If you’ve ever laughed at a joke you didn’t fully grasp during a work call, pretended to agree with someone in a higher position than you when you actually had a different opinion or hesitated before sharing a personal preference about music, TV or specific pop culture moments in a Slack message, you likely understand the struggle of wondering how to be authentic at work.
In this professional setting, complicated office politics, biases or dynamics like imposter syndrome can get in the way of genuine connection.
As someone who has spent over 25 years researching authenticity vs. conformity, Patricia Faison Hewlin, PhD, award-winning behavioral scientist and author of the new book Staying True to You: Unlock the Power of Your Middle Self and Live with Confidence, Integrity, and Peace of Mind (released on August 25), has plenty of insights to share about succeeding at work without being fake.
Maybe you struggle with self-expression in your career, crave authentic leadership in your department, or wonder how to network authentically at events and coffee chats—there are countless ways this concern can present itself in workplace culture.
Here, Dr. Hewlin reveals why “faking it” can cause burnout, surprising takeaways from her decades of research on this subject and how to bring your genuine self to work each and every day.
Related: Why ‘Just Be Yourself’ Is Actually Terrible Advice, According to a Behavioral Scientist
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The Psychology of ‘Faking It’ (And Why It Causes Burnout)
“My recent survey of 1,457 full-time employees on workplace authenticity uncovered a surprising paradox about how we navigate self-expression on the job,” Dr. Hewlin tells Parade. “I found that nearly 80% of workers endorse a balanced approach, actively managing authenticity alongside conformity, which reflects the middle self mindset. Yet many of them (45%) reported that they still regularly construct facades of conformity, leading to emotional exhaustion.”
However, this burnout can be avoided with certain tools.
“These findings demonstrate that most individuals do not lack the right mindset—they lack the daily behavioral strategies needed to put the mindset into practice,” she continues. “That is why I wrote Staying True to You. In my book I offer a practical playbook for protecting your mental health, personal integrity and agency at work without resorting to overconforming or weaponizing authenticity.”
As Dr. Hewlin has previously shared with Parade, “Organizational leaders must note that when employees feel forced to create facades, they are far more likely to quit. By understanding this dynamic, we can begin to address mental health and reduce burnout within and outside of the workplace.”
Related: How To Recover From Burnout, According to a Psychologist
Redefining Professionalism: How To Bring Your Authentic Self to Work
Dr. Hewlin reveals a few research-backed recommendations for how to bring your authentic self to work.
Intentionally analyze and reprioritize your values
“I recommend that people ‘back into’ their true values,” she explains. “Instead of picking ideals off a list, look at where you actually invest your time and energy. Someone might say that they value family, but the calendar shows 60-hour workweeks that give little room for family time. Another example is checking off collaboration while only trusting one’s work and taking on work from team members to make sure it is ‘right.’ Being truthful with ourselves will help us understand what really matters and help us identify roles that better align with our values.”
The key is being honest, and looking at patterns of behavior.
“Examining real behavior also prevents people from relying on aspirational values, which are values they want to hold but aren’t actively living them out,” she continues. “When we claim aspirational values as core values, it creates an impossible standard that leaves us feeling fake.”
Identify your conformity thresholds
Dr. Hewlin says, “Ask yourself: How much conformity can I really tolerate? Your threshold is the limit where adapting to workplace expectations stops feeling like a reasonable compromise and starts violating your core values. Reviewing and placing boundaries based on your conformity threshold will help you make intentional rather than fear-based choices.”
Related: 11 Boundaries Every Woman Should Set by 40, According to Therapists
Evaluate value alignment
“Before accepting a job, evaluate value alignment: Observe cultural cues during interviews to ensure a company’s true environment won’t force you past your threshold,” Dr. Hewlin suggests.
She gives an example:
“Let’s consider Adebisi’s experience,” she says. “He is an award-winning engineer facing two job offers. The first was a high-status leadership role managing a department, with more money but little room for being creative in his passion for architectural design. The second was a Senior Engineer role focused entirely on architectural design. By auditing his values, Adebisi recognized his core priority was mastering his craft, not holding power. He also knew his conformity threshold: taking the leadership role would pressure him to create facades of conformity to fit in with the leadership team. So, he declined the management offer and recommended a colleague whose core value was power and who wanted a leadership role.”
Related: 11 Common Behaviors of Authentic People—and One Thing They *Never* Do, According to Therapists
6 Things Everyone Should Know About Workplace Culture
Here are six things Dr. Hewlin wishes more people understood about workplace culture and its impact on employees:
“Encouraging employees to bring their ‘whole selves’ without addressing baked-in organizational preferences for certain forms of authenticity including how employees express their emotions, political preferences, how they wear their hair, and more creates chaos and forces employees to navigate exhausting facades. When employees feel forced to suppress their true values and create ‘facades of conformity,’ it leads to emotional exhaustion, reduced work engagement and a higher likelihood of quitting. Leaders and people whose values and backgrounds aligned with those of the majority possess authenticity privilege due to their power and status; they often mistakenly assume that because being authentic is easy for them, it is equally easy for their employees. Biases around race, gender and culture heavily impact how emotional expression and authenticity are perceived, putting women, people of color, LGBTQ+ individuals and minority viewpoints at greater risk. Authenticity is relational and it requires responsibility if we want to do it well. For employees to thrive, leaders must exercise restraint in their own self-expression to make space for others. Authenticity needs to be discussed more among leaders and employees, identifying what it looks like within the work environment in order to avoid toxic forms, bias or authenticity that disrespects and harms others.”Related: 7 Traits That Separate Emotionally Intelligent Leaders From Everyone Else
2 Surprising Takeaways from Workplace Authenticity Research
In the decades that Dr. Hewlin has been studying authenticity, she tells Parade there are two takeaways, in particular, that tend to surprise people the most.
1. Age often makes a difference
“People have been surprised by the finding that in job-insecure environments, older workers tend to be more authentic than younger workers,” Dr. Hewlin explains. “This often surprises people because the common perception is that younger workers are generally more vocal, however, in a professional setting, younger employees are still learning how to navigate their careers and are therefore more likely to create facades of conformity. In contrast, older workers focus more on legacy and authentic relationships.”
Related: People Who Struggle With Self-Awareness Often Display These 8 Behaviors, Psychologists Say
2. Leaders can impact employees in an unexpected way
“Another surprising finding from my research with Professors Tracy Dumas and Meredith Burnett is that leader integrity can actually influence high levels of facades when employees feel a clash between their values and the organization’s,” she shares. “Having a leader with high integrity doesn’t make them drop their masks. Instead, out of respect for the principled leader, they feel even greater pressure to suppress their true views and fake alignment to fit in.”
Up Next:
Related: 6 Ways We Sabotage Our Own Authenticity Without Realizing It
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Patricia Faison Hewlin, PhD, award-winning behavioral scientist and author of Staying True to You: Unlock the Power of Your Middle Self and Live with Confidence, Integrity, and Peace of Mind.Hence then, the article about how to succeed at work without feeling fake according to a top behavioral scientist was published today ( ) and is available on Parade ( Saudi Arabia ) The editorial team at PressBee has edited and verified it, and it may have been modified, fully republished, or quoted. You can read and follow the updates of this news or article from its original source.
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