When it comes to raising children, parents are often told that it takes a village. But sometimes, even the most loving villages can become overcrowded with conflicting opinions and various parenting styles. Because of this, some adults are choosing to adopt a new strategy called nacho parenting - an approach that encourages folks to step back rather than step in.
Nacho parenting is the shortened term for "not your kids, not your problem." (Yes, it's what "mind your business" would be as a parenting style.) And though it can be a strategy applied in any scenario that involves a child that isn't yours, it's most specifically used to define stepparent roles. Below, child psychologist Sandra L. Whitehouse, PhD, explains more on nacho parenting and whether it's an effective parenting style.
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Sandra L. Whitehouse, PhD, is the associate clinical director and a senior psychologist at the Child Mind Institute.
What Is Nacho Parenting?
In general, nacho parenting means "not your kid, not your problem," so if you see a child that isn't yours acting up or throwing a tantrum, you would avoid intervening. However, Dr. Whitehouse says that nacho parenting is a style more commonly used in blended families. "Nacho parenting is a playful way of saying that stepparents should step back and disengage from trying to parent their partner's children," she says. "Instead, a stepparent's main role is to support their spouse or partner and respect the children's biological parents as decision makers."
If you are practicing nacho parenting, this means stepparents would avoid asserting authority and disciplining their stepchildren. Instead, the stepparent would focus on "building a solid relationship with the children," Dr. Whitehouse adds.
The Pros and Cons of Nacho Parenting
For blended families, Dr. Whitehouse says nacho parenting can be useful with clear communication. "Children, especially those adjusting to a new family structure, tend to be more open to a stepparent who doesn't try to replace their biological parent or disrupt routines," Dr. Whitehouse says. "The other parent might also be more willing to accept and work with the stepparent." Fortunately, these two factors could make the transition much easier for everyone involved.
However, nacho parenting can sometimes distance the stepparent from the rest of the family or create a power imbalance, Dr. Whitehouse says. If the child knows the stepparent won't discipline them or intervene, this could cause them to act out or behave poorly on purpose.
Outside of blended families, nacho parenting can be an effective strategy when dealing with kids who aren't your own - especially since there's no one right way to parent. However, Dr. Whitehouse says that you should feel empowered to step in if the child is doing something that "has caused, is causing, or could cause harm to themselves or others." If it's not urgent, she recommends speaking to the biological parent directly first, but if it needs to be addressed right away, she advises you to "keep your cool, be fair and firm, and follow up with a conversation with the biological parent."
Is Nacho Parenting Effective?
For blended families specifically, nacho parenting can be very effective when boundaries and expectations are clear. "Biological parents and stepparents should understand the roles that each will play, and children should be told about the stepparent's supportive role and given an opportunity to ask questions and share their thoughts," Dr. Whitehouse says. This can help stepparents ease into the family system more naturally.
That said, there's no one-size-fits-all approach when it comes to parenting. What may work for one family may not work for your family, and that's OK. "Like any approach to family life, its success depends on patience, empathy, and flexibility. Ultimately, each family creates its own harmony," Dr. Whitehouse says.
Related: How "Type C" Became the Ultimate Cool Parenting Style Taylor Andrews is the senior balance editor at Popsugar, specializing in topics relating to sex, relationships, dating, sexual health, mental health, travel, and more. With eight years of editorial experience, Taylor has a strong background in content creation and storytelling. Prior to joining PS in 2021, she worked at Cosmopolitan.Hence then, the article about why nacho parenting could be the solution for your blended family was published today ( ) and is available on popsugar ( Middle East ) The editorial team at PressBee has edited and verified it, and it may have been modified, fully republished, or quoted. You can read and follow the updates of this news or article from its original source.
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