Dr. Panagakis says that signs of a narcissistic parent may include:
struggling to understand or care about their children’s feelingsusing guilt, shame and emotional blackmail tactics to control their childrenredirecting conversations to put the focus on themself (the parent)creating unreasonable expectations of their children because their child’s achievement becomes an extension of themselves (the parent)demonstrating favoritism toward one child and inciting sibling rivalryDr. Lyall-Neal says that narcissistic parents may also engage in role-reversal with their children. “They may treat the child like the adult, relying on them for emotional support and praise,” she explains. Related: One Thing You Should Never, Ever Do if You Have a Narcissistic Parent
9 Things Children of Narcissistic Parents Often Struggle With as Adults, According to Psychologists
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2. Feeling guilty for prioritizing needs
These adults may feel guilty anytime they prioritize their needs, or even the needs of their own families. “An example might be flying to another state to attend a family gathering, even though this will lead to financial hardship,” Dr. Lyall-Neal says. “The need to please the narcissistic parent overpowers the need to save money to cover needed expenses at home.”This could result in things like credit card debt and finance-related arguments with their spouse. The adult child may feel caught between the needs of their narcissistic parent and the needs of their own family, “often leading to feelings of dissonance,” she explains.
4. Fear of failure
A fear of failure can characterize those who were raised by narcissistic parents. “They might not take on new tasks or projects due to lack of confidence in their competency, likely due to not receiving praise or encouragement or, alternatively, receiving negative feedback when trying new or novel tasks as children,” Dr. Lyall-Neal says.
6. Self-doubt
Overwhelming self-doubt is a common trait among those with narcissistic parents. “They might look to others to help make decisions on things as small as where to eat and as large as buying a new house or car,” Dr. Lyall-Neal states. “This could result in lost autonomy, wherein the person relies on others to make major life decisions and experiences stress when forced to make important decisions on their own.”
8. Struggling with the idea of unconditional love
According to Dr. Lyall-Neal, you may not be able to grasp the concept of unconditional love. “As a child of a narcissistic parent, they were never exposed to love that wasn’t tit for tat,” she says. “They had to behave a certain way or do certain things to receive praise or love.”When you’re an adult, you might find yourself trying to seek out motives in the kindness of others, friends or romantic partners. She adds that this could lead to conflict in friendships and relationships, “as others fail to realize the reasons behind the person’s constant mistrust.”
9. Health issues
Dr. Lyall-Neal’s first recommendation is to “find a good therapist to help with uncovering the narcissistic traits” that are specific to your situation. “When a person has grown up in the home of a narcissistic parent, the behaviors they experienced are their normal, and they will need help teasing out normal behaviors from abusive behaviors,” she explains. Over time, through therapy, you may begin to build trust in your own judgement, and this can eventually help you set healthy boundaries. “It’s important to note that recovery will involve working through shame and guilt, and is not a linear process,” she states. “These adult children will need to learn how to have compassion for themselves as they heal. For some children of narcissistic parents, this process will help them discover their true self-worth for the first time, and that can be very powerful.”“Healing from a narcissistic parent takes time and effort,” Dr. Panagakis concludes. “It may not seem easy, but it’s possible to find a healthy relationship with yourself and others.”Up Next:
Related: How To Deal With a Narcissistic Parent, According to Psychologists
Sources:
Dr. Peter Panagakis, PsyD, is a clinical psychologist and the Regional Psychotherapy Director for Mindpath Health.Dr. Sarah Lyall-Neal, PsyD, is a licensed clinical psychologist at Cleveland Clinic.Hence then, the article about 9 things children of narcissistic parents often struggle with as adults according to psychologists was published today ( ) and is available on Parade ( Saudi Arabia ) The editorial team at PressBee has edited and verified it, and it may have been modified, fully republished, or quoted. You can read and follow the updates of this news or article from its original source.
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