Peter Moore: Six Steps to a Cooler Colorado
Does climate change make your blood boil? Literally? Chill out with these temp-tested strategies for our fiery state.
Peter Moore
ON A RECENT WEDNESDAY AFTERNOON IN DENVER my wife and I were trapped. The temperature had soared to 104°, the Denver Art Museum was closed, and the Botanic Garden slammed its gates at 2pm for a private event.
So our coolest options were eclipsed, and sun shone with actual malice.
In a panic, we ducked into a cavernous, shadowy building called a “movie theater.” It was devoid of people. Which is weird because they actually show movies in there! And the AC was sublime!
It made me wonder. Are there other cool spots and chill strategies we’re overlooking in our heat-stroked state? For instance…
CHILL STRATEGY #1: That awesome cheese emporium in Longmont, where the camembert would run off with the brie, were it not for their refrigerated cases.
CHILL STRATEGY #2: The temperature dips 5° for every one thousand feet in elevation. Colorado is all about elevation! Drive uphill! And don’t come back down until October.
CHILL STRATEGY #3: The average low temperature in Denver at night is thirty degrees cooler than the average high during the day. Ipso facto: you need to become a nighthawk! Think of the cool denizens of the dark you’ll meet, in their frigid haunts!
CHILL STRATEGY #4: Now that the Safeway strike is over, you can inhabit a 24-hour grocery store—guilt-free. They’re always too cold!
CHILL STRATEGY #5: You’re aware of the risk of dogs in hot cars. But where there’s risk, there’s opportunity as well.
CHILL STRATEGY #6. Enroll in driver’s ed. Job prospects galore, next winter!
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