There is something about leaving my home in London that resets everything for me. I think it’s the anonymity.
Or maybe it’s the quiet hope that in a new place, I might just meet someone who sees me differently. Not through the usual perceptive filters of career, postcode or curated Instagram feed, but rather for who I am when I am in transit, exploring new horizons and new experiences.
This July, I have been on the move more than usual: travelling to Switzerland for the women’s European Championships football tournament, more football in Morocco for the women’s African Nations Cup, and then for an Afrobeats music festival in Japan – one of my favourite countries in the world.
My travels are always more work than leisure but a privilege, nonetheless. It’s been a whirlwind working on ITV as a broadcaster and interviewing people who live between cultures for my new podcast series where I interview people about travel and culture: Hyphenated People.
And in between work and travel, I’ve been thinking a lot about whether travel – real, open-hearted travel – is one of the last true spaces to meet someone romantically. Romance on the road strips away the layers we wear at home – the job titles, the social circles, the performance of who we think we should be. When I travel my curiosity is peaked and I am open. You’re not looking to impress, you’re just being. That’s where authenticity resides – and if someone sees you in that authenticity and connects with you there, a more meaningful human connection is inevitable.
It’s a question I’m often asked: “You travel so much – haven’t you met someone yet?” As if Heathrow were a dating app with a BA singles lounge!
Travel strips things back for me. I am more curious. Less guarded. Less busy performing the version of myself that people expect every day. I sit next to strangers on trains and planes, and ironically that’s when people get to see the most honest version of me.
For example, 15 years ago, I met one of my best friends on a plane to Washington. We hadn’t spoken before, but Jess and I spent the entire eight hour flight talking family, politics, love life and putting the world to rights, instead of falling asleep like everyone else on the plane. We had had a higher chance of meeting each other at Chelsea FC Women given we had both worked there previously – but as fate would have it we found a deeper connection and friendship on a random flight instead. We are close friends to this day.
On a recent business trip to Egypt, I met a smart woman on the plane who travelled the world managing the construction sites of hospital buildings. She had lived in New Zealand for several years but grew up in Scotland and now lives in the UK. After some initial small talk about where to fit her bag under the plane seat, I had an unforgettable conversation with her that ranged from how good olives are for your brain to ancient history in Egypt, our next destination. The following day we met for lunch and enjoyed the incredible new history museum in Cairo.
On my first trip to Japan in September last year, I had a moment in the narrow traditional streets of Kyoto where I felt completely at peace. You know the feeling – watching the world carry on around you in a language you don’t speak and a rhythm that isn’t yours. It reminded me of the beauty of anonymity, a welcome break from the scrutiny and goldfish bowl-like feeling I get from existing as a public figure in the UK. It creates an emotional availability and peace we sometimes forget we have when we’re always on the move for work or goals.
Next, I’ve got a safari in Tanzania to look forward to with another close friend in August. We have both had challenging times this year, during which we’ve leaned on each other through phone calls, voice notes (more like personal podcasts!) and WhatsApp messages. It didn’t take long for us to come to the collective decision that the solution to all our problems would be… travel. Specifically, a safari that would provide us with a soul-filling perspective that many say only Africa brings.
It seems I have succeeded in meeting the most wonderful friends on my global travels. But now I have those connections, it feels like it’s time for me to find the one thing that’s missing from my life – I’m hoping for a serendipitous encounter with a romantic partner. Wish me luck!
In any case, my post-football career travels have shown me how many of us live in that in-between space, like a hyphen exists between words – between cultures, expectations and multi-heritage backgrounds. As a British-Nigerian women, I would consider myself a “hyphen” that has so often felt like I need to balance out two competing identities, British and Nigerian, without fully belonging to one or the other. The common tendency to make a binary choice between hyphenated identities falls away when travelling.
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Travelling to Nigeria every year for the past five years has changed me. I have become much more rooted in the essence of who I am, knowing full well there is no choice between a traditional British roast dinner and Nigerian jollof rice – I embrace and love both! And maybe relationships and love, like identity, are things which reveal themselves more fully when we’re brave enough to travel elsewhere and let “elsewhere” change us.
Is travelling a good way to meet someone? I think it’s one of the best. Not just because of who you can meet, but because of how you meet them. You meet someone while being the version of yourself that’s most curious, most alive, most unfiltered, least guarded.And if even you don’t meet someone, you usually enjoy an extended version of yourself that has grown from another travel experience – and that’s no small thing.
This week I have been…
Travelling… I went to Zurich in Switzerland to watch England’s Lionesses reach the semi-final of the Euros, after a nail-biting penalty shoot-out against Sweden. Next up was Casablanca in Morocco to attend the Women’s African Nations Cup as an ambassador. Travelling globally for women’s football is a blessing!
And of course, I ended the month back in Basel, Switzerland for yet another European Championship final for England Lionesses v Spain. But this time, we won. I was, of course, absolutely thrilled. The Lionesses are incredible.
On plane journeys, I’ve been listening to the podcast The Rest is Politics. It is my daily fix of political commentary, which is critical at this moment in global geopolitics. As a global citizen, I want to be informed and educated on politics from a balanced, fair and factual standpoint, outside of the social media realm.
Watching… Forever on Netflix, which is the love story of two young black teenagers in high school about to go their separate ways and go to college. It is a beautiful series that has made me feel quite lovestruck and made me reminisce about my teenage romances.
I’m also reading a book: In Black and White about a young working-class mixed race female barrister and her journey to the criminal bar. In law school, I had a desire to be a barrister but ended up choosing professional football instead. That said, I must say this book is engaging my curiosity of whether I should convert my solicitor qualifications and pursue the Bar! There are interesting parallels to draw between the male-dominated world of football and the Bar.
Visiting… the National History Museum. My mum and I went to David Attenborough’s “Our Story” display. It is an incredibly immersive experience that I’d highly recommend. The immersive projections weren’t just visuals it is a transformative experience with 360° projections, a stirring original score and real-world footage. It felt raw and honest, akin to the rise of humankind, making me and mum feel part of something bigger.
Eni has launched travel, heritage and culture interview series Hyphenated People in collaboration with WhatsApp Channels.
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