Ideally, we're in the driver's seat of our own lives. However, emotionally controlling people can subtly take the wheel, and you may not notice it until you reach the point of emotional pain. "Being emotionally controlled means that another person is consistently influencing how you feel, think or behave by leveraging emotional pressure," says Dr. Holly Schiff, Psy.D., a licensed clinical psychologist. "They don't use direct demands, they rely on guilt, fear, obligation or self-doubt in order to shape your choices."As time goes on, Dr. Schiff warns that you may start to feel responsible for managing the controlling person's emotional state at the expense of their own.Recognizing these subtle behaviors is crucial. When you know which signs indicate this manipulation, you can take action before you're in too deep. Psychologists note that certain behaviors signal emotional control—some you might display, others a controlling person uses—all of which are cause for a pause.Related: 8 Phrases High-Level Manipulators Often Use, According to Psychologists
11 Subtle Signs You're Being 'Emotionally Controlled,' According to Psychologists
Olga Kurbatova/Getty Images
2. You feel discomfort making decisions
It's important to think of others when making decisions that affect them, but it can go too far when you're being emotionally controlled."Sometimes, a person who is emotionally controlled experiences discomfort with making a decision because they are concerned about how the person controlling them may respond," says Dr. Brandy Smith, Ph.D.,a licensed psychologist with Thriveworks.Specifically, she explains that you may constantly worry whether or not your choice will be considered "enough in line" with what the emotionally controlling person would decide.
4. You notice that negative emotions guide your decisions
Your actual desires may not have much of a seat at the table when you come to a decision."You might find yourself doing things you’d rather not do out of a sense of guilt, fear or obligation," explains Dr. Deborah Vinall, Psy.D., LMFT, the chief psychological officer with Recovered.org. "Sometimes, this indicates a pattern that was learned in childhood from living with a controlling parent, but it may mean you remain or are once again in a relationship with an emotionally controlling person who is willing to weaponize feelings of duty or pity to get what they want."Related: People Who Grew up With Super-Negative Parents Often Develop These 12 Traits as Adults, Psychologists Say
6. You want to avoid harmless topics
It's natural to want to avoid the latest hot-button issue, especially in today's world. However, Dr. Smith shares it's a red flag if you feel like you can't broach topics that aren't "emotionally evocative" with someone, especially if they commonly turn molehills into mountains. "For instance, crossing paths with a particular person while running errands may be construed as problematic when it was random, insignificant and inconsequential," she explains.Related: These Two Types of People Are the Most Likely To Experience Manipulation—Here’s Why and What To Do
8. You explain yourself far more than necessary
In emotionally controlling situations, Dr. Hafeez warns that you may feel the need to constantly justify your choices, thoughts and feelings in great detail. "This can come from past experiences where you weren’t believed or were misunderstood on purpose," she notes. "It’s a sign you’re trying to earn permission to feel a certain way."Related: Psychologists Say People Who Overshare Often Have These 7 Deeper Struggles
10. You feel anxious whenever you’re around that person
Anxiety can sneak up on you—you might feel butterflies in your stomach or breathe a little faster. Ask yourself: Do you feel this anxious in all situations or just with one person, like a partner or parent?"While some people experience social anxiety in a generalized way, anxiety that is tied to one specific person indicates an unhealthy pattern of emotional control," Dr. Vinall explains.Related: If You Can Relate to These 9 Phrases, You Might Have High-Functioning Anxiety, According to a Psychologist
1. Name the behavior
This one might sound scary, and Dr. Vinall notes that naming the behavior of a manipulator may not even be safe. However, naming the behavior with yourself is incredibly validating and helpful."Clearly identifying to yourself what is happening gives you space to decide whether to respond to the emotional undercurrents or to choose actions and words more in line with your own desires, needs and beliefs," she says. "Naming the behavior helps you differentiate between their wants and your own."
3. Create boundaries
Dr. Vinall says it's vital to set boundaries that protect your psychological space, time and values."A boundary is a clearly communicated line that allows for maintenance of a relationship without becoming overwhelmed by or resentful of excessive demands," she says. "Strong boundaries are backed with a pre-determined action on your part."She advises people to decide in advance how much time, attention and material gifts they are willing to share with this person, and to stick to the boundary unless there's a legitimate crisis, like informing the person of a health emergency involving a child you share, even if you've otherwise stopped contact."[It] will protect your mental space and allow you to live in congruence with your own priorities and values," Dr. Vinall says.Up Next:
Related: 7 Common Gaslighting Phrases Boomers Use With Their Adult Children, Psychologists Say
Sources:
Dr. Holly Schiff, Psy.D., is a licensed clinical psychologist.Dr. Brandy Smith, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist with Thriveworks.Dr. Deborah Vinall, Psy.D., LMFT, is the chief psychological officer with Recovered.org.Dr. Sanam Hafeez, Psy.D., is a neuropsychologist and the director of Comprehend the Mind.Hence then, the article about psychologists warn these 11 subtle behaviors are signs you re being emotionally controlled was published today ( ) and is available on Parade ( Saudi Arabia ) The editorial team at PressBee has edited and verified it, and it may have been modified, fully republished, or quoted. You can read and follow the updates of this news or article from its original source.
Read More Details
Finally We wish PressBee provided you with enough information of ( Psychologists Warn: These 11 Subtle Behaviors Are Signs You’re Being 'Emotionally Controlled' )
Also on site :
- Saks Global Secures $1.75 Billion of Committed Capital and Announces Return of Industry Veterans to Advance Transformation of Iconic Luxury Portfolio
- Another Weight Loss Surgery and a Wedding Bombshell: Spoilers From '1000-Lb Sisters' Season 8 Episode 2
- Trump-Iran latest: President threatens ‘very strong action’ if protesters are hanged after forced confessions