4 Phrases Parents and Grandparents Should Avoid Using After School—and Why
One of the most common questions that parents and grandparents ask kids after school is one that parenting experts don't usually recommend: "How was your day?""The truth is: 'How was your day?' isn’t bad, but it usually doesn’t get you much more than 'Fine' or 'Good,'" Gallant explains. "Why? After school, kids’ brains are maxed out. They’ve been 'on' all day, following rules, sitting still, managing social dynamics. By the time they get home, they’re tapped out. Big, open-ended questions can feel like one more demand on their already drained brains."Besides that go-to question, she reveals three more phrases to avoid right after school:
“Were you good today?” ("This can make kids feel like their worth is tied to their behavior," she explains.)“Did you listen to your teacher?” ("Puts kids on the defensive immediately," she warns.)“Tell me everything you did today!” ("Overwhelming," she says.)Related: The #1 Hack To Get Your Child or Grandchild’s Attention Without Yelling
"Try short, connection-focused questions that invite conversation without pressure," she suggests, offering the following examples:
“What made you smile today?”“What was the yummiest thing you ate at lunch?”“Who did you sit next to?”You can also be on the lookout for openings that they bring up themselves."One of our favorite tricks: let them lead," Gallant tells Parade. "If they bring up Minecraft, or who sat next to who in the cafeteria, lean in! That’s the gold."Related: 10 Things Every Kid Needs To Hear From Their Parents and Grandparents, Child Psychologists Say
After-School Meltdowns
"Summer meltdowns often come from unstructured days, transitions or sibling conflicts," Gallant tells Parade. "But during the school year, meltdowns usually show up as after-school restraint collapse: kids hold it together all day, then 'fall apart' when they get home, because home is their safe place."
Extra tears over “little” things (like not cutting their snack the "correct" way).Explosive tantrums right at pickup.Seeming “fine” all day, then a total emotional flood at night.
What helps:
"Expect it," Gallant says. "Plan for a 20-minute decompression window after school.""Offer snacks, quiet time or physical activity before diving into homework or questions," she recommends."Anchor them with calm presence, your calm nervous system helps regulate theirs," she explains.A post shared by Toddler Experts (@biglittlefeelings)
Related: The Genius Trick for Easier Mornings With Kids: 'It Changes Everything'
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Courtesy Alex Stone Photography
Kristin Gallant, parent coach with "Big Little Feelings." With a background in international affairs and a concentration in maternal and child education, Kristin is a vocal mental health advocate whose mom-of-three realness shows you how to make that expert advice work in your home.Hence then, the article about 4 phrases parents and grandparents should avoid using right after school and why was published today ( ) and is available on Parade ( Saudi Arabia ) The editorial team at PressBee has edited and verified it, and it may have been modified, fully republished, or quoted. You can read and follow the updates of this news or article from its original source.
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