If you’d put yourself into any of those categories, it might have contributed to certain traits you exhibit now, as an adult. Do people-pleasing, self-gaslighting or having walls up sound familiar? Again, those are a few of many examples. They make sense, too: Our childhood experiences can subtly affect us our entire lives. They shape our ways of perceiving and navigating the world.
For further insight, validation and support, a psychologist shares seven common traits of people raised by condescending parents, what you need to know if this sounds like your experience and how to kickstart your healing journey. It’s not full-blown therapy—that’s needed, too—but it’s a start.
Condescending people treat others like they are inferior—and unfortunately, that dynamic can exist in parent-child relationships.
She lists examples of what that might entail, saying the parent might:
Make fun of their child’s question.Be stern when correcting them.Disregard the child’s feelings.Use phrases like: “You’re so sensitive,” “You will understand when your time comes” or “Stop pretending to think you already know this."7 Common Traits of People Raised by Condescending Parents, According to a Psychologist
Besides flat-out making you feel bad in the moment, those experiences could have caused you to develop certain traits in adulthood. Dr. Franklin shares and explains seven key examples.
“As adults, many things that would normally seem like an easy decision to make now create stress for them,” Dr. Franklin says.
2. Fear of self-expression
Whether it’s about clothes, personality or how they talk, adults raised by condescending parents are often afraid to express themselves.
These adults are like chameleons in that they can mold themselves, typically into the people they think others want them to be. Their main goal is to keep others happy.
They may put their own needs aside in the process, she continues, in hopes of preventing others’ judgment or criticism.
4. Perfectionism
Do you have a big fear of “messing up” or sounding uninformed? Do you feel inadequate and fight to ensure everything you do is mistake-free? You might be a perfectionist, and you might have grown up with condescending parents.
Unfortunately, that pressure can create loads of stress and even lead to burnout.
Dr. Franklin explains that the critical parent “may have criticized them and made them believe that everything they did was wrong,” and that’s why the adult might now “react when they hear [someone] criticize anything about them.”
6. Difficulty trusting themselves
What’s particularly sad about this is it can “make it difficult for a child to develop a sense of self,” according to Dr. Franklin. For example, they might not know what they truly feel, want or dislike because of that implanted self-doubt.
7. Overexplainers
“This is due, in part, to the fact that many times as an adult, you will feel like others do not understand your feelings,” Dr. Franklin says. That may feel especially true when that was the case in your childhood.
If there’s one thing Dr. Franklin wants these adults to know, it’s this: “Your voice was never what caused problems for you. What was the problem is how you have been treated.”
Additionally, she encourages talking to a therapist, practicing making small decisions and honoring your needs. Healing is possible for you, too—don’t forget or second-guess that.
Related: 9 Things Toxic Parents Hate (and Why Adult Children Should Absolutely Still Do Them)
Source:
Dr. Shannon Franklin, PsyD, is a licensed psychologist with Element Q Healing.Hence then, the article about kids who grow up with condescending parents often develop these 7 traits as adults psychologist says was published today ( ) and is available on Parade ( Saudi Arabia ) The editorial team at PressBee has edited and verified it, and it may have been modified, fully republished, or quoted. You can read and follow the updates of this news or article from its original source.
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