves, before a joint press conference at Chequers. And what will their wives be doing, while they’re looking at war memorabilia and talking about the economy? Playing with dollies.
Camilla and Melania, left, view Queen Mary’s Dolls’ House at Windsor Castle (Photo: Aaron Chown/PA)Well. They’ll be using their time together at Windsor to view Queen Mary’s Dolls’ House – understood to be the largest dolls’ house in the world, complete with (hold on to your hats) running water and electricity. After that, they’ll take an equally scintillating trip to visit the Royal Library. It’s unclear how either woman will be expected to recover from a morning of such high-octane fun.
I’ve always had a soft spot for Camilla. Despite the back-story between her and Charles, there’s just something inherently likeable about her. I can’t help trusting her, because she’s the kind of woman who’d know how to nurse an unwell labrador. If you ended up on her doorstep with a broken heart, she’d make you a gin and tonic (which was more gin than tonic) and then tell you to buck up your ideas. There’s a cheerful, weather-beaten stoicism about Camilla, which I love.
Similarly, despite being married to a man for whom I have no great love, I’ve also got an affection for Melania. I like the fact that she makes absolutely no effort to support her husband’s political career beyond the bare minimum. So, the idea of these two women – who both ended up in surprising positions of power by dint of who they married – having to spend their morning looking at a dolls’ house (not even allowed to take all the bits out to rearrange them) makes me rather cross.
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Was there really nothing else that Melania and Camilla could have done – nothing more meaningful, or interesting, or (at the absolute least) fun? Surely, they could have popped into Harvey Nichols for a bit of shopping? Isn’t there a pub they could have kicked their heels in, while their husbands get on with the thorny business of pretending to like each other? If we can’t have a world where the microphones are being used by an equal mixture of men and women, can we at least have one in which Queen Camilla and the First Lady get to spend their Thursday morning getting pissed and sharing a Marlboro Gold?
I admit that my dream of Melania becoming an advocate for British trade via a night out at Mahiki is an unlikely one. But there is something real – and frustrating – about the optics of this visit. I realise that these women are part of the state visit as “plus ones”, that they are not statespeople and have no formal role to play here beyond entertaining each other, but it’s just so depressing. Must we – once again – watch a group of men speaking publicly about the state of their nations, while their wives stand silently in the background?
If we are to persist with having the kind of democracy where wives (or husbands, but if we’re being honest with ourselves, almost always wives) are part of a package deal, can’t we find something more useful for them to do? Something meaningful? Do we really think that Kamala Harris’s husband, Doug, would be expected to go and marvel at a dolls’ house with running water, if his wife had won the election?
Somehow, I think not.
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