Lying is an inevitable part of human nature, and many kids are tempted to double down on a fib when they feel boxed into a corner. For that reason, psychologists have plenty of practical tips on how to handle a dishonest child. They also have valuable insight into why kids lie about small things.
Related: 27 Funny Lies Parents Told Their Kids Growing Up
"This works because it takes the trap out of the moment," Dr. Aldad, CEO of the mental health clinic Mindful Care, says. "You're not testing them; you're inviting honesty. That shift matters more than people realize because it changes what the child is being asked to do. They're not choosing between confession and denial anymore. They're just being given a chance to be truthful with someone who already has the facts."
The 'Entrapment' Mistake: Why Asking 'Did You Do This?' Backfires
When you do happen to know that your child is lying, you may be tempted to ask them, "Did you do this?" But board-certified clinical psychologist Dr. Jenny Yip says this can create an entrapment question.
As children's brains develop, they learn impulse control, emotional regulation and future thinking. She says the threat of danger—punishment, disappointment or losing connection—sparks a change in their behavior.
Dr. Aldad adds that children are wired to avoid "short-term threat over long-term consequence," and says most will lie in that moment when faced with an entrapment question.
Related: ‘I’m a Psychologist, and I’m Begging Parents to Stop Using This 1 Common Phrase’
When kids lie, Dr. Aldad says they're often thinking, "I didn't want to get in trouble, so denying it felt safer."
"Children often believe telling the truth will make things dramatically worse," she says.
2. They want to protect the relationship
"Especially sensitive children may hide mistakes because they cannot tolerate seeing disappointment on a parent's face. For many children, disappointing a parent feels more painful than the mistake itself," she shares.
In these scenarios, Dr. Aldad says children are often trying to protect someone else when they hide the truth from you.
Related: We Asked 3 Child Psychologists What Hobby Is Best for Kids—They All Said the Same Thing
4. They struggle with shame
In other words, shame can create secrecy.
Making mistakes is part of growing up. As it turns out, there's an actual biological reason why kids tend to lie.
Age-by-Age Scripts To Encourage Honesty
Lying is inevitable as your child grows up, but knowing how to address the situation can help guide your child in the right direction. To get you started, we asked the pros to share a few phrases you can use to address common lies.
Age Group: Toddlers (2-4)
The Common Lie: "I didn't spill it."The Psychologist-Approved Phrase: "I can see the juice spilled. Everyone makes mistakes. Let's clean it up together."The Common Lie: "I didn't hit him."The Psychologist-Approved Phrase: "I saw what happened. Let's use our words to express what you were feeling."The Common Lie: "I already finished my homework."The Psychologist-Approved Phrase: "Let's check together. I'm not upset about unfinished homework. I want us to practice being honest."The Common Lie: "My brother/sister did it, not me." The Psychologist-Approved Phrase: "I want to understand what actually happened so I can be fair to both of you."Age Group: Teens (12+)
The Common Lie: "I was at Jake's house last night. I didn't go to a party." The Psychologist-Approved Phrase: "I already know you weren't at Jake's. I'd rather you tell me the truth, even an uncomfortable one, than lose the ability to trust what you tell me." The Common Lie: "I didn't break curfew last night." The Psychologist-Approved Phrase: "I'm not trying to catch you. I'm trying to build a relationship where you can be honest with me."
Making sure your child knows that lying is wrong is your responsibility as a parent. However, there's a delicate balance between teaching them about consequences and reinforcing feelings of shame.
"'You lied about this' lands very differently than 'You're a liar.' The second one tends to become a self-fulfilling label over time," he states.
"If a child lies about screen time, losing some screen privileges makes sense. If they lie about breaking something, helping repair or replace it makes sense. Avoid unrelated punishments that simply increase resentment," Dr. Yip says.
"Correcting a child in front of siblings or friends adds shame on top of the consequence, and shame tends to drive kids toward better lying, not more honesty," Dr. Aldad notes.
"Praise honesty, even when it comes late," Dr. Yip shares. "If your child eventually tells the truth, acknowledge the courage it took. You can still address the behavior while reinforcing honesty. For example: 'I'm really glad you told me. The consequence still needs to happen, and I'm proud you chose to be honest.'"
Related: We Asked 4 Child Psychologists What Actually Motivates Kids—They All Said the Same Thing
Sources:
Dr. Tamir Aldad is a board-certified clinical psychiatrist and the CEO of the mental health clinic Mindful Care.Dr. Jenny Yip is a board-certified clinical psychologist and the author of Hello Baby, Goodbye Intrusive Thoughts.Hence then, the article about child psychologist recommends using this phrase when you know your child is lying was published today ( ) and is available on Parade ( Saudi Arabia ) The editorial team at PressBee has edited and verified it, and it may have been modified, fully republished, or quoted. You can read and follow the updates of this news or article from its original source.
Read More Details
Finally We wish PressBee provided you with enough information of ( Child Psychologist Recommends Using This Phrase When You Know Your Child Is Lying )
Also on site :
- FIFA’s plan to raise billions from investors is sparking a backlash—one insider says Europe is angry because it could change soccer’s balance of power
- Monroe County committees vote to accept $160,000 Operation Stonegarden border security grant despite opposition
- Doc Talk Podcast: Director Sara Dosa On Her Oscar Contender ‘Time And Water’, Elegy For Iceland’s Disappearing Ice