When you become a parent, it can feel almost inevitable that you somehow simultaneously lose all sense of how to be cool. One minute, you think you're up to date on the newest TikTok trend . . . the next, you're looking up why your teen keeps saying "6-7." But if you one day notice your home has become the unofficial headquarters for your children and their friends to hang out, you may have just earned yourself the title of "cool basement parent."
The cool basement parent is someone who creates an environment for their children (and their children's friends) to hang out - yes, sometimes in a basement, but also in whatever communal space is available. And in this case, the term is less about parents actually being with their kids, and more about providing the pizza rolls, comfy couches, working WiFi, or newest game consoles - in addition to a safe and comfortable environment.
Popularized in a thread on the r/Parenting subreddit, the term gained traction when one user shared how becoming the cool basement parent changed their life in ways they never expected. "Yes, our grocery bill is insane, and sometimes the noise gives me a headache, but I know where my kids are and who they're with," the user said. "The most amazing part? These teens actually talk to us with real conversations about their lives, dreams, and worries. That alone is worth all the noise and extra pizza I've bought."
Below, adolescent mental health expert Caroline Fenkel, DSW, adds more on why being a cool basement parent could be beneficial for both you and your children.
Experts Featured in This Article
Caroline Fenkel, DSW, LCSW, is an adolescent mental health expert and the chief clinical officer at Charlie Health, a treatment program for teens and adults struggling with their mental health.
What Is a Cool Basement Parent?
"A cool basement parent is someone who creates a home environment where kids feel comfortable hanging out and bringing their friends," Dr. Fenkel says. More often than not, these parents may embrace the recently trending type C approach: cool basement parents might not manage their kids as closely a type A parent, but they're also not as laid-back as a type B parent.
Instead, the cool basement parent gives kids the space to be independent while also establishing boundaries and rules. "These parents aren't trying to be their kids' best friends," Dr. Fenkel adds. "They're trying to create safety, structure, and connection."
The Benefits of Being a Cool Basement Parent
If you have a hard time keeping a dinner table conversation going with your kids, becoming a cool basement parent can help you see your child's world up close. "You get to observe how they interact with friends, how they handle conflict, and how they behave when they feel safe," Dr. Fenkel says.
"This is a mindset, not a floor plan."Plus, being a cool basement parent can build trust between you and your children. "When a teen knows they can be themselves at home, it strengthens your relationship and gives them a sense of security that extends into other areas of their life," Dr. Fenkel adds.
Perhaps most importantly, being a cool basement parent is great for your children to build emotional resilience. "Having a home environment that's calm, supportive, and open gives teens a place to explore their identity without fear of judgment," Dr. Fenkel says. "It helps them build confidence, regulate emotions, and feel a sense of belonging."
How to Become a Cool Basement Parent
Similar to how you don't need a kitchen table in order to raise a kitchen table family, you don't need a literal basement to become a cool basement parent. "This is a mindset, not a floor plan," Dr. Fenkel says. All you need is a space where your children have privacy but can still be within your reach should something happen or they need anything.
Once you've figured out a space for your children, Dr. Fenkel says becoming a cool basement parent starts with making small, consistent choices. Have some snacks available, learn the names of your kids' friends, and give them space without altogether disappearing. "Let your child know that their friends are welcome and that you're available but not overbearing," Dr. Fenkel says. "That balance is where the magic happens."
When it comes to becoming a cool basement parent, it isn't about wanting to be labeled as "cool" according to your kids' standards. Instead, it's about creating the kind of home they want to come back to. So even though creating an inviting space for your children and their friends may make your basement smell like burnt pizza rolls, it may be worth the smell. At the most, you'll build a stronger relationship with your children. At the very least, you may come to find out what "6-7" actually means.
Related: Why a "Living Room Family" Is What Many Modern Parents Are Striving For Taylor Andrews (she/her) is the balance editor at PS, specializing in topics relating to sex, relationships, dating, sexual health, mental health, travel, and more. With seven years of editorial experience, Taylor has a strong background in content creation and storytelling. Prior to joining PS in 2021, she worked at Cosmopolitan. Read More Details
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