Emotional intelligence is developed with time and experience, but experts say that there are some surefire signs you're an empath who's highly aware of yourself and the people around you. Research even suggests that being emotionally intelligent may protect against emotional distress that can come with certain career fields. Whether you're in the workplace or are in a relationship with someone who needs extra reassurance, the skills of someone emotionally attuned are incredibly useful. Experts even say that if you notice certain social cues, you have higher emotional intelligence than most people.From the phrases others use to their body language and facial expressions, someone who's emotionally advanced will easily identify the feelings of others and respond accordingly. Not only that, they're completely attuned to their own emotional cues and pitfalls. Licensed psychologist, founder and CEO of Growing Self Counseling and CoachingDr. Lisa Marie Bobby, PhD, says, "Emotional intelligence isn't just about being tuned into others—it’s also about self-awareness and self-regulation."Ahead, experts share more on what exactly it means to be emotionally intelligent and how you can tell if you fall under that umbrella.Related: 9 Empathic Phrases To Adopt To Be a Better Listener, According to a Psychologist
Behavioral health expert and senior research scientist at EDC Shai Fuxman explains, "Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize, understand and manage one’s own emotions, as well as to identify and respond to the emotions of others," he explains. "It includes skills such as effectively regulating stress and showing empathy in interpersonal interactions." Having a high level of emotional intelligence also means you're able to pick up on subtle social cues and nuances when it comes to the emotional reactions of others. In fact, Fuxman says it's a vital skill to have in the workplace. "Leaders and managers who possess high emotional intelligence are not only better at managing their own emotions, but also excel at supporting team members and fostering positive, productive relationships," he explains.Related: 16 Things People With High Emotional Intelligence Often Say, According to Psychologists
What Are Some Characteristics of Someone With High Emotional Intelligence?
Having strong emotional intelligence means that you're highly self-aware and able to easily pick up on the emotions of others. Fuxman says that a key sign that you have high emotional intelligence is that you're attuned to emotional cues—you recognize when someone is upset, happy or excited, and you also know how to offer meaningful support in emotionally charged situations, "including knowing what to say when someone is struggling," he adds.Beyond reading the emotions of others, he explains that you show a high degree of emotional intelligence if you demonstrate strong perspective-taking skills, describing these skills as "the ability to interpret complex social situations, understand the viewpoints of everyone involved and develop solutions that are sensitive to each person's needs. This coordination of different perspectives is key to building and maintaining strong relationships."Related: 12 Common Habits of People With High Emotional Intelligence, According to Psychologists
One of the surefire signs of emotional intelligence is that you notice other people's microexpressions. Microexpressions are brief, easy to miss, and often completely involuntary expressions that reveal how someone is really feeling deep down. Dr. Francheska Perepletchikova, PhD, tells Parade that gestures and expressions are just as important in communication as words."When it comes to face to face encounters, communication isn’t just the meaning of the words we speak," she explains. "The tone in which they're said, the way we gesture when speaking, the disconnect between our expression and our claims all contribute to a fuller picture and intuitive understanding of what’s really being spoken even if it's never said out loud."According to Dr. Perepletchikova, those with higher levels of emotional intelligence not only gauge someone’s basic expression, they pick up on slight changes in a person's smile or a hint of crow's feet when talking about something they truly love. "Microexpressions can reveal an entirely new dimension to a person and shed light on their motivations and intentions that go unspoken in their otherwise carefully reasoned and censored responses," she adds.
2. You notice the posture and gestures of others
Similar to microexpressions, Dr. Perepletchikova says that posture and gestures can reveal additional information on someone's state of mind that expression alone can't hide."A person might be adept at keeping a poker face, but fails to notice their finger tapping at their side when lying, or a natural lean into their left leg when truly comfortable," she shares. "While the implication of these gestures might not be immediately obvious like a facial expression is, an individual with a high level of emotional intelligence will begin to intuitively see patterns in how a person acts and piece together what they may actually imply over the course of their interactions."Related: 6 Toxic Phrases Emotionally Intelligent People Notice Before Anyone Else, According to Psychologists
To complete the triad of key nonverbal cues, Dr. Perepletchikova explains that those who are emotionally intelligent can accurately assess someone's tone of voice and speech patterns which may reveal that there's more to someone's words than they're implying."An individual with high emotional intelligence doesn’t just notice overall tone," she says. "They pick up on someone speaking faster and louder or a change in their diction. They may notice someone’s accent turning heavier, or if they suddenly go into a flow state instead of sounding like they’re reading off a script."Dr. Perepletchikova says that these are the kinds of subtle social cues the average person may not notice, but are obvious to an emotionally intelligent individual. But importantly, beyond noticing, they also care about what these cues can mean.Related: 10 Phrases ‘Poor Communicators’ Often Use in Everyday Conversation, According to Psychologists
4. You're able to pick up on when someone needs space
Being emotionally intelligent means you notice when someone needs space or wants their boundaries respected. Dr. Perepletchikova says that empaths are often highly emotionally intelligent and are able to pick up on this."An individual with high EI doesn't merely know when giving silence and space is necessary—they allow it to happen," she explains. "Emotional Intelligence isn't just noticing other's emotions but also understanding how to handle one's own."If you're an empath, it's easy to fall into the trap of wanting to "fix" the problems of others without giving them the space they need to sort themselves out. Someone who is highly emotionally intelligent will assess their own role in the situation (and their own triggers like needing to fix other's problems) and take a step back if they feel that the individual needs time and space.
