I’m officially too old to go clubbing. According to TikTok, that is. A number of street interview videos have gone viral over the last months, in which people earnestly answer the question: “How old is too old to go clubbing?” The answer that almost everyone alights on is your late twenties. More than one of them, with an alarming degree of specificity, has confidently zeroed in on the age of 27. “When you get towards that 30 mark,” a young man in a beanie earnestly explained in one clip, “you need to be thinking about mortgages, house…”
Well, I hate to break it to earnest young men in beanies everywhere, but you are perfectly capable of considering a house and mortgage and still go out dancing till the sun comes up.
In fact, I’m 36 and just did the dreaded two-fer (aka two nights out in a row) over the bank holiday weekend. Pre-drinks, dancing till my feet ache, loud conversations with close friends and total strangers in a smoking area, and then a taxi home at 3.45am. I’m sober too – I have a tactical Red Bull to perk me up when I get past the bouncer and then I’m on soft drinks or non-alcoholic beer all night. Trust me when I say: It’s doable.
I fully acknowledge that, for some people in their thirties and beyond, going out clubbing – let alone doing it twice in a row – is the definition of hell. There are probably some people in their twenties who don’t fancy it much either, hence why they’re queueing up to opine about the age-appropriateness of people like me hitting the clubs.
To which I say: Enjoy your Netflix and chill, your hygge, your “soft life era”, or whatever term has sprung up to denote a lifestyle where you’d rather plump for cosy furnishings and nights in on the couch. But, in the immortal words of Come Dine With Me contestant Peter Marsh: “What a sad little life.”
I’m being harsh, though given my love of a late night, it’s understandable that I would rather opt for a crowded dance floor than a solitary takeaway. In fact, I would argue that it is your patriotic duty as a Brit to go clubbing. Nightclubs are as British as Red Arrow flyovers and cream teas – it’s just that nobody thinks of them in that way.
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Read MoreBut the UK is the birthplace of northern soul all-nighters and Blitz club kids. In the 90s, repetitive beats lured thousands of people to illegal raves. The pull to dance in British culture is so strong that South Asian kids snuck out of their homes for decades to put on daytimers – underground bhangra clubs held in the daylight hours so their parents wouldn’t notice.
For generations, the dance floor has been the place where Brits can loosen the stiff upper lip, unshackle themselves from the monotony of the nine to five, and lose themselves in a dark room (or field) where social and class distinctions can be momentarily forgotten.
While clubs – both historically and in the present day – are generally populated by the young, that doesn’t mean there aren’t older folks queueing up at the door or even running the night.
American DJ Seth Troxler recently said that he doesn’t think DJs reach their peak until their mid-30s or even 40s. Princess Julia – a legendary mainstay of London club culture – has been going since 1976. Then there’s the increasing body of scientific evidence that suggests that dancing has neurological and physical benefits – in fact, the former so much so that it is now being used to treat patients with Parkinson’s disease.
As we get older, it might become even more important for our brains and our bodies to go out for a good dance.
I’ll admit that clubbing is more expensive than ever, and the number of clubs is decreasing with alarming speed. The Night Time Industries Association (NTIA) fears that Britain will lose all its clubs by 2030 unless something is done. But that is all the more reason to splash out on the occasional big night out, finances allowing – more than expensive meals or new outfits, it’s the clubs where I made my friends and foes that I remember most.
On my second night out in a row this weekend, I knew when to call it quits when a remix of “You Spin Me Round (Like a Record)” only induced mild back pain as opposed to a euphoric, hands-in-the-air moment the DJ intended. Back-ache in the club, unfortunately, is one of the few things that you can’t escape from in your thirties. For everything else, just remember that age is nothing but a number.
Zing Tsjeng is a journalist, non-fiction author, and podcaster
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