Before Alex Nesbitt’s three-month-old son Rowan was born, the 32-year-old did not know that men could have postnatal depression – then he developed some of its terrifying symptoms.
His wife Chelsea experienced a 26-hour birth with Rowan that left Mr Nesbitt fearful he would lose either one or both of them – even when the family got home. He said he was too scared to leave the house as a result.
“There was a horrible point where I had to pull the emergency cord and the whole ward came running in as they couldn’t find Rowan’s heart rate,” he said.
“Pain relief wasn’t working for Chelsea so it was heartbreaking to see her go through so much pain and feel helpless not being able to do anything. They realised Chelsea had got an infection and were worried it was sepsis.
“I remember the thought flashing through my head about the possibility of having to go home without them and it was terrifying.”
When Rowan was born, he was unresponsive and needed resuscitation, Mr Nesbitt said.
“Chelsea and Rowan had to spend a couple of nights in hospital and the feeling kicked in that I was going home without them. That first night, I parked on the driveway and sat in the car and broke down in tears.”
Postnatal depression is a common problem, affecting more than 1 in every 10 women within a year of giving birth. But it can also affect fathers and partners, according to the NHS.
The specific cause is complex and not fully understood and the NHS says that hormonal changes are just one of many different factors that increase the risk of it developing. Research suggests about 1 in 10 fathers are affected by it, though this figure may be higher for fathers of twins or triplets.
Mr Nesbitt hopes that by speaking about his experience, other new fathers will feel comfortable to talk about their own mental health.
“What went through my head was that as a man, if I said I was struggling with my postnatal mental health, I would just get scoffed at – I didn’t push the baby out or go through pregnancy and carry them for nine months,” he said.
“But it is important for people to understand that men can suffer from postnatal depression too.”
Alex with his wife Chelsea and baby RowanMr Nesbitt sought help from his GP near to the end of his two-week paternity leave when it took him an hour to build up the courage to leave the house for a 10-minute journey to the tip.
After suffering from anxiety attacks, he was eventually signed off work by his doctor for a further five weeks. “The extra time has allowed me to support my wife postpartum, bond with my son, and process what has happened,” he said. “It also allowed me to seek support from my GP and I have started cognitive behaviour therapy. I still have my struggles but thankfully not as bad as those initial weeks.”
Dad-of-two Aidan O’Driscoll said he suffered from suicidal thoughts after the birth of his second son, Max, who is now five.
He said that he put so much pressure on himself to “be the provider” for his wife Terri, Max, and their eldest son Henry, now seven, that he became “completely burnt out and had no energy or enthusiasm for anything”.
Mr O’Driscoll, 41, from Surrey, now writes and presents a podcast about fatherhood, speaking to other men who share similar experiences.
Aidan O’Driscoll with his sons Henry and Max“The biggest challenge around postnatal depression is that men don’t talk about it because they think it is shameful and it’s not a topic they feel they can talk about,” he said.
“Dads need to realise that life is going to get really tough very quickly and be aware of the changes – and not put so much pressure on themselves.”
Campaign groups The Dad Shift and Movember are calling for changes to be made to statutory paternity leave in order to give new fathers more time with their families during the first few weeks of life.
New fathers currently get up to two weeks consecutive statutory leave, paid at £187.18 a week, or 90 per cent of their average weekly earnings, whichever is lower.
Alex Lloyd, the group’s co-founder, said the UK’s paternity provision was the least generous in Europe, bad for both mothers and fathers, because it limited the choices families had about who could return to work and who looked after the children.
“The UK’s rubbish paternity leave is trading dads’ mental health,” he said. “Fathers are being forced back to work before they are ready and when they’re needed most.”
The groups recently surveyed new fathers online and found many had experienced suicidal thoughts in their first year of fatherhood. Of those surveyed, 82 per cent said that improving paternity leave would have benefitted their mental health, the groups said.
Amy O’Connor, global policy lead at Movember, said: “Better paternity leave isn’t just good for families – it is a vital mental health intervention that could spare hundreds of thousands of pounds from poor mental health outcomes.
The Government said it is making paternity leave and unpaid parental leave “day one rights” under the Employment Rights Bill, which is making its way through Parliament.
Read More Details
Finally We wish PressBee provided you with enough information of ( ‘I didn’t think men could have postnatal depression – then it happened to me’ )
Also on site :
- Adorable Elephant Breaks Free From National Park and Heads Right to the Snack Aisle at the Grocery Store
- Chicago Forecast: Pleasant temperatures, mostly cloudy skies ahead of possible evening rain
- A ‘detox’ after Covid vaccination? Experts say it’s nonsense