Drew Barrymore is a new contributor for Us Weekly. Below, the actress, talk show host and businesswoman gives advice to two readers:
Your questions answered, with love from me to you!
@amatorilove writes: Dear Drew, How can I finally forgive myself for the person I was and mistakes I made while in survival mode?
I love this question so much because I have to deal with it all the time. I feel that I’ve made so many mistakes, and it just echoes all my fears when I look at my two daughters. Like, I really don’t want them to go through any of the stuff I did, and yet, I can’t work from fear. I have to use all my knowledge and life experience to navigate parenting two girls. Maybe I was built for this? Maybe all my mistakes helped me learn the lessons of my own personal rights and wrongs, and I might not have the moral compass I have if I hadn’t gone through those things.
I also take a lot of responsibility for what I’ve done. I own it, and I don’t blame others. I admire people who had it together early on — maybe they came from a good family or they’re people who just seem to have such a natural decency about them. It didn’t take trial by fire for them to become emotionally rational people. Those are my heroes, the ones I’ve learned from and followed.
We can become the person we always wanted to be. Even if it takes longer than we thought. But we also have to use our past as our strength, not our weakness. You lived! You learned! Now go take all that wisdom and fly. Don’t let it hold you back. And try not to beat yourself up. It’s such an easy trap. We can’t waste any more time. I’m guessing we’ve all repented and put in the time to figure a lot out. So let’s try to be proud. I’m sure you have much to be proud of, so today, focus on that.
Love, Drew
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@veerobles22 writes: Dear Drew, What was the toughest lesson to learn in your career when it came to business?
I’m still learning lessons in business all the time. I’ve learned that not everything will be embraced or a success. I’ve learned that unless I’ve really put in the hours, nights, weekends, it won’t happen by osmosis or hope. I’ve learned that I need a partner. I believe we don’t accomplish much on our own, and I love someone’s motivation and skills, whether they’re like mine or not.
I’ve learned that every single person matters and deserves respect and appreciation. Things would fall apart without them. I’ve learned that if there’s a fire in you, don’t try to put it out! Let it burn and fuel your passions. That will make the nights and weekends easier.
And if you can somehow work with friends — whether you make them at work or bring them in — it makes all the difference. Being with people you love and laugh with can be the difference between true enjoyment and feeling like you’re stuck in the grind. Having someone at work you personally like is a game changer. Even if you need to seek someone out and foster a connection, you have nothing to lose.
When things go well, it’s miraculously rare and needs to be celebrated. I used to keep my head down and do the work, but not feel the joy of accomplishment. I don’t want to let that pass me by as much in the future. I guess my mission is to bring as much joy into work as possible. And I hope with all my heart that you find what makes you happy because you deserve it.
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