Parents and carers rejoice: you did it. You got to the end. Both you and those little people you’ve fed, clothed, watered and ferried here, there and everywhere for the last 10 months have survived. You deserve all the flowers, all the wine, all the chocolates, all the praise for reaching the end of the obstacle course otherwise known as the school year.
When you sit and think about it, it’s crazy that we do this whole school thing without someone giving us some kind of step-by-step survival guidebook. At no other point in our lives are we ever just left to fend for ourselves like this.
Where on Earth is the tech billionaire taking on the task of developing a product where we input our daily needs and wants, and our kids’ needs and wants, and the app just tells us the right thing to do: what to feed them, how to discipline them, how to ensure they’re hitting their milestones, making sure they’re reading enough, eating the right things before and after school, doing homework, all while staying sane etc?
Nowhere, that’s the reality. We’ve been left in the middle of the minefield that is the 190 days of parenting required for these bundles of joy while they’re at school – in my case, while also holding down a job. But instead of any tangible help, we’ve been left to the wolves in search of guidance: the parenting influencers.
Oh, parenting influencers. I clearly spend too many seconds pausing on their content because I’m bombarded by their videos with such frequency that I feel battered and bruised by the onslaught. Everything from fancy snack-box combinations, food prep, discipline, gentle parenting and kids’ yoga, to trying to sell me nonsense products they’ve been paid to flog. The list is honestly endless.
It’s all delivered with a fresh blow-dry, perfect make-up and manicured nails. Meanwhile, my legs have been screaming very loudly for a wax for weeks. Conversely, my brows have given up begging to be threaded: they’ve run out of energy. And my kids are so utterly exhausted as they crawl to the end of term, that I consider it a real insight into what new hell my life will be when their hormones kick in at secondary school.
So, all hail the parenting OG: Supernanny Jo Frost. This week she posted on her Instagram about the latest fad to really take off in parenting influencer land the past few years: gentle parenting. Jo said: “Gentle parenting, what a marketing s**t show. I gave you what you needed two decades ago, emotional intelligence and boundaries with consequences. This is the fine balance required. Now look at all these parents confused.” The collective round of applause on her socials was deafening.
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Look, I’m not going to sit here and claim there’s only one way to parent, because that’s simply untrue. But what is true is that we have to start looking at what’s best for our own individual families and situations, and not be swayed by those whose lives can be vastly different from our own. Doing so can make us feel guilty, because when we look at our lives, we realise they’re not the picture-perfect example we’re being shown online. We need to take a moment to pause and think about what impact the constant guilt cycle has on us.
Many of us can spend hours per week online consuming content that can be harmful to our perspective of who we are as parents and carers. It’s true there are some amazing tips and tricks we can learn online. For instance, my kids have cereal a lot less than they did a few years ago – because I get up a bit earlier in the mornings and cook something healthy and fresh.
But in terms of the minutiae of life, work and parenting, guidance will not come from the influencer community. We’ve got to work that bit out for ourselves unfortunately, and keep our fingers crossed that we’re not messing them up.
So on the last day of school, raise a glass to reaching the end in one piece, and remember there’s no such thing as parenting perfection. But do keep your fingers crossed that one day, when Jeff Bezos has stopped sailing the world on his billionaire holibobs, he’ll turn his attention to something that will make our parenting lives that little bit easier.
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