This article contains spoilers for ‘The Celebrity Traitors’ finale
The first blow came early in the finale of The Celebrity Traitors, with the murder of “vengeful daddy” – and the only hope the Faithful seemed to have of winning – Michael Sheen. But the Traitors had no choice. He was too close to catching both Maya Jama and King Kenny and he had far too much influence over his fellow Faithful. He had to go.
But after the penultimate episode teased a Maya vs Michael finale duel, I was a little gutted that he wasn’t going to be there. Enter James Blunt, who willingly picked up where Michael left off and correctly pinned Maya as a Traitor in his post-breakfast diary room – but also wrongly presumed that Leigh Anne was among them.
And yet, it was hard to muster up any excitement with the majority of the Faithful so blind to the evidence in front of them. A Traitor win – specifically a Kenny win – was already a foregone conclusion. Or so I thought.
But first, the final mission. It’s always a bit of a farce; the producers aren’t going to hire a helicopter and set up a load of fireworks just for the celebs to fail. But I found myself grinning as I watched Maya, Leigh-Anne and Bash chuck themselves out of a helicopter in the name of not only adding £10,000 to the prize pot but also looking extremely cool. How did we get in a position where a mission is just as thrilling as the final Round Table?
Romesh and Sebastian won the game as Faithfuls (Photo: BBC/Studio Lambert/Paul Chappells)But I’m getting ahead of myself. First there was the final Round Table, in which the Faithful had their last chance to banish a Traitor. And finally, the passion that the entire series had been so far missing began to emerge. As Maya desperately clung onto the flimsiest of defences, putting the correct “perfume theory” down to simple coincidence, and it became clear that the idea that Leigh Anne was dancing with Miranda (a series highlight) was a silly one, there was only one way it was going to go.
So it goes, Maya was banished and – as the rules of the last Round Table dictate – we didn’t even get the satisfaction of her announcing that she was a Traitor. Not only had we been robbed of Michael’s thespian fury at the Endgame, but we had also lost the only Traitor who had managed to stay hidden from the very beginning. Maya’s calm, cool and collected treachery might have made for a more tedious game in the long run, but no-one could say that she wasn’t a brilliant Traitor.
That final showdown, then, was Kenny against an army of Faithfuls. But luckily for them, they still hadn’t a clue and managed to vote out two more of their number before the game ended (spare a thought for the last woman standing, Leigh-Anne, who was genuinely stunned that her apparent best mate Kenny voted her out the first chance he got). The final Traitor was going to walk it.
But then! A screamer from Sebastian in the 90th minute! After Kenny made the deadly mistake of choosing to end the game – surely something only a Traitor would do with so many players still around the table – Bash twigged that something wasn’t quite right. He voted for Kenny, and after coming to a vote tie between the Traitor and Faithful James Blunt, he – one of the youngest and certainly one of the lesser-known celebrities of the series – managed to convince the BBC’s golden boy Romesh Ranganathan to change his mind. Bye bye Kenny, hello £83,000 for the Faithfuls’ charities.
Even the mission was as thrilling as the final Round Table (Photo: BBC/Studio Lambert/Euan Cherry)It’s hard to be a good Traitor, but it’s arguably even harder to be a good Faithful. Bash has spent the entire game stabbing around in the dark, and he’s had his fair share of missteps, voting to banish Faithfuls Myha’la and Joanne McNally twice. But he was also hot on the heels of Traitors Hannah Fry and Maya when he needed to be.
What sets Bash apart from the rest of the celebs is his complete lack of ego. Maya ran into trouble because she ended up, without much effort on her part, the main character of the series – she relished the role of the murderous Traitor until it came to bite her. Michael became so confident in his (correct) accusations that the Traitors had no choice but to off him before he could share any more theories at the next Round Table. And perhaps most heartbreakingly of all, Faithful James Blunt – arguably the best of the bunch throughout the series – let his ego get ahead of him when he decided to vote again in the Endgame, leaving Bash and Romesh no choice but to be suspicious and vote for him to leave.
I have never found myself rooting for the Faithfuls. But in this finale, something changed. The good guys won – and just in time to save the whole show from the depths of predictable mundanity. And so to Bash, a huge thank you. Are you free to play again next year?
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