In our new Money Secrets series, we are asking people to confess their money-related secret which they are hiding from loved ones or that people do not know the full extent about.
Today, we speak to James, 61, who loves clothes shopping and cannot resist a bargain. He says not many people – not even his wife – are aware of how many clothes he actually buys and owns.
As a lot of men get older, they tend to wear more beige and black and dark blue and slide into normality – but I’m not like that. I don’t want to look like a clown, but I do want some colour.
I look around and think everyone looks the same. I like to wear different things and that has been part of my identity for years.
People stereotype as if it is impossible for a man’s thing to buy lots of clothes. But I absolutely love shopping for clothes. I think it is very important what you look like and if you look good, it makes you feel good.
If you have a rubbish and stressful week at work, if you go home, open your wardrobe and put on something great, it makes you feel fantastic. It’s not just about looking smart for work, but about looking good all the time. You feel so much better if someone comments on what you are wearing.
I wear a lot of scarves and I recently went to a conference and a woman came up to me and admired it and said I looked like the most interesting person at the event. She was about 80, so it wasn’t flirty in any way. It is so lovely when something like that happens. At my age, I will take any compliment I get!
In our old house, I had twice the amount of wardrobe space my wife had and I have sometimes bought an item I already owned without realising it. When you have about five things on every hanger and there’s about 200 things hanging up, you forget what is on every single hanger. I once counted I had more than 28 winter jackets.
My real weakness is TK Maxx as you can get some wonderful stuff in there for a bargain price. I am so well-known in there now, the staff greet me by name and they don’t even ask for a signature or proof of ID when I collect packages.
It’s my go-to place. It is like my church and the altar is the till and it’s the shop I go to and pray for a bargain.
I just love their stuff and the thrill of finding a bargain. At TK Maxx, you can find something like a lime green jumper which you wouldn’t normally buy and it will get you into a particular brand or style. It is like a gateway drug.
I also love their app and am always looking at it and always find something great that I just have to buy. I always wake up in the night as I never sleep through, so I am often buying things from TK Maxx at 2am.
You get to the point where you think: “I’d be mad not to get it.” I think it’s better to buy something and regret it, than regret not buying it in the first place.
The amount of clothes I was buying was getting ridiculous at one point. But I never got into debt with it and would only spend money I could afford. At its peak, I was spending around £10,000 a year at TK Maxx alone.
But if I found I had bought the same thing twice or had too many of similar things, I would give them to a charity shop so no one loses out. Every now and then, I do a cull and give loads to the charity shop and I know it will be going to a good cause.
At one point, there were constant deliveries arriving at the house. I have had to rein my clothes shopping in a bit now as we have moved to a new place and I don’t have as much space. I have a one-in, one-out system now.
But even now, there are things I can’t resist. I saw two different Ralph Lauren jackets at TK Maxx the other day which had an RRP of £200 each. But they were on sale for £60. At that price, it would have been rude not to buy them, so I bought both of them!
The way I see it, my clothes shopping habit is not an addiction like gambling, drugs or alcohol. I am spending money I have on things that make me feel and look good.
My wife finds my shopping hilarious, but she doesn’t know the half of it. We have our separate money so I am not spending out of a joint account or anything. But there are times when I come home with a load of bags of new stuff and put it way in the wardrobe before she gets home.
It’s not that she would be annoyed at me as she has a million handbags. But it’s just to avoid the conversations such as her pointing out I already have something similar to what I’ve just bought.
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Men like shopping and clothes too. I look at what I was wearing 10 years ago and it was completely different to what I am wearing now. It is nice to evolve and change and it helps you develop your own style and gives you confidence.
Do you have a money secret that loved ones don’t know about? Is it a secret debt or a hidden stash of money that no one knows about? Or maybe you have a mysterious spending habit or a clandestine side hustle.
Share your money secret by emailing: Aasma.day@theipaper.com. Identities will be protected.
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