We toss the term "emotional intelligence" around a lot, but have you ever stopped and wondered what its actual definition is? "Emotional intelligence [EI] is our awareness, management, understanding and healthy expression of our emotions and others'," Solit explains.There's also another important layer to EI."Additionally, it is an understanding of how our emotional states impact others, and how their emotional states impact us. It is a key part of healthy interactions with others in our social, professional and family lives," he adds.Dr. Nona Kocher, a board-certified psychiatrist based in Miami, FL, says emotional intelligence can be put into practice in several ways."It can look like labeling emotions with precision, taking a breath before reacting, understanding the impact of your tone of voice and repairing when you’ve responded inappropriately," Dr. Kocher says. "Someone who is emotionally intelligent might be able to hold the tension of opposing feelings, read subtle social cues and speak in a way that leaves relationships in better shape."Related: 12 Things Emotionally Intelligent Women Do That the Average Person Avoids, Psychologists Say
The Telltale Signs of an Emotionally Intelligent Host
When you're attending a party, there are a few ways to identify an emotionally intelligent host."Telltale signs of an emotionally intelligent host are that they are flexible, self-aware and communicative. They are not 'freaking out,' but are able to ask for help when they need it. They are attuned to their emotional state and its effect on their guests and the event," Solit explains. "Stressed-out hosts have stressed-out guests, while hosts who are having a great time have guests who are having a great time."Put simply, an emotionally intelligent host behaves the way they want their guests to feel. "Emotionally intelligent hosts are understanding or attentive to the reasonable needs of their guests," he shares. "They accept that things will not usually go to plan but still have fun anyway. They have fun with the inevitable hiccups and don’t they don’t let perfection be the enemy of a good time. They are aware that their emotional state is infectious to their guests, for better or for worse."Related: Psychologists Warn: These 9 Common Family Habits Make Holiday Stress So Much Worse
9 Things Emotionally Intelligent Hosts Avoid Doing, According to a Psychiatrist
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2. They never ignore someone who seems isolated or overwhelmed
On the scale of Grinch to Mariah Carey, everyone falls somewhere different on the holiday cheer spectrum. If you're hosting a party this season, be prepared to welcome guests who experience and interact with the holidays in different ways."Expecting others to feel the holiday magic the same way you do is a recipe for disappointment and missed expectations," Solit shares. "Let your guests experience holidays in a way that makes them happy and at ease. It’s everyone’s holiday, not just yours."He suggests asking guests ahead of time if there's anything you can do or provide as a host so they enjoy themselves. Doing so can help meet them at their comfort level.
4. They never let conflict escalate or linger in the room
As a host, your job is to help everyone feel at ease, so it's important to resist the urge to crack jokes at someone else's expense."An emotionally intelligent host would not make a joke or further point out an awkward moment that a person has, such as spilling a drink or dropping food," Dr. Kocher says. "Instead, a thoughtful host would take steps to help the moment quickly fade. This helps keep the mood light and guests comfortable."Related: If Holiday Visits Leave You Drained, These 10 ‘Emotionally Intelligent’ Boundaries Help—Especially for Women Over 50
6. They never monopolize conversations or steer everything back to themselves
The holidays are always hectic, and many of us have a laundry list of friends and family members to visit in a short amount of time. So if you're hosting a party, Solit says it's important to accept that your guests might need to leave early to make the rounds."People don’t feel as comfortable when they feel like captives at a get-together," he shares. "LifeStance Health’s recent study about stress during the holidays showed that 75% of respondents say at least some of their planned holiday gatherings feel more like obligations than something they truly wanted to attend. Don’t make it an obligation, but something that people feel comfortable attending and comfortable leaving at the right time for them."
8. They should never expect a holiday event to go exactly as planned
9. They should never overindulge in alcoholic beverages while hosting
Pouring a glass of wine while you prepare for your guests to arrive can certainly help you transition into party mode, but Solit says you shouldn't overdo it. "It’s tough enough to host guests stone [cold] sober, let alone intoxicated," the therapist says, adding that drinking too much as a host can be a "slippery slope."Related: How To Set Boundaries Around Gift-Giving Without Sounding Rude, According to Psychologists
Go slow: "Take things one step at a time and set reasonable expectations. Accept that things will not go as planned," Solit says. Don't forget to have fun: "If you’re having a great time, your guests will have one too. As a host, embody the emotions that you want your guests to feel," he shares.Remember the little details: Dr. Kocher says emotionally intelligent hosts learn to pay attention to everything. "They remember the little details—who abstains from drinking, who is vegetarian — and quietly accommodate," the expert says.Don't put too much pressure on yourself: "Emotionally intelligent hosts are not focused on making lasting memories or ensuring the continuation of traditions. They focus on having good fun, good conversations, and good company, starting with themselves," Solit explains.Express your gratitude for guests: "After the event, a quick and genuine follow-up leaves guests feeling special," Dr. Kocher says.
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Related: How to Actually Enjoy the Holidays Again: Psychologists Share 13 Strategies That Work for Women Over 50
Sources:
Matthew Solit, LMSW, North Division Executive Clinical Director of LifeStance Health.Dr. Nona Kocher, board-certified psychiatrist based in Miami, FL.Hence then, the article about 9 things emotionally intelligent hosts never do during holiday gatherings was published today ( ) and is available on Parade ( Saudi Arabia ) The editorial team at PressBee has edited and verified it, and it may have been modified, fully republished, or quoted. You can read and follow the updates of this news or article from its original source.
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