Let’s face it: There’s always going to be a child who hates to lose more than others. Sure, most kids aren’t happy about losing their favorite board game or video game—who is? But many kids, especially by a certain age, brush it off and move along. However, for some children, losing a game can be quite a big deal and take a huge mental and emotional toll on them. While this can be a teaching moment, what kind of games are healthy or helpful for kids who have issues with losing to help them learn through playing?
Kids who don’t handle a gaming loss well might have a meltdown or tantrum. Maybe they’ll throw things, scream, cry, insult the other players—accusing them of cheating or somehow being at fault for their defeat—or all of the above.
If this sounds familiar, then we have some information that might be helpful. We spoke with a child psychologist about why some children have more explosive reactions than others in the first place, as well as the best type of game for kids who are sore losers. Plus, how these kinds of games help build emotional resilience in kids who have a hard time facing defeat.
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The #1 Type of Game Child Psychologists Recommend for Sore Losers
When it comes to finding the best games for kids who are sore losers, child psychologists recommend cooperative games.
“Games that are helpful for children who have a hard time losing are ones that allow them to experience what it feels like to lose, help them regulate their feelings and teach them pro-social skills that can support their relationships with peers and family members,” says Dr. Leslie A. Lester, PsyD, a licensed psychologist and the Associate Director of the Youth Consultation Service’s Institute for Infant and Preschool Mental Health. “The goal when playing these games is for the child to experience manageable frustration or a challenging feeling with a trusted adult in a safe and supportive environment who can help them work through those feelings, tolerate them and learn to cope in a healthy way.”
They’ve probably played these types of games before, but it’s a good idea to keep them in the closet for a rainy day or when boredom strikes, to lessen the chance of a meltdown (while teaching them valuable lessons).
Related: 11 Popular ’80s Board Games You Probably Forgot About
4 Best Cooperative Games for Kids Who Hate Losing
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1. Chutes and Ladders
We all grew up playing Chutes and Ladders, and perhaps one reason for that is because it’s great for those who are sore losers.
“It’s a great game for young children as they can suddenly be close to winning and then slide backwards, which allows them to manage unexpected challenges,” explains Dr. Lester.
2. UNO
There’s nothing more exciting than shouting “Uno!” whether you’re four or 34.
“The outcome can change quickly when a child may be on the verge of winning and then have to pick up multiple cards,” states Dr. Lester. “It provides small moments of frustration.”
3. Jenga
According to Dr. Lester, the mistakes in Jenga are part of what makes the game fun, as eventually the tower will fall. So is a “loss” really a loss?
“Children must adjust to the situation presented to them by the previous player,” she explains.
4. Origami
Origami isn’t your typical “game,” but it’s an activity kids—especially those who don’t like to lose—might prefer.
“This requires patience, frustration tolerance and could put the child in a situation where they get it wrong and need to start over,” says Dr. Lester.
Why Kids Explode When They Lose—The Child Psychology Behind Being a Sore Loser
If you’re interested in the psychology behind why some kids are sore losers, Dr. Lester has some insights. For starters, some children aren’t good at facing gaming defeat because they have not mastered frustration tolerance.
“This is a skill that is mastered over time,” she states. “They also might not have good emotional regulation in general, but especially related to losing or frustration.”
It’s also worth considering that those who have experienced a degree of trauma related to losing or being left out might be more of a “bad” loser than others.
“Because they internally already feel like a loser because of a traumatic situation that has caused them to identify that way and this game triggers that feeling again, and they explode,” Dr. Lester tells Parade. “Similarly, they could have been bullied and already have an internal narrative that they are a ‘loser’ and so are triggered by losing in a game.”
Lastly, these feelings could be exacerbated if a child is suffering from an anxiety or mood disorder or other underlying sensory, speech and motor differences, according to the child psychologist.
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3 Ways Cooperative Games Build Emotional Resilience for Competitive Play
Now that you know cooperative games can help build emotional resilience, it’s important to understand how and why. Here are a few ways, according to Dr. Lester.
They give children a safe space where they can practice managing difficult feelings and situations in a safe space. They take these experiences out into the real world. They can help children learn to tolerate frustration, regulate their feelings and cope when things don’t go the way they expect.If your child still has outbursts after losing, then you might want to consider seeking professional guidance to help give them the tools they need to better manage and regulate their emotions as they grow and develop.
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Dr. Leslie A. Lester, PsyD, is a licensed psychologist and the Associate Director of the YCS Institute for Infant and Preschool Mental Health.Hence then, the article about if your kid hates to lose child psychologist says this type of game belongs on your shelf was published today ( ) and is available on Parade ( Saudi Arabia ) The editorial team at PressBee has edited and verified it, and it may have been modified, fully republished, or quoted. You can read and follow the updates of this news or article from its original source.
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