Ben Affleck and Leo DiCaprio dyeing their greys shows men are finally feeling the anti-ageing pressure too ...Middle East

Ben Affleck and Leonardo DiCaprio have recently struck a bold blow for equality. Admittedly it’s not quite the Suffragettes chaining themselves to railings or going on hunger strikes. They’ve dyed their hair.

Let’s be honest, desperate attempts to halt or deny the ageing process have up to this point been mainly the preserve of women. In fact, the perfect example of the power of internalised misogyny is that when I saw Affleck debuting his Just For Men chic, my immediate assumption was that he’d probably done it for a role. Something I have thought about a female celebrity changing her appearance precisely never.

These incredibly high-profile movie stars’ makeovers suggest that the dial has shifted – at last – so it’s no longer solely women who feel the need to try to look youthful in a bid to hang on to their relevancy and their visibility. Who are vulnerable because they’re well aware they’re going to be objectified, and can’t help hoping it goes well.

People will be poring over the photographs of these men with their new barnets, analysing, speculating, just like they do when dissecting pictures of their female counterparts. It used to be absolutely fine for blokes to become silver foxes – they were celebrated for it, deemed sexier than ever, compared with fine wine. Now, evidently, they’re not allowed to any more.

Good. Finally they have a window into the impossible pressures women have faced since the dawn of time, by which point they were probably already far too old. Maybe now they can understand being damned if you age gracefully (ooh she’s let herself go!) and damned if you don’t (what has she had done?).

This ubiquitous discourse about ageing has a trickle down effect, making women everywhere ashamed about ageing – that is, going through a natural biological process, the alternative to which is death. Even when we know someone in the public eye has had work we can’t afford and don’t want anyway, because rationally there is no way they can be the same age as us without a single line on their face, it doesn’t help. The next time we look in the mirror all that flies out of our brains as we accidentally automatically compare and despair.

Of course it’s every human being’s right to choose what they do to themselves, what tweakments or surgeries they have, and if going down that road makes them happy, I’m happy for them. But it is depressing when it seems as though women have been pressured or humiliated into a cul-de-sac they may not have otherwise ventured into.

Leonardo DiCaprio is an unlikely ally. Up until now he’s embodied the theory that you’re as young as the woman you feel, infamously dating women half his age. But hey, all welcome to the cause. What’s also interesting is how he and Affleck emerged into it – as in, unselfconsciously, without even a hint of sheepishness.

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Women no longer know how to age appropriately

It’s endearingly naive that all apparently believe they can suddenly appear with unnaturally black hair, which they completely did not have the last time we saw them, and no one is going to notice or have thoughts. They could just be styling it out – after all, they are both actors. Or is that that these men have been spoilt by previously being permitted the privilege of ageing?

Affleck knows what it’s like to be made fun of, having been the subject of thousands of memes and tabloid stories focusing on his gloomy facial expressions. In 2020 a photograph of him attempting to carry too many takeaways coffees at once went viral, but he recently revealed he laughed at that too.

“Naturally you go, like, ‘OK, maybe I’ll just wear the same outfit every single day, so the pictures won’t be distinguishable,’” he said. “Or maybe, ‘I’ll just look like a slob,’ and I’m like, nope – then you become the sad Affleck meme spilling the coffee. Which I have to say I think is kind of funny.”

In fairness to Ben, ageing is just about the one thing that he hasn’t been ridiculed for. Perhaps his new look is an attempt to keep it that way.

Now that men have some insight into how tough women have it, it’s tempting to suggest we’re all kinder to each other generally, but that’s probably unrealistic. Maybe easier to propose that in future, he or she who without altered hair colour casts the first stone.

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