5 Common Traits of Emotionally Intelligent People
Accepting constructive criticism from others with grace is a key component of being emotionally intelligent. Dr. Perepletchikova shares that emotionally intelligent individuals have a better capacity to handle disagreements and feedback of this nature.She says, "They are generally more willing to accept their own pitfalls and can better regulate their own emotions. Instead of screaming back or refusing to acknowledge what was said, they are more likely to listen, process what is and isn't factual, and then learn from the experience. If an accusation is baseless, they can maintain composure and handle the situation level-headedly. If there's some truth to the critique, they don't automatically generalize that to mean they're a total failure or are being treated unfairly. In that way, emotional intelligence allows a person to be more effective in handling adversities, regardless of the rest of their smarts. They don't need to win every battle."Related: 7 Signs Someone Feels ‘Emotionally Isolated,’ Even Around Loved Ones, According to a Psychologist
2. You listen to the feedback of others and learn from your mistakes
Whether it's constructive criticism or general feedback from others, Dr. Perepletchikova says that emotionally intelligent people are able to accept it and learn from any mistakes that were made."Those who reject criticism or don't particularly care about the effect of their actions on others are not likely to learn from experiences," she reveals. "As individuals with high EI tend to keep their emotions in check and empathizes with how others feel in response to how they act, they’re better able to listen to someone's suggestions or requests and actionably adapt how they behave."This doesn't imply that you're a pushover, it just means that you've spent more time understanding and regulating your own emotions. Dr. Perepletchikova says it means you have more self-confidence and are less likely to let others exploit you on the basis of your vulnerabilities.
Like Dr. Perepletchikova mentioned previously, emotionally intelligent people don't feel the need to prove themselves or "win" in a conversation. This means you have the ability to de-escalate a situation with ease, whether that's between others in the workplace or in a disagreement you might be having."Understanding others' emotional states and boundaries can help calm an otherwise explosive encounter or cue an individual when it's the right time to leave an interaction completely," she adds. "They know how to pick their battles if there's no obvious route towards peace."Related: If You Use These 3 Phrases, You Have Higher Emotional Intelligence Than Most, Psychologists Say
4. You never demean someone else's joy
Dr. Perepletchikova says this is a big one. Someone who is highly emotionally intelligent never demeans someone else's joy. You allow someone to speak about niche hobby or passion and you encourage them rather than shut them down."Positivity can be met with negative reactions from people who either want to make every situation about themselves or feel threatened by others' passions because it makes them insecure in some way," she tells Parade. "Knocking others down becomes a malignant coping strategy for an artificial and temporary feeling of superiority. An individual with high EI doesn't usually have such a need. They positively cope with their insecurities and are instead happy to see others happy. They have no need to ruin the mood, and don't feel threatened by praising others or engaging with what they love. And if someone’s insistent need to share does annoy them, they'll be sure to say something in a way that's constructive instead of destructive."
5. You show and feel genuine empathy for the situations of others
While Dr. Perepletchikova says that anyone can train themselves to be more perceptive of nonverbal cues, not everyone can express consistent genuine empathy for someone else's situation. If you do this, you're highly emotionally intelligent. "Individuals with a high amount of emotional intelligence don't only intuitively latch onto nonverbal social cues but actually care about what they mean for someone," she says. "The subtleties of these cues are more noticeable to them precisely because they can put themselves in another's shoes and experience their emotional weight alongside them."She also adds that an individual with high EI won't only notice if someone is acting differently, but will likely go out of their way to ask if they're alright or offer help when needed. "They won’t immediately try to fix someone else's problems or give unsolicited advice. Instead, they'll just listen to what they have to say without speaking over them and validate their distress. They'll tend to relate to a person and make them more comfortable with sharing their own similar problems and experiences, not to indebt someone, but out of genuine compassion. Their empathy does not come behind a paywall of 'if I help you, you'll help me.' An emotionally intelligent individual usually just wants to help."
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Sources:
Shai Fuxman, behavioral health expert and senior research scientist at EDCDr. Lisa Marie Bobby, PhD, licensed psychologist, founder and CEO of Growing Self Counseling and CoachingDr. Francheska Perepletchikova, PhD, licensed psychologist and founder of Child DBTHence then, the article about 4 social cues emotionally intelligent people always notice was published today ( ) and is available on Parade ( Saudi Arabia ) The editorial team at PressBee has edited and verified it, and it may have been modified, fully republished, or quoted. You can read and follow the updates of this news or article from its original source.
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